Last week, I was in Germany for work. A Stock Report was ready to go before I got on a plane to Munich, but it didn’t get posted. My bad. Probably for the best as the Thanksgiving tournament results were not pretty. This past week was the stellar B1G/ACC Challenge. And the results were like something that I hacked out of my lungs now that I’m back home. Phlegmy and discolored.
This makes the stock report much easier to write. If you didn’t win your matchup, you’re not up. Oh, and High Emperor Delany decided that we should follow up that shitshow by opening conference play. Without further ado, let’s dive in.
Michigan State Spartans – Sparty went on quite a roll.Taking out two Top 10 teams since we last chatted. Great wins over the University of Nobody Cares and fuck Notre Dame has Izzo and Co. rocking. They also notched a conference W over Nebraska, limiting the Huskers to 27% from the field. Yeah, the B1G is MSU’s to lose.
Purdue Boilermakers –The Boilers had themselves a week, with a good win over Louisville, a tough road win in Maryland, and defending home court against Northwestern. They’ve positioned themselves nicely heading into Finals Week/Winter Break
Nebraska Cornhuskers –Congrats, Huskers. You, like Sparty and Pete, did what needed to be done and beat Boston College. I wish I could put you in the Stock Up category but unfortunately, you ran into a green and white buzzsaw.
Penn State Nittany Lions – A victim of a bad matchup and being on the road, you lost to NC State. That hurts. Fortunately, you rebounded and won in Iowa for the first time since 2001. Not bad. Now Bucky comes calling.
Minnesota Golden Gophers – Okay, you took care of Rutgers. Unfortunately, you couldn’t get that statement win over Miami. Hard to dock you given Miami’s talent, but you’re on my shitlist because I’m jetlagged and pissed at the conference.
Michigan Wolverines – It doesn’t seem fair that you have to go to UNC for the Challenge. Especially with them coming off a loss to MSU. But, when you let them shoot almost 55% from the field, well, bad things happen. You get the consolation of defending home court and taking care of Indiana.
Ohio State Buckeyes – I’m truly confused at this point. Holtmann’s old team got revenge by beating the Buckeyes in OT, then you lose to Clemson by giving up a 15-4 run down the stretch. Not a good way to start off the week. Then, you walk into the Kohl Center and torch Wisconsin by 25? What did they put in your Gatorade?
Northwestern Wildcats – Oh, Northwestern.It’s just not going as planned, is it? A victim of a buzzer beater at GT, needing overtime to beat Illinois, and then dropping a slog of a game at Purdue gets you dropped from the portfolio. Also, Chris Collins is a whiny little imp. Maybe try doubling Haas. Just a thought.
Maryland Terrapins – I’m not going to sugar coat this one, Terps fans. That was not a good week. A very close loss to Syracuse, followed by a close loss at home to Purdue, followed by needing overtime to dispatch Illinois. There’s too much talent on this team and its clear where your hatred needs directed toward.
Rutgers Scarlet Knights – There’s not much to say here. You finally played some teams with a pulse and got beat. Time marches on. Enjoy Michigan State Tuesday night.
Iowa Hawkeyes – Is Fran on the hot seat yet? Getting boatraced at Virginia Tech and then losing at home to PSU for the first time since 2001 is not good, Iowa. Not good at all.
Indiana Hoosiers – I will chock the B1G/ACC Challenge up to someone being pissed at you. Having to take on Duke when you’re rebuilding is just mean. Then you got the privilege to go to Michigan and take another beating. As a Boilermaker, I do enjoy watching IU get pummeled into the ground, but I do take a little bit of pity upon you. Just a little.
Illinois Fighting Illini – Illinois showed some fight this past week. However, it resulted in no wins. Kind of a similar story as Rutgers, played teams with pulses, got beat. Welcome to the midseason.
Wisconsin Badgers – My, how the mighty have fallen. The Virigina roadie went about as well as expected with a whopping 37 points of offensive output. Then, Ohio State came calling. Damn, are you guys okay down there?