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Big Ten Football Power Poll, Week 9: Quotes from Full Metal Jacket

Some of the finest quotes from Kubrick’s Vietnam masterpiece

It’s Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubrick time! First of all, Kubrick is the GOAT. Second of all, Northwestern! Finally, if you haven’t seen this movie, I would encourage you to watch it this weekend, or sometime very soon. The dark humor, the nuance of war, R. Lee Ermey, legendary basic training scenes...Possibly the best war movie ever made.

purp rising

1. Ohio State Buckeyes

Private Joker: Sir, NEGATIVE, sir! Sir, the private believes any answer he gives will be wrong and the Senior Drill Instructor will only beat him harder if he reverses himself, SIR!

The bucks made quite a stand themselves this week, and just like Private Joker was bumped to Squad Leader, the Buckeyes are now favored to be the Big Ten’s entry into the CFB Playoff.

2. Penn State Nittany Lions

Private Cowboy (to Pyle): Remember, this was all just a bad dream!

Penn State is coming into East Lansing next week, which hasn’t been an easy place to play, so they need to shrug off the tough loss to OSU.

3. Wisconsin Badgers

Private Joker [narrating]: Parris Island, South Carolina. The Marine Corps Training Depot. An eight-week college for the phony tough and the crazy brave.

“The Big Ten West, Big Ten Conference. The flattest, most Lutheran part of the Midwest. Wisconsin, plus a six-team collection of solid MAC-level programs.”

4. Michigan Wolverines

Private Eightball: Now you might not believe it, but under fire Animal Mother is one of the... finest human beings in the world. All he needs is somebody to throw hand grenades at him the rest of his life.

Michigan’s struggles were so magnified on Saturday, with a decent amount of the population wondering whether Rutgers might knock off an uninspired Michigan team. The pressure was bearing down on this Michigan program and apparently pressed on Jim Harbaugh so hard that he finally put in Brandon Peters, who was 437% improved over the John O’Korn experience and looked much more comfortable in the pocket.

5. Michigan State Spartans

(Whole squad is leaving the ruins, singing Mickey Mouse theme song)

Yeah, MSU lost a gut-wrenching game against Northwestern, but it’s looking like an 8 win season in East Lansing, which is 2-4 more wins than most predictors believed.

6. Northwestern Wildcats

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle, you are definitely born again hard! Hell, I may even allow you to serve as a rifleman in my beloved Corps.

Northwestern, left for dead, thought to be playing uninspired football…has won three games in a row? Huh? With four super winnable games to finish the season? Northwestern, are you definitely born again as a 9 win team???

7. Iowa Hawkeyes

Colonel: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?

The duality of fan, for our Iowa friends: Although Iowa does enjoy winning rock-throwing fights, they recognize the mediocrity needs to eventually end, although with Ferentz at the helm, they question whether that’s even possible.

8. Maryland Terrapins

Private Joker: Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?

I love the silence right after Joker imprudently drops this quote, and you can just feel the explosion, the pain coming…Sort of like playing Michigan, MSU, and Penn State to finish off the season, with your 12th string quarterback.

9. Nebraska Cornhuskers

Private Joker: The dead know only one thing: it is better to be alive.

Survive and advance Cornhuskers, survive the Harboring and advance…

10. Purdue Boilermakers

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You're not a writer. You're a killer!

Private Joker: A killer, yes, sir!

Purdue needs to figure out who they are – Are the Boilers a top 6 team in this conference? Or is this just a rebuilding year? Be a killer and beat Illinois!

11. Minnesota Golden Gophers

Lt. Lockhart [reading]: ... we have a new directive from M.A.F. on this. In the future, in place of "search and destroy," substitute the phrase "sweep and clear." Got it?”

Say it with me until you believe it, this is a rebuilding year, this is a rebuilding year.

12. Indiana Hoosiers

Private Joker: Sir, it is the private's duty to inform the senior drill instructor that Private Pyle has a full magazine that is locked and loaded, Sir!

Indiana was always looking down the barrel of a dangerous enemy this year, that enemy being its toughest-in-the-Big Ten schedule…That said, picking up stupid, heart-wrenching losses to Maryland is only going to drive our Indiana writer more crazy.

13. Rutgers Scarlet Knights

Private Joker [narrating]: Graduation is only a few days away, and the recruits of Platoon 3092 are salty. They are ready to eat their own guts and ask for seconds. The drill instructors are proud to see that we are growing beyond their control. The Marine Corps does not want robots. The Marine Corps wants killers. The Marine Corps wants to build indestructible men, men without fear.

Rutgers, you know, the team with two Big Ten conference wins, played Michigan very tough this year. Was 2017 basic training for a more experienced, successful Rutgers season in 2018? ARE THEY THE SLEEPING GI-mnw cuts the mic off

14. Illinois Fighting Illini

(The entire opening WELCOME TO TRAINING with R. Lee Ermey crushing the poor recruits’ souls.)

Be #14 and you deserve a string of vicious barbs. This is a family site so if you haven’t watched this opening segment of FMJ, go, enjoy. It’s brilliant acting and brilliant film-making.