/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/56383347/839737226.0.jpg)
A Few Big Things:
- Feels like college football is back, since the fighting Irish got whipped on a Saturday night
- Speaking of which, remember when Charlie Strong beat Notre Dame a year ago and his future was so bright?
- Kudos to Rice for showing solidarity with their hometown and throwing a disaster of their own
- That’s the worst house-warming party Gary Andersen has ever been to, including the one where Barry Alvarez made him bend the knee to his pug Mutt-ee Ball
- BYU is the Bon Jovi of Saturday afternoons, because their performances remind us that the ‘80s ain’t never coming back
- Getting Hawaii and UMass matched up for a game is like trying to fold opposite corners of a fitted sheet together. The idea is questionable and the execution is ugly.
The Rundown:
USF at SJSU | USF rolls 42-22 Big win for a team that will fight hard all season to play a 12:00 PM bowl game on a Tuesday, within driving distance of their stadium, in front of a few dozen retirees.
Stanford at Rice (Sydney, Australia) | Stanford obliterates the Owls 62-7 America has exported some amazing cultural affectations to Australia. Peanut Butter. Tina Turner. The Chevy small block V8. This game? Not so much.
Oregon State at Colorado State | CSU trounces Fake OSU 58-27 The announcer claimed that Gary left Wisconsin because “he likes to build a culture.” If he keeps this up, the only thing he’ll be building is a good case of hemorrhoids.
Hawaii at UMass | ‘Bows win 38-35 Hawaii wins on last-minute TD pass. Residents of both states are only vaguely aware that college football occurred, which is good considering UMass ran the worst hail mary in history.
This is not how the Hail Mary works, UMass... pic.twitter.com/2KIgr0GxaT
— Dr. Saturday (@YahooDrSaturday) August 27, 2017