Picks, predictions, and more! Enjoy.
Maryland (-10.5) at Florida International
SU: Maryland, 17-2 || ATS: Maryland, 9-8
MNW: I don't think FIU is quite as bad as they played against Indiana, but the decision-making under center left a lot to be desired. I don't have confidence that the Terps can get to the QB in a similar fashion, which is a strange thing to say about the Hoosiers. Either way, high school wrestling standout Perry Hills throws a pick early but settles in and Maryland squeaks by, 30-20.
Candystripes: Maryland takes a step up from Howard, but not a large step. Which is basically perfect right now. Terps win and cover.
Andrew K: FIU shouldn't actually spring the upset, but the new coach optimism is going to lose a lot of its shine when this comes down to the wire. FIU covers, Terps win.
Jesse Collins: Is Maryland better than Indiana? Probably not, but they're probably keeping that game within a touchdown or so. I think the Terps can cover this one.
DJ Carver: Screw you guys, Maryland will win and cover this. #blindhomerism
Thumpasaurus: Maryland wins a squeaker; Will LIkely plays a big part in why. Not so much a defensive struggle as an offensive dicktripping match.
Creighton M: Maryland Will Likely pull off the win, but not by a lot. (Yes i will be making that pun every week for the rest of the season)
Thomas Speth: So Indiana beat FIU 34-13. Now I think Indiana is better than Maryland. I also think Indiana played like crap and pulled away for a 3 score win anyway with a new starting QB. Maryland wins and covers but it isn't pretty. Maryland 30 FIU 14.
Aaron Yorke: Indiana covered against the Panthers, so the Terps can too! I love how FIU is hosting two B1G teams in a row like they're some kind of national powerhouse. I guess everyone loves going to Miami. UMD 34, FIU 14
#5 Michigan (-35.5) vs. Central Florida
SU: Michigan, 19-0 || ATS: Michigan, 15-4
MNW: Oh...so Harbaugh's not fucking around during these tuneup games, huh? Sorry, Citronauts. Michigan, 55-6.
CfB: And lo, the trail of teams being sacrificed to the Almighty Harbaugh continues. Wolverines roll.
AK: Have the words "Harbaugh" and "mercy" ever seemed compatible to you? Hell naw. Skunkbears cover.
JC: Michigan continues its difficult non-con with a rousing game against Central Florida. Way to get that C+ on schedule Wolverines.
Thump: Michigan wins and covers. Man, UCF got bad in a hurry. Remember their Fiesta Bowl win over Baylor? That was three years ago!
CM: Get ready for Harbaugh to pointlessly run up the score for the second week in a row.
TS: That's a huge spread again but I thought that about Hawaii too and Harbaugh proceeded to win by 60. UCF's better than Hawaii but the Harbaugh's smash another cupcake anyway. Michigan 52 UCF 6.
AY: I was one of those foolish enough to pick Hawaii to beat the spread last week. Not again. UCF 49, UCF 3
Minnesota (n/a) vs. Indiana State
SU: Minnesota, 19-0
MNW: A Google search told me that the rival of the Indiana State Sycamores football team is the Eastern Illinois Panthers football team. Leave your suggestions in the comments as to what their rivalry trophy should be. Minnesota, 34-13.
CfB: Try not to choke on your cupcake again, Goldy. It looks bad when you do. Minnesota wins.
AK: I see another trip on the struggle bus for Minnesota here, but no real threat of an upset.
JC: Minnesota beats Indiana State. By how many? Probably not much, but they still beat them.
DJ: Minnesota wins and comes no where near covering as Minnesota continues to make this uncomfortable.
CM: The Sycamores aren't very good even for an FCS team, but I think that while Minnesota obviously wins this one, it will be way closer than it needs to be because A) Tracy Claeys is not a good coach and B) Future First Round Draft Pick Mitch Leidner (FFRDPML) is not a good quarterback.
TS: Man it would be hilarious if Indiana State beat Minnesota. It would make my month. Minnesota isn't good, but if Purdue can beat a middling FCS team by 3 scores, Minnesota can by at least 2. Minnesota 34 Indiana State 17.
AY: The Beavers were probably a stiffer test. Minnesota 31, ISU 10
Penn State at Pitt (-6)
SU: PITT, 15-4 || ATS: Penn State, 9-8
MNW: Pitt is it. No, not that IT. Just it. Western Kitties get to the QB and take down the Central Kitties, 23-20.
CfB: I'm not exactly sure what it is, but whatever it is, it's Pitt. Panthers win, Nitty Kitties cover.
AK: Narddawg has his program's coming out party at Hypelin's expense. 10-point win for the Panthers.
JC: PSU looked mediocre for great stretches last week, but Pitt did too... Pitt played Villanova. I'll go with the Nittany Lions but hedge that I think it'll be close.
DJ: PITT IS IT.
Thump: Narduzzi's been waiting for this moment. Pitt wins going away and James Franklin's seat gets way hotter.
CM: PSU is going to get embarrassed. The lack of respect their fans show for a football program that is objectively in a better place right now is hilarious. Give me Pitt by double digits.
TS: Pitt is it. James Franklin is not. This would be a contender for rockiest rock fight if LSU/Wisconsin hadn't already sewn up that award this season. Pitt 21 Penn State 17.
AY: The Pitt offense didn't look too hot against Villanova last week. That's just the excuse I need to put the Lions over. PSU 20, Pitt 13
Rutgers (n/a) vs. Howard
SU: Rutgers, 19-0
MNW: Michigan State plays Furman because Eastern Michigan needs to not get throttled every week and because 'Bama are a bunch of fuckstains who won't leave the South anymore. Maryland and Rutgers play Howard because damnit, 1-11 sounds nicer than 0-12. Knights by three dozen.
CfB: It's time to wake up, Piscataway. Knights win.
AK: Rootjars is still here? Sure, give them a win, they need something to gnaw on.
JC: Howard is a bad football team. So is Rutgers. The question is, is Rutgers better than Howard? I think so. Let's just assume Washington is that good.
DJ: Rutgers is going to win this...and I hope they make Washington look like an amazing team by curb stomping Howard but forgive me for not believing.
CM: I really want to predict Howard with the upset here, but I think Rutgers will actually put together something resembling a football team this week.
TS: Since Zuzu was the only "writer" to pick Wisconsin to win, I won't make any jokes about this being Rutgers only win all year. Rutgers 38 Howard 10.
AY: The Bison were just destroyed by Maryland. RU 49, Howard 17
Purdue vs. Cincinnati (-6)
SU: Cincy, 17-2 || ATS: Cincy, 15-4
MNW: The Bearcats did not look convincing at all against UT-Martin. The Boilermakers...looked slightly more convincing against Eastern Kentucky. Kind of in that nice way where you're like, sure, you spelled the professor's name wrong and didn't bother to use footnotes LIKE I FUCKING TOLD YOU SEVEN TIMES, but you actually strung words together in coherent sentences and whoa is that a refutation of previous Marxist interpretations of--oh god you plagiarized this didn't you goddamnit now I have to fill out all this paperwork. Cincy, 28-13.
CfB: I have no idea if Cincinnati is good this year or not. I'm not sure if this game will tell me anything more about it. Bearcats win and cover.
AK: I'm tempted to believe in the Boiler breakout season and they've got some pieces I really like, but the whole just doesn't add up to the sum of the parts yet. Cincy hangs on for the cover.
JC: Purdue: Playing more difficult non-con than Michigan. Also, losing games at a faster clip than Michigan. This could be an ugly game to watch.
DJ: Week 1 was fun Purdue but now it's back to reality.
Thump: It's hard to say what you'll get with Trollin' Tommy Tuberville; I think Cincinnati will win, but not without making it as painfully close to a Purdue win as they possibly can.
CM: Purdue falls back to earth. I think they actually make Cincy look pretty bad, but I don't think they keep pace.
TS: There's no way Purdue loses by less than a touchdown here. They're just so... Not talented. I have no idea how good Cincinnati is but they're way better than Purdue Cincy 41 Purdue 28.
AY: The Boilers are overdue for a big win. Cincinnati was trailing Tennessee-Martin at the half last week, so I'm going to take that as a sign... that they will also trail at halftime in this game. Heck, they'll trail at the end as well! PU 27, UC 24
Nebraska (-24) vs. Wyoming
SU: Nebraska, 16-3 || ATS: Wyoming, 14-5
MNW: Craig Bohl is out for blood. Wyoming still doesn't have the talent or depth (10 underclassmen starting!) to do it when they're not a gajillion feet above sea level or whatever War Memorial Stadium actually is. This is also your reminder to go listen to the Wyoming Fight Song, the best goddamn fight song in all of college sports. UNL, 41-27.
CfB: After an emotional opening week, the Huskers get to settle in against Wyoming. Nebraska wins and covers.
AK: I do think Newby and Ozigbo will run wild here, but never underestimate the crazed frenzy of men who voluntarily live in Wyoming for any purpose other than resource extraction. Cowboys cover.
JC: I do not like 24 points and an angry Bohl. Let's say Nebraska wins but this game is a lot closer than anyone in Memorial feels good about.
DJ: Nebraska wins this but Wyoming is going to make this an ugly cover.
Thump: Nebraska allowed an unbelievable amount of yards to Wyoming when they last met. Craig Bohl is a better coach than Mike Riley, and he's going to fully Scott Tenorman the Huskers.
CM: Wyoming looked pretty good against Northern Illinois. Everyone seems to have forgotten just how terrible Nebraska was last year. Cowboys win, and we all get the first of many laughs at the Cornhuskers' expense this season
TS: Craig Bohl would probably sacrifice his firstborn child to beat Nebraska. Wyoming still isn't good enough to beat Nebraska, but this will be way closer than it should be. Nebraska 30 Wyoming 20.
AY: The Cowboys scored a lot of points in a dramatic win last week over Northern Illinois. Maybe they'll score enough to keep pace with Nebraska this week! Nebraska 38, Wyoming 24
#10 Wisconsin (-25) vs. Akron
SU: Wisconsin, 19-0 || ATS: Wisconsin, 12-7
MNW: So wisconsin is a thing again. Super. By the way, why did I have to look at Bart Houston on every fucking TV screen after the LSU-wisconsin game? Dude threw two picks and got bailed out by his defense and running backs. It's not even a matter of living up to every other nondescript white quarterback wisconsin has ever produced--you can't be that bad. badgers, 30-3.
CfB: RIP Zips. Wisconsin wins and covers.
AK: Wisco against MACrifice in Madison? Seen this script before and it's boring. Put Beth Mowins on it so nobody is tempted to watch.
JC: Wisconsin will not score enough points to beat Akron by 25.
Thump: Wisconsin wins big and barely covers, mostly due to defensive scores.
CM: I'm still not jumping on the Wisconsin bandwagon, but they'll handle Akron without any problems.
TS: Woooooo a MACrifice! Something tells me that if LSU can only manage one offensive touchdown Akron probably isn't going to score a lot. Corey Clement runs wild. Wisconsin 56 Akron 7.
AY: The Badgers scored 16 on LSU, so they'll lay 50 on Akron, right? Wrong. UW 31, Akron 10
Northwestern (n/a) vs. Illinois State
SU: Northwestern, 19-0
MNW: Tre Roberson is gone. Given that Pat Fitzgerald has likely woken up in cold sweats with visions of Zach Terrell running all over a "good" Northwestern defense, that's a very, very good thing. 'Cats by two dozen.
CfB: Northwestern takes the time to play some in-state competition. Perhaps this one won't be as feisty as last week. PurpleCats win.
AK: Should be a nice bounce back for the Meowtarps.
MNW: Northwestern bounces back with a rousing game against Illinois State... Man, this is a worse slate than last week.
Thump: Northwestern gets the kind of win that does nothing to lower the fans' level of concern about this team.
CM: Northwestern will win, but if there were a spread for this game I'd probably bet on the Redbirds to cover.
TS: Just because they got ROWROWROWROWROW'd by the soon to be MAC champs doesn't make them a bad football team. ISU's probably the best of the ISUs playing Big Ten teams this week, but they still won't be able to put points on the board Northwestern 28 Illinois State 10.
AY: The Cats kind of need this one, so they'll win. NU 24, ISU 13
#3 Ohio State (-28.5) vs. Tulsa
SU: Ohio State, 19-0 || ATS: Ohio State, 18-1
Stupid Aaron, ensuring I had to make another graphic.
MNW: See: Michigan. Tulsa gets a score or two, but still gets quadrupled up. Buckeyes, 55-17.
CfB: Another week, another Buckeye blowout. Ohio State wins and covers.
AK: Can you definitively tell me Tulsa is better than Bowling Green? Moreover, a team as young as OSU is going to snowball its momentum as the year goes on. This should be over by halftime.
JC: OSU slaughters Tulsa because OSU does that to teams like Tulsa. Sorry Tulsa bros.
DJ: OSU tries to break its own record it set last week for total offense at OSU and for Urban Meyer.
Thump: J.T. Barrett trolls my entire fantasy challenge league by putting up no touchdowns in a massive blowout.
CM: Buckeyes win and run up the score just because.
TS: The Buckeyes get caught looking ahead to Oklahoma, only win by 6 TDs. OSU 52 Tulsa 10.
AY: Tulsa should score a lot of points this year. Maybe they'll score enough to cover this number? OSU 42, Tulsa 20
Indiana (-17.5) vs. Ball State
SU: Indiana, 18-1 || ATS: Balls, 15-4
MNW: Ah, the coveted 3pm ESPNews slot. That's an awfully wide spread for a team that just earned the D back last week (/giggle). I kinda actually believe in Indiana this week, but I like typing "Balls" into our prediction spreadsheet way too much to not take the points. Hoosiers, 33-20.
CfB: (checks spread) (double checks spread) Seriously? That's great if it happens, but wow. IU wins, Cardinals cover.
JC: Indiana beats Ball State, but the Cyborg Cardinals cover.
DJ: Indiana wins, Ball State covers as Indiana shows that the first three quarters last week weren't a fluke.
Thump: Maryland poached Pete Lembo and his Lemborghini from Ball State, so a first-year coach is overwhelmed by Indiana, who covers.
CM: Indiana will get in a dogfight and pull out an ugly win.
TS: For some reason Ball State always plays Indiana tough. I don't think they beat them (again) though. Indiana's defense looked competent enough, and Ball State has a new coach. Indiana 38 Ball State 24.
AY: Instead of over-analyzing a Week 1 result again, I'm just going to hope that the Hoosiers keep it rolling. IU 35, BSU 13
Illinois vs. [REDACTED] (-10)
SU: [REDACTED], 16-3 || ATS: Illinois, 9-8
MNW: I think Thump was trying to talk me into some idea that the Illini could actually get to the quarterback and make it a long day for the Tar Heels. For some reason I didn't start drinking in the morning today, so I didn't believe him. North Carolina, 34-22.
CfB: After last week's demolishing of Murray State, Champaign's gonna get brought back to earth. Tar Heels win, Illini cover.
AK: I'll bite, Illinois, but only because UNC ain't so good as previously reckoned. Illini spring the upset.
JC: I see Illinois making a game of this, but I don't think they quite pull off the upset. Also, Thump loses his mind and writes 10,000 words on why the Tar Heels are the worst. One of those things will happen for sure. Not sure which is more likely.
DJ: Illinois looks good until half when UNC steps on the gas.
Thump: Screw it. Home underdog in prime time Illinois beats UNC and the defensive line causes havoc in the Tar Heel backfield, leading to a defensive score that turns the tide of the game towards the Orange and Blue. Lovie Smith is carried off the field.
CM: Illinois pulls off the "Tim Beckman hot potato" upset in addition to the football upset.
TS: UNC is far more talented than Ilinois. Maybe in a couple of years this is a win for Illinois, but not yet Lovie. UNC 34 Illinois 21.
AY: Gotta love the Heels opening up with two major-conference opponents. It would be awfully sad if they ended up losing both of them. Fortunately for the ACC, they pull this one out. UNC 20, Illinois 17
#16 Iowa (-15) vs. Iowa State
SU: Yellow Bird, 16-3 || ATS: Red Bird, 15-4
MNW: As I write this prediction on Tuesday morning, I look eagerly forward to all the Iowa articles denigrating the little brother they @totally don't care about or whatever.@ Come on, Matt Campbell. Do this for Scadenfreudeboners everywhere. Hawkeyes, 23-17.
Iowa wins, State covers.
AK: The score of this game is forever destined to be 16-10. This time, Iowa wins and forever proves that they totally don't care about ISU not even a little bit SO SHUT UP OK
JC: Iowa celebrates the Ferentz contract extension with a classic example of why bad incentives are bad. Iowa secures a win on a missed FG from the 13 where no one alters the course of the ball. It just sorta wills itself to falling. Classic 12-9 game in the brewing right here.
DJ: I'm sorely tempted to pick Iowa State to ruin the Ferentz extension because that would make sense.
Thump: Iowa comes as close as possible to blowing this game without actually doing it.
CM: Iowa State has exactly one player on their sideline good enough to play at Iowa (Lazard) and Desmond King will be matched up on him all day. It's a night game with the stadium stripes and it will be a hell of an atmosphere at Kinnick. ISU couldn't run on Northern Iowa, they certainly won't be able to run on the Hawkeyes. Lazard is a great player, but Lanning is garbage and won't be able to get him the ball. Iowa wins big on Saturday night.
TS: Now that Ferentz signed an extension, I have 100% faith they won't cover. I have little faith a team that got manhandled by UNI will win, but file this in the "I'll be happy to be wrong" folder. Iowa 23 Iowa State 14.
AY: I don't buy into the "rivalry games are always close" thing. Iowa 30, ISU 9
We'll have standings and more at the end of the non-conference schedule. In the meantime, let us know your picks in the comments and vote in the poll!