Illinois, you're still going to suck

So Illinois, it looks like you've finally broken the fever. You've taken an enema to the entire institution, and fired your chancellor, athletic director, football coach and interim football coach since I've last spoken to you on the last day of Illinois week.

I could not have written a better tale of mismanagement: An misguided buffoon who believes that injuries do not exist gets fired a week before the season started due to a Twitter rant of a former lineman. A school that has to spend millions of dollars on outside counsel doing an external review of the entire program instead of on better things.

Then it gets better: The interim chancellor fires the athletic director, and then the interim athletic director gives the interim coach a two year extension as to not fuck over recruiting. It's, and I quote "not a dagger in the heart of the program". What the fuck...

So you guys get an alumnus to return home as Athletic Director, and guess what, he wastes several million dollars of state money that our broke state doesn't have in severance to fire the interim coach, and then you hire the former head coach of the Chicago Bears, Lovie Smith.

As if Lovie Smith will do a good job down there in Chambana. He's going to get outrecruited by Pat Fitzgerald and every single other Big Ten coach for talent, especially in-state talent. He was last a college coach back when I was in high school, and there's no way he's going to be able to relate to high school kids who might not fully remember his long tenure with the Bears.

Lovie Smith will not be the Orange messiah you guys think he's going to be. You guys will be looking for a new coach in a few years, and at that point I fear for the livers for the few remaining Illinois fans left. At that point, just dig up the bulldozer buried beneath Memorial Stadium and have it bulldoze the entire place. Invest your money in soccer or basketball. Anything else but football.

Just give up, Illinois. You cant have nice things. HAT

Ed Note: This article was late because I was under the weather last week and had to help host a huge wedding shower for 50 people.