Well, you degenerates, it’s finally here. Want to bet on how well each Big Ten team will do in 2017? CBS Sports is reporting that the South Point Sportsbook has released the over/under totals for all 130 FBS teams.

Let’s check out the odds and see who should exceed expectations (here’s a schedule, if you need help). To make this a little more fun for me, I’m also starting myself with a pool of $1000 (lol like a history PhD would ever have $1000) and the requirement that I bet a minimum of $25 per team.

Big Ten West

wisconsin badgers: 10.5 (O -110, U -110)

2016 O/U: 7 (Record 11-3)

MNW: Death, taxes, wisconsin somehow stumbling into 10 wins. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Unrelated my liver is functioning at 5%. Over, but only at $25, because that .5 over 10 is a major stumbling block for me.

Stew: Did someone say degenerates? Also, fuck wisconsin. I assume this is regular season. wisconsin is not winning 11 regular season games. Under for $50.

Northwestern Wildcats: 8.5 (O -110, U -110)

2016 O/U: 6.5 (Record: 7-6)

MNW: Do you see what you’ve done, rest of the Big Ten West? You’ve gone and created another scenario in which the oddsmakers have the ‘Cats #2 in the race to win the division. This means six more weeks of winter another disappointing season. Be better. Under, and I’ll spend $125 to reverse jinx this shit. [total $150]

Stew: Under, because come on, they’re justNorthwestern. I won’t go quite as far as my good colleague above, $100 [$150 total]. But my goodness, that is a kind schedule.

Minnesota Golden Gophers: 7.5 (O -110, U -110)

2016 O/U: 6 (Record: 9-4)

MNW: Jesus, I just looked at their schedule. Minnesota should start 7-0 (where have we heard that before?). Over at $75. [total $225]

Stew: Man, oh man. jNW and Minnesota have some really easy schedules. Still, though, Under, because the boat rower is going to struggle a bit in his maiden voyage in Minneapolis. Though, I am not very confident in this one, just going $50. [total $200]

Iowa Hawkeyes: 7 (O -120, U EVEN)

2016 O/U: 8.5 (Record: 8-5)

MNW: It feels like a whole number is just begging Kirk to hit it on the damn nose. Push, thus absolving myself of any need to wager money that will somehow go to his next contract.

Stew: PUSH, push, push, push. New QB, new OC, no WRs, good OL and good Defense. We’re going to punt our way to 7 wins. Going to gamble a bit on this, because a push bet is going to get a higher return, $200. [total $400]

Nebraska Cornhuskers: 7 (O EVEN, U -120)

2016 O/U: 8.5 (Record: 9-4)

MNW: That’s a funny way of writing out “9,” oddsmakers. Despite a tough crossover (OSU, @PSU), I think we might actually be seeing something akin to progress in Lincoln. A push is the basement on this one for me. Over, and I’ll drop $200 on that. [total $425]

Stew: 7? Really? Surely such a vaunted program would never, ever sink to such a level. Also, dammit, I’m going to take the over, for $100. [total $500]

Illinois Fighting Illini: 3.5 (O EVEN, U -120)

2016 O/U: 4.5 (Record: 3-9)

MNW: rutger, Indiana, and Northwestern at home, along with Purdue on the road, should give the Illini 2-3 of the wins they’ll need after a 1-2 win non-conference campaign. Over, but I’ll be damned if I’m suckered into betting any more than the minimum on Illinois football: $25. [total $450]

Stew: I think they can get to 4 wins. I have no idea how, though. Over, $25. [total $525]

Purdue Boilermakers: 2.5 (O -125, U +105)

2016 O/U: 4.5 (Record: 3-9)

MNW: Games against rutger, Illinois, Indiana, and Ohio...can the Boilers win 3 of those? I...I honestly don’t know the answer to this question. Brohm is better than Ash; I can’t see Purdue bottoming out quite like rutger. Over, but I’m still not wasting more than $25, especially on a first-year coach. [total $475]

Stew: That is a low, low number. Purdue is bad, laughably so. However, I think I believe in Brohm. Gimme the Over for $25. [total $550]

Big Ten East

Ohio State Buckeyes: 10.5 (O -120, U EVEN)

2016 O/U: 9.5 (Record: 11-2)

MNW: I don’t know, over usually seems like a safe bet, especially now that Oklahoma is absent Big Game Bob. I’ll just put $25 here. [total $500]

Stew: I just don’t see anyway that OSU doesn’t win 11 games, it’s kinda what they do. Over for $50. [total $600]

Penn State Nittany Lions: 10 (O -110, U -110)

2016 O/U: 6.5 (Record: 11-3)

MNW: The Nittany Lions dodge the West favorites but get the three presumptive runners-up (not including Minnesota), heading to Iowa and Northwestern for two of those. Add those to the usual Big Ten East lineup and I don’t know if I can talk myself into much more than a push. Under, and because these people need quotes like a fish needs water, I’ll toss ‘em $125. [total $625]

Stew: I just do not see the Yolo offense carrying this team to more than 10 wins. Under for $50. [total $650]

Michigan Wolverines: 8.5 (O -120, U EVEN)

2016 O/U: 10 (Record: 10-3)

MNW: Over at $75 with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind. An intriguing pair of crossovers (Minnesota and @wisconsin) will likely be good for some Harbaughian dramatics, but the Wolverines do just enough to hang around third in the East. [total $700]

Stew: Lose everyone, brutal schedule. Still, they’ll find a way to get to 9 wins (and a 3rd place division finish). Over, $100. [total $750]

Indiana Hoosiers: 6.5 (O -120, U EVEN)

2016 O/U: 4.5 (Record: 6-7)

MNW: Well, the Hoosiers may need to win their last three (@Illinois, rutger, @Purdue) just to go bowling, so I’m gonna go ahead and assume they’re not making it to 7 wins. Under, and I’ll take $200 on this one. [total $900]

Stew: I think Indiana is going to be bad this year. Under and I’ll go bigger, too, $200. [total $950]

Michigan State Spartans: 5 (O -110, U -110)

2016 O/U: 7.5 (Record: 3-9)

MNW: Ain’t no way Sparty isn’t bowling again this year, even with the tirefire that is their program’s inability to avoid negative headlines. BGSU, WMU, and Notre Dame, all at home in the non-conference? Even with a middling crossover (Iowa, @MN, @NU), the Spartans should be able to hold serve against the dregs of the East and get back to a bowl. Put it on the board at $50, yes. Over. [total $950]

Stew: I have no clue. None. There is a lot of evidence that this should be a crater of a year. But man, I just don’t know. Dantonio is now playing with a giant fucking chip on his shoulder. The #DISRESPEKT train is rolling. $25 on the Over. [total $975]

Maryland Terrapins: 3 (O -120, U EVEN)

2016 O/U: 4.5 (Record: 6-7)

MNW: Even for how brutal I’ve heard rumors that Maryland’s schedule is in 2017...
[/consults schedule]
Holy shit. Push, with $25 to the over if you’re making me choose. [total $975]

Stew: $25 on a Push, sure why not? Who cares? [total $1000]

Rutgers Scarlet Knights: 3 (O -110, U -110)

2016 O/U: 4.5 (Record: 2-10)

MNW: I wouldn’t bet on rutger if you fucking paid me.

Stew: Nope

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Want to join the exercise? Take your $1000 in OTEBucks* and give us your wagers in the comments! Maybe some enterprising soul will even track this for a fun end-of-season recap... Remember to add your total money up to $1000** and give us your picks!

*Paid in FillerFunds, equal to 5 Stanley Nickels
**Unlike what dumbass MNW did.