Thursday (Dessert): CHOCOLATE. CAKE. SHAKE.

If Chicago-style popcorn or the iconic South Side Rainbow Cone isn’t enough for you, I’m recommending a hearty-ass Chocolate Cake Shake (NO GOD NOT THAT ONE) from Portillo’s. It’s got a whole fucking piece of moist-as-hell chocolate cake blended right in. How can you say no to that? Hell, make your own!

With all that full-bodied goodness (NO I’M STILL NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT CHOCOLATE SHAKE, GOD), we’d better get down to the biggest question of the week: How well will Northwestern do in 2017? Bowl game in warm weather, bowl game in cold weather, or no bowl game at all? Give us one #BOLDPREDICTION for the ‘Cats in the 2017 season.

Stew: First impression is 7-5 (4-5). While it’s a fairly easy schedule (no super tough out of conference opponents, no OSU, no Michigan), I still don’t believe in their offense. They’re going to be in a lot of ugly games, probably losing a few they should win and vice versa. #BOLDPREDICTION: they lose to Purdue.

Aaron: Having Wisconsin and Nebraska on the road will make it tough to push for a division title, but I think Northwestern can go 9-3 (6-3) with a tame non-conference slate and four winnable home games in league play. That should be good enough for a bowl game in warm weather. My #BOLDPREDICTION will be Justin Jackson getting more Heisman votes than Saquon Barkley.

MNW: Oh damn, Aaron, that’s a spicy-ass #BOLDPREDICTION and you are currently the front-runner for spiciest Northwestern #BOLDPREDICTION (sorry, Stew.)

As of right now I’ve got Northwestern cruising through the non-conference with a late-night scare from the Bowling Green Bad Colors, and then things get a little wobbly. I can’t in good conscience just blindly choose the ‘Cats over wisconsin or Penn State (even at home), and in fact all of the first 6 games look droppable (I don’t know what to believe about Iowa, @Maryland could be fun if Durkin’s rebuilt a bit, Sparty should be better, and Nebraska is always a tough one no matter what).

Out of those I think the ‘Cats find 2-3 and finish around 8-4 (5-4). Not an ideal campaign, but enough to send them out (finally) to the Foster Farms or Holiday Bowl for some left coast fun for the alumni.

As for my #BOLDPREDICTION... I mean, is saying that Clayton Thorson gets some 3rd-4th round draft hype bold? I don’t want to go Full Leidner...but I kind of do.

GF: Michigan still finds a way to beat Northwestern in 2017. /SlidingHolderGIF