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We hate wisconsin

you suck, you rose bowl losing cheese obsessed incompetent jerks

Outback Bowl Wisconsin v Auburn Photo by Brian Blanco/Getty Images

We’re going to take a different approach with hating on wisconsin today: a hate potluck!

Why do you hate wisconsin?

LPW: They’re a bunch of incompetent arrogant jerks. Losing in a rose bowl three fucking times in a row?

I hate your love of smelly rancid cheese, your overrated beer, the fat vermin fans that pollute dumphole Lincoln Park and Lakeview bars like State and Wills Northwoods Tap, the overrated tradition of Jumping around, you losers not knowing how to drive at a proper speed, the dells are shit, and worst of all, the Green Bay Packers spreading their filth throughout the entire midwest.

Your fans are such wonderful human beings that you throw iceballs at your own cheerleaders!

Camp Randall is a shithole firetrap that should be declared structurally unsafe from all the jumping around and razed. It shouldn’t be rebuilt until you get a fucking baseball team.

How the fuck did Barry Alvarez’s son avoid prison time for microwaving a parrot?!

I hope Paul Chryst takes the badgers to the incompetence and irrelevance of the 80s.

Get Fucked, wisconsin.

WSR: I think hate for wisconsin is overblown. They’re a charming and wonderful group of unevolved apes. Why just last fall when I attended the Gopher-badger football game, one 5’ something” fan attempted to get something off my head by trying to jump up and elbow me in the concourse of camp randall prison camp. So very thoughtful and helpful, really. And after the game (in which wisconsin got outplayed for 3 quarters, then received gift after gift from the gracious and generous Gopher offense) a kindly local youth wished me a nice trip home with no less than 7 attempts at profanity crammed into one pathetically structured sentence. When I politely explained that I still had a winning record in that charming locale as a visiting fan, he kindly provided more proof that he had quite a bit of growing to do as his profanity continued to revolve around questioning my sexuality and various conjugations of one word. The look of pride on his guardian’s face, along with my companion’s desire to get back to civilization, dissuaded me from trying to teach him polysyllabic profanity or any other lessons of value.

Charming, right? They’re truly the most wonderful people-like things that haven’t been wiped out by the Bubonic plague that they deserve.