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Indiana Football? I barely know her!

IU Football is a joke. Literally.

NCAA Football: Maryland at Indiana Marc Lebryk-USA TODAY Sports

The only thing worse than bad comedy is Indiana University football, so let’s combine the two terrible things and make some IU Football jokes.

I’m not saying that IU Football is fat, but when IU Football sits around the house, IU Football really sits around the house.

Take IU Football, please!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Road?

A: To get away from IU Football!

Riddle: A father and his son are in a car accident. The father dies instantly, and the son is taken to the nearest hospital. The doctor comes in and exclaims "I can't operate on this boy."

"Why not?" the nurse asks.

"Because he's my son," the doctor responds.

How is this possible?

A: The car accident is IU Football.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

IU Football.

Knock Knock

I’m calling the cops.

IU Football is so dumb, it took them an hour to lose to minute Rice.

IU Football once drove a car into a lake because it wanted to see time fly.

Q: What do you get when you cross Indiana University and a football team?

A: The most all time losses in college football.

Q: How many IU Football does it take to screw in a lightbulb at the stadium?

A: Eight hundred.

  • IU Football is so dumb, it failed the North Carolina athlete class.
  • IU Football is so numb, Kevin Wilson noticed that it was injured and put it back in the game.
  • IU Football is so gum, it’s Double Bubble.

  • What came first, IU Football or the Egg?
  • If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to see it, is the tree IU Football?

Lady in church praying: God, could you please make IU Football relevant?

God: I may be omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent, but I’m not a miracle worker.

HENRY: You’re really funny.

TOMMY: What do you mean I’m funny? I’m funny like IU Football?


TOMMY: Thanks, that’s a great compliment.

Arby’s Employee: What would you like today? An excellent roast beef sandwich?

IU Football: I would like a turkey gyro, the worst thing at Arby’s. I am pathetic.

Some Bible scholars believe that the original Revelation 21:8 was longer than what is currently in the Bible. Here is what they say the restored verse should read:

“But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

“What is the first death? You guessed it, IU Football.”

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

A gun.

A gun who?

A gun a have to make one last joke about IU Football.

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

A: In case he got a hole in IU Football.

But seriously folks, there’s no joke that can match the pure hilarity of IU Football. Thanks for reading and tip your servers.