Are you sitting down?

You should be sitting down for this.

Are you an Iowa fan?

Here, grab a beer. You might need one.

Not even a full year after signing a contract extension with the University of Iowa, Gary Barta and Kirk Ferentz have apparently renegotiated his contract, leading to...

A PAY CUT

Yes, loyal OTE reader, you read that correctly: Iowa has somehow found a way to pay Kirk Ferentz less per year tha—

What?

I’m sorry, OTE, it turns out this pay cut is only $50,000 per year of a yearly contract worth already $2.5 million.

SO WHERE’S THE MONEY GOING?

Our crack team of speculators has speculated that this money may be spent on:

• The Gary Barta Legal Defense Fund
• Deferred money due to rising fuel costs for Ferentz’s private plane
• Extra dye for Iowa’s New, Super-Alternate Jersey: Slightly Darker Black
• A pay raise for Brian Feren—no surely not nepotism in the Ferentz Football Fiefdom Iowa Athletic Department
• Two yearly $25,000 scholarships to residents of Iowa whose families operate farms, to be called the Actually Helping Farmers Scholarships (suck it, State)
• Deferred money due to rising fuel costs for Ferentz’s private plane
• 2015 Big Ten Championship Participation Trophy Case
• Improving gameday experiences for fans and students by moving them closer to the action and defraying costs associated with fewer sponsorships probably more luxury boxes or something