GREETINGS LOYAL SUBJECTS OF THE EMPIRE.
WE NEED TO TALK.
There is only one more football game before we’re all flung into the abyss.
The New England Patriots will take on the Atlanta Falcons in Houston for the NFL title in Super Bowl 51. One last chance to take in football until seven months of frigid wilderness. Let’s talk it out.
B1G Players in the Super Bowl
Illinois: New England G Ted Karras
Indiana: Atlanta RB Tevin Coleman
Iowa: Atlanta DT Jonathan Babineaux
Maryland: New England DT Joe Villano
Michigan: New England QB Tom Brady, DL Allan Branch
Michigan State: None
Minnesota: Atlanta LB De’Vondre Campbell, DT Ra’Shede Hageman
Nebraska: New England DT Vincent Valentine
Northwestern: None
Ohio State: New England DB Nate Ebner
Penn State: None
Purdue: Atlanta S Ricardo Allen, New England LB Rob Ninkovich
Rutgers: Atlanta WR Mohammed Sanu, New England DB Duron Harmon, DB Devin McCourty, CB Logan Ryan
Wisconsin: New England RB James White
Total: 17
Game Info: 6:30ET on FOX
Thumpasaurus Drinking Game
Drink one when the following is mentioned:
-A Big Ten player
-Deflating/Ballghazi
-Rob Gronkowski
-Dirty Bird
-24: Legacy
Drink one when a white player on the Patriots is described with typical words such as “gritty,” “deceptively fast,” “high football IQ guy,” “Wes Welker type” or anything similar
Waterfall during a Joe Buck “it iiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..........”
Drink two for:
-Lacrosse
-Aaron Rodgers
-Donald Trump
-An ad actually makes you laugh out loud
-A missed extra point
Finish your drink for:
-Any mention of Brett Favre
-A safety
-Any current or former Big Ten head coach is mentioned
-Profanity on live TV, whether it be audible or lip-read
Chug an entire beer for:
-Any mention of the burning of Atlanta
-”Houston we have a problem”
-Televised nudity