Greetings, those who dare to enter. Welcome to the post-finals week of the Stock Report. Most teams only played one game last week, leaving us with wild swings and plenty of irrational trends. There were a few surprises, a couple of stinkers (looks at Maryland, /scoffs), and some demons exorcised. Heading into the holiday break, there are some good teams, and some very naughty, flopping teams. Let’s see who should prepare for a lump of coal.
Purdue Boilermakers – The Boilers finally rid themselves of the Butler bug this past weekend and looked fairly good in the process. The defense was forcing turnovers and limited the open looks and the offense, outside of a 5-minute turnover frenzy that almost let the Bulldogs (Trip is the best mascot in College Basketball, BTW) back into the game, played solid with all 5 starters finishing in double figures.
Indiana Hoosiers – Well, well, well, what have we here? Indiana walks into Conseco, finishes a furious comeback to force overtime, and gets the win over (Fuck) Notre Dame in the extra stanza. On a separate note, complaints about other fans booing calls against their team constantly will no longer be acknowledged as IU fans proved to be no better than anyone el--BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Rutgers Scarlet Knights – In what must have been the equivalent of an NCAA bid to Rutgers, they knocked off a ranked Seton Hall at home. For this, you get the buy rating for the week. Now, win a game or two away from the RAC and I might start thinking you’re on the mend.
Michigan Wolverines – A bit of a grinder in Texas, but you got the win. Also blew out a Detroit team as you should have. Well done.
Northwestern Wildcats – Congrats Northwestern, not only did you take on a full slate of games this week (after taking the previous week off), you won all three. Crushing Chicago Stater, Valpo, and edging DePaul in a nailbiter (never knew free throw defense was a thing (9/24, mah gawd, Blue Demons)).
Michigan State Spartans – If one didn’t watch the game (and let’s face it, I didn’t watch the game), the final score against Oakland probably wouldn’t cause much concern, but reading the recaps and looking at the gameflow, this one was in doubt late into the second half. Credit Sparty for finishing on a neutral court. But damn, Sparty’s on the Strugglebus.
Nebraska Cornhuskers – Oh, Nebraska. I was pulling for you. Most of the country was pulling for you. And then, that shot happened. Not sure what Coach Miles was thinking, not calling a timeout to setup a play and only needing a two-pointer for the win. You overperformed and thus, will not be sold this week, but damn.
Wisconsin Badgers – Congrats on beating a team that knocked Purdue off in the Bahamas. You’re here because it took a flop (literally) to get you to the line to get the win.
Beat up on teams they should. Thus, welcome to a sugarplum coma:
Maryland Terrapins – Yeah, I’m gonna knock you some more. I’m bracing for all the blah blah excuses about three starters not playing in this game. But guess what? I don’t give a damn and neither would an investor. You let a D-III team hang around for way too damn long and that gets you a ‘Sell’ rating this week.
Illinois Fighting Illini – Oh, Illinois. Poor, poor, Illinois. What are we to do with you? Go get some Arby’s.
Took the week off: