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Wisconsin vs. Iowa Recap

I'm writing articles while celebrating drunk. Deal with it

Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports

First. We start with an amazing GIF...

Now, I can't decide if my favorite part of this GIF is the actual dunk or "0 for my career against the school I pissed and moaned my way out of'" Jarrod Uthoff getting absolutely trucked and posterized by a true freshman. Actually, the correct answer is all of the above.

On to the game. Basically, the first half was Wisconsin against Peter Jok. I will say this, Jok is a great story and I give him all the credit in the world for being the player he is. I couldn't imagine barely knowing my father and it couldn't be easy being Sudanese going up in Iowa. It's probably hard enough growing up in Iowa as it is. Throw in being a highly rated recruit and getting hurt at the worst possible time for a recruit and he's a great example of resilience. That being said I was less than pleased with the number of threes he hit. Most of them were entirely too wide open. I keep getting distracted by the GIF to write... IT'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL ON SO MANY LEVELS. Where was I? Oh right, so despite Jok's best efforts, only one basket for Captain Crybaby Benchwarmer and eight turnovers combined with a complete inability to stop Khalil Iverson and Vitto Brown from dunking all over them and Wisconsin held a 35-34 lead.

After intermission things started to get a bit hairy. Uthoff started to look like a player who might have actually seen minutes at Wisconsin in his career, although Jok started to cool off just a bit. Meanwhile, Iverson continued to attack the rim like it had insulted his mother, as evidenced by the GIF above. Despite briefly holding the lead, Iowa couldn't stop the next great white scrappy Wisconsin guard Zak Showalter from making clutch plays down the stretch, most notable of which was probably ripping away a rebound from the eye patch industry's best friend Adam Woodbury, leading to Nigel Hayes drilling a three to give Wisconsin a 62-58 lead.

From there on out it was all free throws and dancing, as in Wisconsin is dancing for the 18th straight year barring something ridiculous happening. Like not winning a game the rest of the year. I mean it could happen but I wouldn't bet on it. Although beating Iowa in February shouldn't mean that much. They're the anti-MSU. Nobody is more reliable for a late season meltdown. Good news Iowa fans, Uthoff finally scraped himself off the floor after Iverson destroyed his soul.