I should be sleeping so I can wake up and study tomorrow morning. Instead I'm doing this.
Just control-F your team and tell me why I'm an idiot in the comments, OK?
Bowl |
Date |
Tie 1 |
Tie 2 |
Comments |
||
| Cure | 17-Dec | AAC | SMU | Sun Belt | South Alabama | Just keep moving. |
| Camelia | 17-Dec | MAC 3 | Eastern Michigan | Sun Belt | Arkansas State | The Eagles just keep failing upwards. |
| New Orleans | 17-Dec | Sun Belt | Appalachian State | C-USA | Louisiana Tech | The Bulldogs make NOLA after a C-USA CCG loss. They face the Sun Belt runners-up. |
| New Mexico | 17-Dec | C-USA | UTSA | MWC | New Mexico | A nice local matchup after the Lobos faded down the stretch in the MWC. |
| Las Vegas | 17-Dec | MWC | San Diego State | Pac12 6 | Arizona State | The Aztecs get revenge on the 'Pokes in the MWC Championship, and then Donnell Pumphrey loses his damn mind on an awful ASU defense. |
| Miami Beach | 19-Dec | AAC | Central Florida | MAC | Central Michigan | I'm mostly doing this for the enjoyment of two Centrals. |
| Boca Raton | 20-Dec | AAC | Houston | C-USA | Western Kentucky | They find a good matchup after all for the Cougars, who get the C-USA champion 'Toppers. |
| Poinsettia | 21-Dec | BYU | BYU | MWC | Wyoming | The 'Pokes get a tough matchup as a reward for a runner-up finish in the MWC. |
| Potato | 22-Dec | MAC | Miami Hydroxide | MWC | Boise State | The Broncos tumble to a home finale after losing the tiebreaker to Wyoming. They get a Miami (OH) that's won 6 straight. |
| Bahamas | 23-Dec | AAC | Tulsa | MAC | Toledo | I maintain that the Bahamas just requests whichever MAC and AAC teams score the most. |
| Armed Forces | 23-Dec | Big XII 7-8 | Baylor | AAC (Navy) | Navy | With Seth Russell out, Baylor limps to a 6-6 finish. Navy's locked in here. |
| Dollar General | 23-Dec | MAC | Ohio | Sun Belt | Troy | Ohio and Troy both finish runner-up. It's just like the Dollar General Bowl to be able to skimp on lettering thanks to only needing 8 total letters (and only 6 different ones)! |
| Hawaii | 24-Dec | MWC | Hawaii | C-USA | Middle Tennessee State | Hawaii is 5-7 and has to beat an abysmal UMass club at home. They do. |
| Independence | 26-Dec | ACC | Old Dominion | C-USA/SEC | Mississippi State** | The 9-3 (!!!) Monarchs fill an extra ACC spot. The Independence grabs someone close to home that's "smart." |
| Quick Lane | 26-Dec | ACC | Northern Illinois** | B1G 8-9 | Indiana | Minnesota isn't going to NYC, Indiana can't go back there, and I don't see the Hoosiers jumping into the Music City. So it's still Detroit. Sorry :( |
| St. Petersburg | 26-Dec | ACC/C-USA | Boston College** | AAC | South Florida | A home matchup for the Bulls is too good to pass up. Can you tell where I just kept passing on obligations to fill bowl games? |
| Cactus | 27-Dec | Big XII 6 | Texas | Pac12 7 | Colorado State* | When the Pac-12 can't fill this, the Mountain West steps gamely in. |
| Heart of Dallas | 27-Dec | B1G 8-9 | Vanderbilt** | C-USA | North Texas | The Mean Green will get to 6-6 against UTEP. |
| Military | 27-Dec | ACC | Wake Forest | AAC | Temple | …I mean, this could conceivably be a worse game somehow? |
| Holiday | 27-Dec | B1G 2-4 | Iowa | Pac12 3 | Washington State | Please let Mike Leach call Kirk Ferentz an uptight prick at some point during the bowl festivities… |
| Russell Athletic | 28-Dec | ACC 2 | VaTech | Big XII 3 | West Virginia | I still maintain this will happen when VaTech loses the ACC Championship Game but slots in behind Louisville. Gimme this rivalry game against 10-2 West-by-God. |
| Pinstripe | 28-Dec | ACC 3-6 | Georgia Tech | B1G 5-7 | Maryland | Ugh. |
| Texas | 28-Dec | Big XII 4 | TCU | SEC 3-8 | LSU | LSU drinks the damn town dry, and TCU fans show up in force. |
| Foster Farms | 28-Dec | B1G 5-7 | Northwestern | Pac12 4 | Stanford | Nerd fight continues through my own incompetence. |
| Alamo | 29-Dec | Big XII 2 | Oklahoma State | Pac12 2 | USC | The Trojans are on the outside looking in at the Pac-12 title and go to San Antonio as a result. |
| Belk | 29-Dec | ACC 3-6 | Miami | SEC 3-8 | Ole Miss | A decently entertaining matchup for the Swedish Chef of bowl games. |
| Birmingham | 29-Dec | AAC | Memphis | SEC 9 | South Carolina | This feels like a worse matchup than it probably is, all things considered. |
| Sun | 30-Dec | ACC 3-6 | Pitt | Pac12 5 | Utah | Utah takes a little tumble but gets a decent matchup with a surging Pitt. |
| Music City | 30-Dec | B1G 5-7 | Minnesota | SEC 3-8 | Arkansas | Man, how long has it been since the Gophers have been to the Glen Mason Memorial Bowl? We get a 2002 rematch! |
| Arizona | 30-Dec | MWC | Air Force | Sun Belt | Idaho | Air Force gets a nearby program in its death throes but good enough for one last hurrah. Tune in as an entertaining alternative to Bert slaughtering Minnesota. |
| Liberty | 30-Dec | Big XII 5 | Kansas State | SEC 3-8 | Kentucky | The "Wow, don't watch this" bowl. |
| Citrus | 31-Dec | ACC/B1G 2-4 | Florida State | SEC 2 | Tennessee | Sticking with this one. 9-3 (5-3) Tennessee will travel, and FSU both slots in and travels. |
| TaxSlayer | 31-Dec | ACC 3-6 | North Carolina | SEC 3-8 | Auburn | UNC won't win the Coastal thanks to an H2H loss to VaTech. The SEC after 'Bama and Florida is a mess. |
| Outback | 2-Jan | B1G 2-4 | Nebraska | SEC 3-8 | Texas A&M | Now THIS game I could actually get behind. |
New Year's Six Bowls |
||||||
Bowl |
Date |
Tie 1 |
Tie 2 |
Comments |
||
| Cotton | 2-Jan | At-Large | Penn State | At-Large | Western Michigan | The Broncos have jumped to #14 in the nation and with Wyoming's upset of San Diego State, Boise can't get the wins it needs to leapfrog Team Fleck. |
| Rose | 2-Jan | B1G 1 | wisconsin | Pac12 1 | Colorado | Your Big Ten champions. /vomits everywhere |
| Sugar | 2-Jan | Big XII 1 | Oklahoma | SEC 1 | Florida | I don't even know what to tell you with the SEC race to #2. If Florida beats FSU, they're even morelocked in here. |
| Orange | 30-Dec | ACC 1 | Louisville | B1G/SEC/ND | Michigan | A loss to the Buckeyes dooms the Maize and Blue. Louisville's basically locked in here unless they lose to UK. |
College Football Playoff |
||||||
Bowl |
Date |
Tie 1 |
Tie 2 |
Comments |
||
| Fiesta | 31-Dec | CFP2 | Clemson | CFP3 | Ohio State | I can't believe I just did this. But yep. 11-1 Ohio State goes. |
| Peach | 31-Dec | CFP1 | Alabama | CFP4 | Washington | The Huskies win out, beating the Buffs in the Pac-12 title game. |
Random Assorted Thoughts:
- Still four 5-7 teams, only now Vandy's back in and North Texas makes it to 6-6, so NIU, Boston College, and Mississippi State round it out.
- The SEC after Florida is decidedly mediocre. Of course, now this means that Tennessee will house Florida State by about 40 in their bowl game and start next year ranked #2.
- Man, after K-State there is no one in the Big XII inspiring a damn bit of confidence in me, if I'm a bowl organizer.
- The congealed mass of shit that is the Big Ten after Minnesota (ok, maybe even including Minnesota) is a pain to sort out, what with Minnesota not being able to go to Detroit, Indiana not being able to go to New York, and Maryland just really being awful.
- Yes, that means I have the last week playing out as such: Ohio State beats Michigan, Penn State beats Michigan State, wisconsin levels the Axe series. wisconsin then beats Penn State but doesn't pass Michigan somehow. We are all sad.
- Nebraska has realized it's probably easiest to just quietly take a nice trip to Tampa and make sure Tommy Armstrong isn't sipping his Bloomin' Onion through a straw.
- I remain adamant that I have figured out the Bahamas Bowl. That is likely of no importance to the rest of you, but I will eagerly watch the hell out of Tulsa-Toledo.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments!