clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Big Ten Haikus

New, 92 comments

B1G Team Haikus brought to you by OTE.

Big Ten Conference

We have a talented group of literary masters here at Off Tackle Empire. Behind each and every one of us surly, “MY TEAM” writers lies a dramatic poet waiting to burst forth. This inspired the creation of a piece that would utilize these talents in order to share some Big Ten haikus that tell the stories of our teams this season. Each of these haikus was written by a creative Off Tackle Empire mind and most were derived from the deep emotional connections we have to the Big Ten teams we bleed for. A Haiku is of 9th century Japanese origin and follows a 5-7-5 syllable style (it technically also has another two lines of 7 syllables that someone else would add and then repeat in this order, but we all stuck with common 5-7-5 format.) We hope you enjoy our art via words and please share your own work in the comments!

This will be much fun

Haikus and Big Ten Football

Can it get better?

Illinois

Meaningless football

Learning to walk yet again

Someday we'll matter

-Thumpasaurus

Indiana

A defense we found

Much rejoicing was expressed

Tom Allen for life

Bowl bound yet again

This time, we head west to play

Can we upset Utes?

-Candystripes For Breakfast

Iowa

Offense is awful

Ferentz contract extension

Still won 3 trophies

New Kirk, yay!

Contract extension

Old Kirk, Welp

-StewMonkey

Maryland

DJ wanted not

to write poem for Maryland

Season was mundane

-ZuzuRU

Michigan

No one to blame but

No one to blame but the refs

Good life lesson here

Jim Harbaugh Harbaugh

Jim Harbaugh Jabrill Peppers

Jim Harbaugh Peppers

-Graham Filler

Michigan State

Bowl season is sad

I hate all of you bastards

Pass the Ro*Tel Dip

-Andrew Kraszewski

Minnesota

I don't want to write

About this Minnesota

Team anymore. Thanks.

-insertname

Claeys wastes our soft slate

Kill’s momentum nearly dead

Recruiting takes nap

-WhiteSpeedReceiver

Nebraska

Huskers are bowling

Without a special waiver

It’s progress, I guess?

-Jesse

Northwestern

Exams are not fun

NU is mediocre

Pitt by seventeen

No, it's not The Year

Because it's never The Year

Please stop asking me

-MNWildcat

The cats are middling

Not what we wanted this year

Going to New York

-LincolnParkWildcat

Ohio State

Barrett has the skill

To overcome bad blocking

Not outrun Tim Beck

Isiah Prince has

Two gears for his blocking game

Reverse and Confused

-GoForThree

Lots of youngsters start

Imperfect, but playoff bound

Somewhere Harbaugh weeps

-Ted Glover

Penn State

Nittany Lions

We return to prominence

Franklin walks the talk

-87Townie

James Franklin hot seat?

More like cold seat. Am I right?

Too bad we are stuck

-Aaron Yorke

Purdue

Purdue football

Fired their coach for losing

Not for being mean

-babaoreally

Rutgers

New Rutgers era

Didn’t go as fans wanted

There’s always next year

There is a concept

That is known as the future

It comforts Rutgers

-ZuzuRU

Wisconsin

Badgers choked their lead

And allowed evil to win

Why did you do this?

-ZuzuRU

Bonus Round!

Jim Delany knows

That Penn State beat the Buckeyes

And he doesn't care

-GoForThree

Time for bowl season

Four teams in the NY6?

Row the goddamn boat.

-MNWildcat

Peppers for Heisman

He returned a punt one time

Watch only highlights

-Thumpasaurus

B1G punt punt punt punt

Punt punt punt B1G punt punt punt

punt punt punt punt B1G

-StewMonkey