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The Meltdown Index: Jim Harbaugh’s Wolverines are worthless and weak

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Who’s more conservative: Brian Ferentz or Jimbo Fisher?

LPW + Pixelmatror + GIS

Welcome, connoisseurs of artisanally crafted schadenfreude! This week I am pleased to present a veritable feast of garments rendered, tables flipped over, tempers lost and much more!

Let’s dig in:

Michigan lost to Penn State 42-13

Let’s check in with our friends at MaizeAndBrew

Im sick of the highest paid coaching staff in the country

Regularly getting out coached.

Its starting to look like Harbaughs detractors were right, hes simply not a good X’s and O’s kind of coach.

Posted by dezznutz1001 on Oct 21, 2017 | 10:15 PM up reply rec (3) flag

Hey, if your donors want to waste a lot of money on an unstable lunatic who might (in the long run) not be better than Brady Hoke, then have at it!

This was an epic ass whooping.

Coaching Staff really underwhelming at this point.

Cute blitz packages, but a halfway decent base defense does the job vs PSU. Brown blitzed his way into several mismatches, while an alarming number of mental mistakes and discipline issues manifest.

This is an average team. Franklin won the B1G in his 3rd year and PSU looks every part the #2 team. Meanwhile Sparty has righted their ship and M will do what?

Posted by Narrowhaven on Oct 21, 2017 | 10:11 PM reply rec (3) flag

Lose to Rutgers again? Why wait? You can do it this week! Rutgers does have a 2 game win streak! AHAHAHAHAHA #PREPAREFORBUTTGERS

OTE, what are the odds Harbaugh will cry Josh Groban lyrics at a team dinner?

The games against Wisconsin and OSU are going to be brutal to watch this year.

Posted by BryanElias404 on Oct 21, 2017 | 10:17 PM reply rec flag

just chalk it up to experience for next year

Posted by joelblack7872 on Oct 21, 2017 | 10:21 PM up reply rec flag

We've great experience

With losing critical games. Been happening for a while now.

Posted by CZ2006 on Oct 21, 2017 | 10:22 PM up reply rec (3) flag

(in the voice of C. Montgomery Burns) Excellent. EXCELLENT!

M is a joke

Seriously – year 3 and we still have no QB? What about the OL with all these "top 10" recruiting classes? PSU is a better team, no doubt but to lay over in the first 10 mins of the game is unacceptable. Where was Don Brown’s vaunted D and the preparation? You didn’t think they’d run some direct snaps to the best RB in the country? WTF. This is horrid but I digress; my biggest complaint is 1-4 to our biggest rivals. To quote an article, "For comparison’s sake over a five-game start vs. Michigan State and Ohio State: Lloyd Carr started 4-1, Gary Moeller started 4-1, Bo Schembechler started 3-2. Only Rich Rodriguez (0-5) has started worse." This, IMO, is UNACCEPTABLE. I would be happier playing sub .500 ball with wins vs MSU and OSU. I’ll be honest, if we don’t beat OSU this year, I’m really going to start to worry about what Jim + staff is getting paid to do. GOBLUE.

Posted by jokok on Oct 23, 2017 | 11:39 AM reply rec flag\

Facts are uncomfortable things. Ouch!

Iowa lost to Northwestern 17-10

PUNTING IS WINNING!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

/breathes

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

Let’s check in with our friends on /r/cfb

1st & 10 — Screen pass for -4 yards

2nd & 14 —Run it up the gut for -3 yards

3rd & 17 — Run it up the gut with the quarterback for 2 yards

Brian, what the fuck is this shit?

Iowa Hawkeyes / Team Meteor iguanoman_ 343 points 2 days ago Permalink

Our future

Iowa Hawkeyes / Floyd of Rosedale mustardtiger86 175 points 2 days ago Permalink

Cannot wait for him to burn this program to the ground when he becomes HC.

Iowa Hawkeyes mpejkrm 79 points 2 days ago Permalink

Nah he's going to fumble around for three years, but in the fourth win 10 games in the regular season losing to Iowa State and Northwestern, before winning the Big Ten championship game on a last second missed field goal, followed by being blown out in the Rose Bowl by a PAC-12 team.

Stanford Cardinal / /r/CFB Contributor Aeschylus_ 57 points 2 days ago Permalink

10 wins? Give him a contract through 2040!

Iowa Hawkeyes / Michigan Wolverines 34932843290183490183 29 points 2 days ago Permalink

Sounds like perfectly normal behavior in Iowa City.

This isn’t schadenfreude, but let’s gaze into the future of Iowa football courtesy of a preview of last week’s matchup from the wittiest college football blog (Northwestern) in the land, Bring Your Champions They’re Our Meat!

Iowa lost CJ Beathard and talismanic cornerback Desmond King. They still have their star linebacker, the comic book-named Josey Jewell. And they still have Kirk Ferentz, their Forever Coach. Ferentz has solidified his power by naming his eldest son Brian to the role of offensive coordinator. He will supplement his coaching staff with other Ferentz from throughout the Spanish and Low Countries branches of the Ferentz family until college football is, like Europe in the early twentieth century, essentially a deteriorating mass of branches of the Ferentz weakened by generations of inbreeding until they all declare war on each other.

Let’s get back to schadenfreude and check in with our friends at BlackHeartGoldPants

Posted by chitownhawkeye on Oct 21, 2017 | 2:25 PM reply rec (19) flag

My sentiments exactly.

This was an embarrassing

yet thoroughly unsurprising game.

Expected an ugly game because this Iowa-jNW after all. Yet that didn’t stop it from being incredibly frustrating. Just shit play-calls on offense. A weakening defense. Shit special teams at times. We probably could have blown this game wide open if we had scored TDs on those first two drives, but we left the door fucking wide open for jNW to do their usual jNW things.

We might make a bowl this year, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we already won all our games for the year. Only hope is that Purdue shit the bed against Rutgers, and Minnesota and Nebraska have shown moments of ineptitude themselves.

Posted by P0rtal on Oct 21, 2017 | 2:32 PM reply rec flag

If you put Purdue, Minnesota, Nebraska and Rutgers in the same room the result would be horrifying. Season with a bit of Maryland Old Bay.

Wadley just ran up the middle of the locker room

And lost three yards. Again.

Posted by jaywoo on Oct 21, 2017 | 3:13 PM reply rec (22) flag

Classic Brian Ferentz coaching!

Can't believe isu has a better overall record than us ....

Jeez… Gonna go sandblast my brain

Posted by RhombusJersey on Oct 21, 2017 | 2:19 PM reply rec flag

I recommend drinking a bottle of Malört instead! Isn’t it just the thing to make the losses go down, right, Hawkeye Elvis?

I realize we aren't gonna win ever game.... but good Lord

…we look inept…

You have coaches that ALL they do is work on the offensive side of the ball… that’s it… nothing else.

..and this @$×#show was the best we could trot out at jnw high school field!? Unbelievable

Posted by RhombusJersey on Oct 21, 2017 | 2:31 PM reply rec (3) flag

UNC was nuked by Virginia Tech 59-7

Let’s check in with our friends at TarHeelBlog

i am done....

whoever is last out please turn out the lights

Posted by 86wagstaff on Oct 21, 2017 | 3:13 PM reply rec flag

Yeah, some of us wish the NCAA had done that to your athletics department after the AFAM scandal.

At this point....

Fedora should call bunting or torbush for advice. Heck… Is crum alive and available.

Posted by white ghost on Oct 21, 2017 | 4:46 PM reply rec flag

Wow.

I keep trying to tell you guys that Fedora's enslavement...

….to his beloved "proven offensive system" is part of the reason behind this precipitous drop off of the cliff. The idiot believes it’s just plug and play…and frankly, defenses have largely caught up to the finesse, spread offenses that became so en vogue in the middle 2000s thru mid-2010s. He has so relied strictly on his scripted system for so long that he has ZERO ability (or willingness) to adjust. How many times does QB Draw have to lose 3-4 yards before you quit calling it? Never, if it’s the next call set up in the script or the next counter to the last play called, if you are Fedora. CFB has evolved; big time DLines and winning at the LOS is, and always has been, the ultimate answer to any gimmick "system", such as the Fed Spread. CFB ALWAYS evolves back to LOS dominance in the face of gimmickry, and always will. The question is, will UNC evolve….and under Fed, the answer is a resounding NO.

Posted by LowCountryHeel on Oct 21, 2017 | 9:49 PM reply rec flag

HAHA.

Kentucky lost to Mississippi State 47-5

Let’s check in with our friends at A Sea of Blue

A complete meltdown

from the coaching staff on down.

I wouldn’t be surprised if we lost the rest of our games

Posted by Bluehound on Oct 21, 2017 | 7:24 PM

I would

Tennessee and Louisville are in full on dumpster fire mode. Vandy is still Vandy. Ole Miss isn’t in stellar shape itself. Those are all winnable.

If they’re going to lose I’d rather them LOSE so that there is no doubt in any player’s mind come Monday that the BS they did today will work.

Posted by Wildcat in Enemy Territory on Oct 21, 2017 | 8:36 PM

Oregon lost to UCLA 31-14

Let’s check in with our friend at Addicted to Quack

I may have to stop watching games until Herbert’s back or until the Civil War.

This isn’t fun.

Posted by joshuaadavidd on Oct 21, 2017 | 5:35 PM reply rec flag

I NEED TO STOP WATCHING GAMES SOBER.

Posted by ORbludvl on Oct 21, 2017 | 5:36 PM up reply rec (3) flag

Pro tip:

Once you sober up

1. you remember they lost and it sucks

2. you’re hung over

Posted by daisyduck on Oct 21, 2017 | 5:40 PM up reply rec flag

Yeah, I’m not sure alcohol will help in this case.

I THINK SOME MEXICAN FOOD AND TEQUILA MIGHT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

Posted by daisyduck on Oct 21, 2017 | 5:44 PM reply rec (4) flag

Sounds good

Posted by JIDuck97 on Oct 21, 2017 | 5:45 PM up reply rec flag

There is a desperate dearth of decent Mexican in Basel.

There was a good place, for like six months, but someone bought it and turned it into a bar and the food went to crap.

I am still angry about this.

Posted by cugeno on Oct 21, 2017 | 5:47 PM up reply rec flag

WELL AFTER WATCHING THIS EXHIBITION OF SKILL & STRENGTH, I FEEL A ZEST FOR LIFE. WHAT WONDERS DOES THE REST OF THE DAY HOLD

Posted by LosPatos on Oct 21, 2017 | 6:11 PM reply rec (3) flag

U$C lost to Notre Dame 49-14

Let’s check in with USCFootball.com

Sam Darnold is the biggest collapse in CFB history.

There is no player with so much raw talent, coming off such a successful season, coming back with so much hype that has crashed and burned as badly as Darnold. Darnold will go down in history as the biggest joke in SC history. ucla is laughing their @$$es off. Darnold will be their punch line for years to come. so so sad.

mikeym820 Oct 21, 8:02 PM

Yeah, he might want to look at going to the NFL soon....

I was at the game/ we were manhandled tonight at the line of scrimmage. This staff is delusional

MDubSC Oct 22, 12:46 AM

HAHAHAHA.

I can practice golf all the time and it won't help because I don't know what I'm doing. Damn I feel sorry for these players. They actually thought they had selected a top program where the coaches will coach them up. What a waste of talent.

Oct 22, 1:20 TrojanAZMan

Florida State lost to Louisville 31-28

Let’s check in with Tomahawk Nation

What was that???

What kind of ridiculous play was Jimbo trying to execute with is 18 year old QB in the red zone at the end of the fourth quarter? Fumbled? wtf? He is not doing much to quell all the negative commentary surrounding his play calling. For the love of God, just run up the middle and run down the clock, kick the field goal and WIN the game. This is so bad.

Posted by skibloke on Oct 21, 2017 | 2:14 PM reply rec (28) flag

Sounds like Bert Bielema not running the ball to win the Rose Bowl against TCU

Jimbo is the biggest impediment to our team future success

The more I watch these games the more I cannot help but feel that Jimbo is the reason why we have not made the playoffs despite our preseason rankings. Jimbo’s conservative nature yields asinine play calling and staff selection.

Nothing else can be said that hasn’t already been said for YEARS!

Posted by Legal_Seminole on Oct 21, 2017 | 2:16 PM reply rec (6) flag

Conservative nature? Hmm, how about you send your OC to Iowa City and they send Brian Ferentz down there?

//dodges beer bottles and sharp objects thrown from my Iowa colleagues

Sad

Posted by kilgoretroutlive on Oct 21, 2017 | 2:17 PM reply rec (25) flag

Very eloquently put.

I feel like 2010 Mack Brown is coaching this team.

Posted by MileHighNole on Oct 21, 2017 | 2:21 PM reply rec (2) flag

I bet even Butch Jones thinks we’re poorly coached.

Posted by MileHighNole on Oct 21, 2017 | 2:31 PM up reply rec (13) flag

Look in the mirror, Jimbo.

Do you see 2010 Mack Brown, or Butch Jones anytime?

You’ve been outcached by Saban (foreseeable), Doeren (absurd), Richt (very close in many ways), and Petrino (a despicable person but a clever coach). Only Saban had superior talent.

How do you plan to fix your process?

Posted by madridbend on Oct 21, 2017 | 2:56 PM up reply rec (4) flag

Ouch!

Poll

Who had the worst loss this week?

This poll is closed

  • 39%
    Michigan
    (203 votes)
  • 9%
    Iowa
    (48 votes)
  • 5%
    UNC
    (29 votes)
  • 1%
    Kentucky
    (10 votes)
  • 1%
    Oregon
    (8 votes)
  • 33%
    U$C
    (171 votes)
  • 3%
    Florida State
    (20 votes)
  • 4%
    Other (add in comments)
    (22 votes)
511 votes total Vote Now