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MQR: The Pennsylvania Roundball Blues Edition

Penn State should hire John Groce Immediately

North Carolina State v Illinois
He’d look good in Blue and White...
Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images

As some of you know, I’m not much for basketball.

Being from the middle of the great state of Pennsyltucky, I’ll watch a little grapplin’ or flip on whatever hockey game is on. But basketball just isn’t my thing. Nothing irritates me more than watching the last minute of a basketball game grind out for half an hour.

The end of most basketball games is the same. All finesse flees as it becomes a hack fest with more flops than a French World Cup game. I’d rather watch an Iowa punt-a-thon than the conga line of missed free throws by the entire basketball squad.

One of the reasons that I don’t like basketball is that my alma mater sucks at basketball...How bad, you might ask? Really, truly, terribly bad.

Let me put it this way, Illinois fired a guy that is head and shoulders better at being a basketball coach than we have at Penn State.

Here’s a quick comparison:

John Groce - former Illinois HC:

  • 37-53 conference record in 5 seasons
  • 8-10 this season
  • Went to the NCAA’s once and the NIT twice in that period
  • Finished as high as seventh and as low as 12th in conference
  • One losing season in that period
  • Overall record .562
  • Conference record .411

Pat Champers - Current PSU HC:

  • 29-78 in six seasons
  • 6-11 this season
  • No NCAA appearances, No NIT appearances
  • Finished as high as 10th and as low as 13th in conference
  • One winning season in that period
  • Overall record .446
  • Conference record .271

If I’m playing cards and I have Pat Chambers in my hand and John Groce on the discard pile...I’m dumping Chambers and picking up Groce in a heartbeat.

Maybe that’s not fair to Chambers. I mean, PSU’s hoops team was a dumpster fire in 2011 when they brought him in. But he’s been above .500 once in his tenure. He’s like Rutgers Football levels of bad at basketball.

I went to a game over the winter break. It was every bit as sloppy and awful as I expected it to be. Our team looked lost, out-coached, and awful. Here’s a tip from an unbiased, non-basketball fan...Hire Groce now.

Your Friend,


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