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How I Won The OTE BTT Pick'em

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The Thumpasaurus Reign Of Terror begins today.

Behold, peons, and rejoice at your fortune to be privileged enough to bask in the magnificence of such an enlightened one as I, Thumpasaurus, winner of the 2016 OTE Big Ten Tournament Pick'em.

As the king of that mountain, I find it only appropriate that I be designated Thumpasaurus Rex until such a time as I am toppled from my lofty throne.

In short,

But what guided my divine hand to correctly bestow my favor upon those teams who would prove themselves most worthy? I shall offer you, dear reader, a rare look into the evaluative process of Thumpasaurus Rex.

Game 1: Illinois Fighting Illini over Minnesota Golden Gophers

Among my easiest selections. Minnesota may have sent in one of the most overmatched starting lineups in the history of the Big Ten Tournament, as I have devoured most of their scholarship players. Though they had proportionally longer arms, this served them poorly as my sheer strength overwhelmed them.

Game 2: Nebraska Cornhuskers over Rutgers Scarlet Knights

Though the conventional wisdom pertaining to the difficulty of defeating a team thrice in a season clouded my judgment, not even my vast powers could conceive of a scenario where Rutgers won a game in the Big Ten Men's Basketball Tournament.

Game 3: Michigan Wolverines over Northwestern Wildcats

Woe be upon you, Northwestern fans, for Bill Carmody is going to the NCAA tournament and you are not. Looking at the weather conditions in Hell showed that it was not frozen over yesterday, so I'm sorry to say you had no chance. Maybe keep that bookmarked so you can check the conditions every Selection Sunday. Jon Beilein, despite once losing to John Groce in the Round of 64, seems to do his best coaching in postseason tournaments.

Game 4: Iowa Hawkeyes over Illinois Fighting Illini

This game proved that although I am far closer to being as such than you mere mortals, I am not fully omniscient. I underestimated the power of Iowa to choke, and I didn't count on John Groce being able to wring one last high-energy performance out of an Illinois squad that would finish with nineteen losses. I was quite delighted to be proven wrong.

Game 5: Ohio State Buckeyes over Penn State Nittany Lions

Ohio State's talent, though raw enough to require an FDA warning in the Big Ten Tournament program, is still superior to the sum of Penn State's talent, experience and coaching.

Game 6: Wisconsin Badgers over Nebraska Cornhuskers

Though I correctly predicted that Nebraska would be given an uncomfortably close game by Rutgers, I had thought this would sufficiently wear down Andrew White and Shavon Shields. However, Nebrasketball caught an unprepared Wisconsin with its pants down, defying my prediction.

Game 7: Michigan Wolverines over Indiana Hoosiers

What could be more perfectly representative of the Tom Crean Indiana Hoosiers than to lock up the outright conference season championship, secure Coach of the Year honors for Crean, and promptly lose to a depleted Michigan team that bracketologists had left for dead, dropping the Hoosiers to a 5-seed? If you didn't see this coming, hello and welcome to Indiana basketball under Tom Crean.

Game 8: Purdue Boilermakers over Illinois Fighting Illini

I'd thought Iowa would be here after surviving a scare from Illinois and be absolutely hammered into oblivion by Purdue. My prediction of "absolutely hammered into oblivion by Purdue" was quite accurate.

Game 9: Michigan State Spartans over Ohio State Buckeyes

Of the 61 entries, only one picked Ohio State to win this game. Four picked Penn State. I don't believe this requires further explanation; sometimes, my ways are neither mysterious nor enigmatic after all.

Game 10: Maryland Terrapins over Nebraska Cornhuskers

I picked this game thinking Wisconsin would be the opponent for Maryland, who have learned that assaulting Wisconsin players is perfectly legal. Since Nebraska and Wisconsin look the same from a distance, the same logic applied to this matchup.

Game 11: Purdue Boilermakers over Michigan Wolverines

I struggled with this selection but ultimately decided that Beilein would only conjure a single miracle in this tournament and did not have the horses to win without one.

Game 12: Michigan State Spartans over Maryland Terrapins

Tom Izzo is very good at the Big Ten Tournament. Maryland had to get to a 5-seed somehow.

Game 13: Michigan State Spartans over Purdue Boilermakers

The obvious choice is usually not that exciting, but is obvious for a reason. Tom Izzo is simply better than Matt Painter, and the Hammons/Haas (Hamas) combo has its limits.

Tiebreaker 1: Championship Game Score 154

If I revealed the infantile riddle the Illuminati used to generate this score for me, they would throw the world into chaos by launching an ill-fated attempt to hunt down and destroy me.

Tiebreaker 2: Championship Combined Score: 666

In honor of Bruce Pearl.

Thus, with a total score of 31 points, I won the Pick'Em.

I would like to offer a special commendation for br27, who managed a perfect zero on his bracket.

Although he truly only had to pick four games incorrectly to run the table, a perfect score is a perfect score.

So there you have it. Full standings are below:

Rank Name Points
1 thumpasaurus 31
2 gehringj 29
3 cmart102 28
4 Boilerman31 27
5 bball23 26
6 Jeff Ingebritsen 26
7 captain soco 26
8 SGTSparty 26
9 PeoriaBucky 25
10 Grizzly Spartan 25
11 IrishBrewerBadger 25
12 Andpurdruew@outlook.com 23
13 glassjawsh 23
14 Cross72 22
15 extremecomputers 22
16 ImFromMarylandAndNobodyCanBeatMe 22
17 ziowa9 21
18 cadmus2166 21
19 Cbrolin 21
20 jore0012 21
21 iogyhufi 21
22 Thundering_Boiler 21
23 GophersinCNY40 21
24 BoilerTide 20
25 Boilerupindc 19
26 crimsoncrusher 19
27 Chitownhawkeye 19
28 wookillem 19
29 beezer07 19
30 1501Central 19
31 indiana 19
32 Sir Sci 19
33 bvgilbert2990 19
34 hOSEEF 18
35 vlad3217 18
36 theguyfromy-wega 18
37 JSG101 18
38 Green 96 16
39 TomNU'83 16
40 Graham Filler 16
41 cardiohawk 16
42 Azmsu 16
43 BradNortmansActingCoach 16
44 MNWildcat 16
45 waw 16
46 StewMonkey13 16
47 B-town Bigman 16
48 Nyterp 15
49 Candystripes for Breakfast 15
50 Jesse Collins 14
51 J Rossman 14
52 jpro008 13
53 EastLosRandy 13
54 duck 13
55 badgersrox76 13
56 87 Rides A Surfboard 12
57 Hawkeyeman933 11
58 misdreavus79 10
59 Sloth Astronaut 7
60 PeteZockyU 5
61 br27 0