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SHERMAN'S MARCH TO THE SEA: TEXAS STATE BOBCATS

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GENERAL SHERMAN HAS DRUNKENLY RE-ASSESSED THE STATE OF TEXAS

NOWHERE TO RUN
NOWHERE TO RUN
Mike Granse-USA TODAY Sports

GFTREETINGFS LOYAL COINJSTITHUENTS. I REACH OUT TO YOU FROM SAN MARCOS, TEXAS.

I lkmow I dsaid I would be oin Logan, Utah nexcf but my trisp to Wacko and Cokllege Stationn left me quite distrubed. Riding through Olkalhomna my troops and I finally ran out of the tequila we lototed from the Texsa pililjaging an d, examininining my scheulde, I hadas thought when I saw that I was dued to give a battttle reporsat on Texas State.

"OH," I bellowed to my feastreless gconvoy of lopyalsit, "I'LL REPORT ON THE STASTE OF TEESXAAS ALRIGHT."

MANNY MORE BOTTLES OF MEZCAL LATER, I STAND READY TO DELIVER THAT REPORTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT WHOOPS SORRY DOZED OFF FOR A SECOND.

Hastey thetse keyboreads. switching ot mobile.

anyway I am pleased out report that TEXAS' CURRENT STATE IS AS FOLLOWS: ENGULFED IN FLAMES. THAT'S TEXAS' STATE. SHALL I STATE THE FATE OF TEXAS ONCE MORE? BURNT. BURNT TO A CRIPS.

i am lvoign the conpcet of apsp. ducking autocorrect disabled theaetpogpboi fuckin Tinder man, the womens love my prof pic:

sherman1

hey bayb im already swipin right on me, tell mmey you don't wannan cup these pecs  SWIPE RIGHT VILE REBELS AND UNDERSTAND LOVEMAKING SO COMPLETE YOU'LL NEVER AGAIN SEEK ITS LIKES.

but in all seroiusnes tesax staet

YOU TRIED TO JUMPSTART A PROGRAM WITH DENNIS FRANCHIONE? WHAT, WAS CHARLIE WEIS UNAVAILABLE?

Next B1G Matchup: The Texas State Bobcats have wisely chosen to avoid my armies after the 2014 loss in Champaign.

Sherman's Next Destination: Sleeping off what's sure to be a monster hangover, then I SWEAR I'M REALLY GOING TO LOGAN, UTAH THIS TIME.