Ohio State, the pride and joy of Columbus, Ohio, and the most recent national champion of our fine conference. Arguably the best team to wear some derivative of red, and oh boy will they let you know they’re the best. From the western reaches of Nebraska to the New Jersey shore you’ll be sure to find an Ohio State fan right where you are who will love to tell you the Bucks are #1. It may be detrimental to your health.

Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images

I would rather listen to Friday by Rebecca Black 1_000_000 times than hear more superlatives from the Buckeye faithful. Or listen to Gwar, or fucking Coldplay nonstop than hear the shitty music from their stupid looking beret wearing French marching band.

Hell, I’d rather listen to NICKELBACK than hear an OSU fan tell you how great they are.

Nickelback.

Photo by Mark Davis/Getty Images

Do you know what’s aggravating? Hearing O—-H—-I—-O non-stop from all four corners of Ryan Field from the inebriated indignant delusional scarlet and grey faithful.

If OSU fans can take over 45% of Ryan Field, it must be the ninth circle of hell for the 300 (generous estimate) remaining Purdue fans to endure 98% of Ross Ade stadium full of Buckeye fans.

It gets worse. Every fall, kids from all over Ohio go to freshman orientation and are indoctrinated into the cult of Brutus. Many Bothans Cincinnati Bearcat fans died to bring us the following image:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Clockwork_Orange_(film)

No wonder they claim they’re the best from every square mile of the conference. They’re forced to.

I miss the days when all was not well in Mudville, aka Columbus. Days bygone of a football coach making an executive decision not to tell his boss that some lawyer told me my players got free tattoos, when said football coach had no idea that his star running back was, oh shit get the literal crate of Snickers bars... here we go.

OSU fans will swear (probably) up and down the block that there’s no damn way that a certain star running back from a national championship team of a byegone decade knew anything about , oh what was it, free cars, not going to class, ten grand in stuff stolen out of a borrowed car and other things. Nope, nothing to see here!!

At least OSU didn’t have a poisonous snake like Nevin Shapiro in their midst... or did they?

LSUFREEK via EDSBS!

Things were better when OSU was derping all over the place, especially in the 2004 season when their quarterback sucked and they lost in Evanston.

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/news-photo-gallery/jim-tressel-over-the-years-wcpo1306784196356

And you know what, their fans were seriously insufferable in defeat.

I’ve got some good seats in Evanston, and all throughout that glorious game their fans were constantly saying "I CANT BELIEVE WE’RE LOSING TO THIS FUCKING PURPLE TEAM, WHAT THE FUCK THIS PISS HIGH SCHOOL STADIUM HOW ARE THEY IN THE BIG TEN AND WE’RE LOSING TO THEM.. FUCK WHY AREN’T THE BATHROOMS BIGGER I’M GOING TO PISS MY PANTS"

I think one of those OSU fans had to pee on Ted's lawn.

Normally, I’d laugh at this, but OSU fans got their revenge. From here on out, they’ve avenged the indignity of small Ryan Field bathrooms by wreaking havoc and releasing the dogs of war across the Big Ten.

Jim Tressel, Luke Fickell (HA!) and now Urban Meyer have won an impressive amount of football games and done so in (IMHO) most arrogant fashion.

That brings me to 2013, and I’ll let my Wildcat colleague MNWildcat end the article:

Get fucked, Ohio State. Get fucked, Urban Meyer