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SMCD: The Akrons Fall

Ohio State v Iowa Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images

Ten B1G Things

  1. Outcoached, outplayed, outhustled, out-Ferentzed.
  2. OSU doesn’t always get de-pantsed—but when they do, 31 points is a good margin to bank on.
  3. Hope y’all like Kirk. He’s yours until the earth is swallowed by the sun.
  4. I saved a lot of money on energy last night by leaving the laptop open and letting all the B1G-is-dead/JT Barrett hot takes keep the house warm.
  5. Sparty is Ayrton Senna.
  6. Saquon Barkley’s Heisman hype train is still on a weather delay.
  7. Tom Allen screaming “That’s bullcrap!” into his headset is peak Midwest.
  8. Wisconsin just locked down their one win in the state of Indiana for 2017.
  9. Jesus, seriously, guys...Iowa?
  10. Even though I write this every week, I sometimes forget Illinois is still in the Big Ten.
  11. I suppose most of their opponents feel the same way.
  12. To live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in the suffering. So work with that, Maryland.
  13. The gales of November came early, and will surely blow a dozen previously absent, chest-thumping Iowa fans into the comments section this morning.
  14. It’s quite possible the B1G has solved that “getting shut out in playoff games” problem the Shawn Eichorst way..

The Rundown

Ohio State at Iowa | If you build it, Ohio State will come get demolished 55-24

There’s nothing to say but wow. Iowa apparently struggled against Minnesota last week because they spent two weeks looking at OSU. The gambit paid off. This game couldn’t have been uglier for the Buckeyes. Barrett was a complete disaster, on the heels of his greatest triumph. Hangovers from big wins are real, and Barrett spent the whole game puking up a week’s worth of praise. Nate Stanley played like his life depended on it, and it’s doubtful you’ll ever see another night out him like that. That’s how goddam good he was. At least all those ailing kiddos got a big friendly wave and the chance to see their team steamroll a Buckeye squad that refused to even defend itself against the pummeling.

Stewmonkey: Wow. I've been watching Iowa football all my life and I'm not sure I've ever seen them play like that. They just took OSU to the woodshed. I think that may be the single best game I've ever seen any Iowa football team play. Nate Stanley did an amazing Big Ben impression. Josh Jackson just intercepted another pass (and may be the best CB in the country). The run game worked. The OL was absolutely fantastic. Akrum Wadley juking dudes out of their jockstraps. The tight ends were dominant. Iowa just kicked OSU's ass. The worst loss of Urban's career. The 5th most points ever given up by OSU. Get fucked, Ohio State. Get fucked, Urban Meyer.

Creighton: I don't have the words to express the emotions I felt watching that game. At several points I had tears in my eyes and couldn't do anything but laugh. I was present the last time Iowa beat Ohio State, but that was the second worst team Ohio State has fielded in my lifetime facing an Iowa squad that would finish 10-2 with a win over LSU in the Citrus Bowl. I think I could live a hundred lifetimes and never see Iowa take the Buckeyes behind the woodshed like that ever again, least of all a struggling Iowa team vs a 3rd ranked Buckeyes.

Iowa fans are no strangers to watching big upsets, but this was different. Weird different. This wasn't a dirty, blow for blow dogfight of a game with an exciting finish. This was complete domination, something Iowa rarely does even against mid-tier MAC teams, from start to finish. Urban Meyer has only lost 3 other conference games in his 6 seasons at Ohio State by a combined 16 points, and one of those was in the conference championship. Last night he lost by 31. To call that game an "upset" is to misunderstand exactly how brain-meltingly crazy it was.

I don't know what Brian Ferentz did differently yesterday, but I hope he can bottle it. The playcalling was smarter and more aggressive and the execution was nearly flawless, but I find it hard to believe that that's the difference between scoring 10 points against Northwestern and 55 against Ohio State. I'll try to rationalize it later, right now I'm still so excited that my extremities are numb. Go Hawks.

GF3: Congrats to the Hawkeyes. I think this was as much a story of OSU getting out-coached as anything. OSU had the best runner on the field in J.K. Dobbins (sorry, Wadley isn’t anything that special and will he ever graduate?) and Dobbins got...6 carries. Six fucking carries. But Barrett ran 14 times. That’s not how you win football games, guys.

PSU at MSU | MSU hands PSU second loss in a row, 27-24

Sparty has perfected the art of racing in the rain, to the extent that racing is a last-second field goal to cap a drive sustained by a boneheaded roughing of Lewerke. After being delayed for 40 days and 40 nights, Sparty held Barkley to only 63 yards—a mere 15 more than last week—and picked McSorely three times enroute to their characteristic field goal victory. Joe Moorhead seemed to be fresh out of the standard fare for this showdown, and instead had their Heisman hopeful RB lobbing a trick pop pass in the first half to keep the ball in PSU hands. We must now all face the prospect of a world where Michigan State is a viable contender for a trip to Indy.

Anderson Kooperski: My greatest fears did not materialize, MSU did not disregard last week's lessons and return to fruitlessly smashing its running backs against a superior front. Rather, they put the game in the hands of their best offensive players - Brian Lewerke and his crew of playmaking receivers. Felton Davis III and company shredded Penn State's back end, and MSU attempted 56 passes versus 24 runs, inclusive of sacks - this ain't your 2013 MSU offense.

The defense...continues to be vulnerable to the big play more than you'd like, but that's the cost of shutting down the run. And, aside from a couple of nice catches, Barkley was an utter non-factor aside from commanding the attention he did.

Finally, after pinging two off the uprights last week, Matt "McLovin" Coghlin connected on two 4th quarter field goals to tie and win the game in blustery weather. Solid game all around, notwithstanding the full game length of delay time in the second quarter. Now, a much less intimidating visit to Ohio State awaits.

GF3: Yes, good, believe that OSU will play like that against MSU. Definitely a smart bet.

A-A-Ron Yorke: Well, I was right about one thing. Penn State was unable to run the ball against Michigan State's defense. Trace McSorley got the offense going through the air, but he also threw three interceptions, including one with the score tied in the fourth quarter. On defense, the Lions were only a little better against the pass than they were last week against Ohio State, and it's clear that both the pass rush and the secondary are areas in need of improvement as most of the fan base looks forward to next season.

Still, this was a game that could have been won if DeAndre Thompkins catches a pretty good ball by McSorley on 4th-and-3 or if Penn State avoids the third-down roughing the passer penalty that put Michigan State in position for the game-winning field goal. It's too bad the team used up all its breaks in a losing effort at Columbus.

Wisconsin at Indiana | Badgers extend Indiana’s misery 45-17

Another week, another set of ridiculous stats from Jonathan Taylor (183 yds), alongside a set of Hornibrook stats that make you wonder whether he’s real QB or a surplus statue from a Frisch’s Big Boy. Predictably, Lagow was worse. Wisconsin rolls onward toward their date with reality in Indy—but now Iowa seems to think they deserve a spot in that conversation, too.

Candystripes: I mean, everyone who's been paying attention to Indiana this year and/or IU-Wisconsin games for the last decade or so knew this was coming. The only disappointing thing is that the Badgers dropped 45 points. joeybosashrug.emoji

Illinois at Purdue ] Blech...

You didn’t watch it. I didn’t watch it. It was bad and we didn’t miss anything. Purdue won 29-10 because duh. It’s Illinois.


They got a name for the winners in the world

I want a name when I lose

They call Alabama the crimson tide

Call me Orange and Blues

Northwestern at Nebraska | Cats outlast corn 31-24 in OT

The right to use NU falls to Northwestern once again (which it always should have because it’s not Nebraska University) as the Cats upend the Huskers in overtime. Clayton Thorson—like alcohol—is the cause of, and solution to, all of NU’s problems. At 19/35 with 2 INTs, he both propelled Northwestern and kept them in the game while also single-handedly killing drives. But when his team needed him most, he punched the ball in from a yard out to set up the overtime victory. Now we need a new name for Nebraska (UN-LOL leaps to mind).

Dead_Read: Nebraska isn't good at running. Nebraska isn't great at passing. Nebraska doesn't stop the run. Nebraska's defensive backs are unwilling to tackle. The players are totally unaware of game situations. Other than these things, we have a serviceable football team. Good game Cats, fairly won.

LPW: HOLY SHIT! Roll damn cats! Three OT games in a row. Wow. If anyone told me earlier this year that Northwestern would win three OT games in a row I'd say you're crazy. Northwestern-Nebraska has to be the most exciting rivalry since the Big Ten expanded. Justin Jackson the BALL CARRIER ran for 154 yards, Jeremy Larkin ran for 69 yards, and Tanner Lee was oh so helpful with three turnovers. Kyle Querio could've won this game in regulation, but as multiple teams are learning, you don't want to play us in overtime.

MNW: What the fuck.

No, honestly. What the fuck. Tonight Mountain Tiger (my gracious host for this game -- thanks, MT!) compared this year to bizarro 2013, and... I'm inclined to agree. Clayton Thorson was awful, but the defense came up with the goods at the right time. Shout-out to Samdup Miller and Joe Gaziano for getting pressure on the erratic Tanner Lee at the right times. I really thought that with the jet sweeps and Devine Ozigbo, the Huskers had this.

I have learned that 2017 is not the Huskers' year. Sorry, guys.

Maryland at Rutgers | Maryland sacrifices virgin QB, dies 31-24 anyway

Another game, another incapacitated Maryland QB. That job has to be statistically more dangerous than crab fishing or vertical shaft mining at this point. After taking a big hit, Bortenschlager left the game and put victory in the hands of the fourth-string walk-on Ryan Brand. He performed exactly as well as you might think a backup would fare against Rutgers. Nonetheless, Maryland the lead until the wheels came off the wagon in final stanza. Rutgers put up 14 points in the fourth quarter to seize not only the win, but the ridiculous hypothetical notion of a bowl appearance. God love ‘em for trying so hard.

Zuzu: I am so so so happy. If there was a game I'd have to pick as the one I REALLY wanted to win, it would definitely be Maryland. Rutgers is officially NOT the basement of the Big Ten and not even the basement of the Big Ten East. I just also love how this season for RU is shutting up so many of the "lol, it's just Rutgers people." Mhm. "Just Rutgers (buttgers, rutger, what have you)" just beat you.

Minnesota at Michigan | Wolverines gnaw on Gopher carcass 33-10

Do they even bother bringing the jug to this game? I bet there’s an impressive dust-less circle on the At some point this season PJ Fleck probably figured out that the B1G West is the Super-MAC and that his Regular-MAC tactics won’t work here. Rod Smith ran for 38 yards. Karan Higdon ran for 200 yards. Both QBs were pathetic in the passing game. That’s your game summary right there.

WSR: That was frustrating. We allowed 9 running plays of over 10 yards, including 3 TDs over 60 yards. Yikes. And whatever that was that we decided was "play calling" just didn't work after halftime.

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