I. Case History / Opening Statement

A. Case History

Darrell Hazell was fired last season as he has been replaced by Jeff Brohm. Hazell oversaw four historically awful seasons and never really seemed like he cared. Brohm, who was previously the Western Kentucky coach, has a reputation as a great offensive mind and a high-energy coach.

B. Opening Statement

There is light at the end of the tunnel for Purdue football!

The results will probably not come this season, but Purdue fans have reason to be optimistic. I have been delivering the same opening statement for the past three years; it is really refreshing to get to sing a different tune this time around.

Maybe it won’t happen this season, but it will happen. Trust me.

Life is good!

II. Discovery

A. What We’ve Written About Purdue This Offseason

B1G 2017 // Cocktail Party Preview

B1G 2017 // That New Coach Smell

B1G 2017 // Google Reviews Purdue

The Future of Purdue Football: Five Predictions

B1G 2017 // Hate Article

B. What We Can Learn From Pop Culture

Purdue Football is Milhouse. Which is to say Purdue Football is pathetic and to be pitied. Sometimes things work out for Milhouse, just like things can work out for Purdue. Let’s put this clip in the form of an old SAT analogy.

Flood pants: Milhouse :: Jeff Brohm: Purdue

III. Emotional Plea

Remember when football was to fun to watch, Purdue fans? When you looked forward to watching the game on Saturday instead of finding some yard work that coincidentally had to be done at the same time the Boilers got walloped by another mediocre team?

Those times are coming back. Football will be fun again. As Whitney Houston would say, Jeff Brohm is going to make it happen. The 2017 season will be rough; the schedule is tough and the talent cupboard was pretty bare when Brohm was hired.

But, fret not because better times are ahead. I implore you to do as the Quad City DJs instructed. Come on, ride the train, hey, ride it.

IV. The Verdict

Here are the record predictions from our staff. If you use this to win a lot of money betting against our predictions in Vegas, we are legally entitled to a cut.

It looks like Stew has the most optimistic outlook for the Boilermakers. I hope he is right, but I fear the average might end up being pretty accurate.