This week in Schadenfreude is a tradition that started I think on MGoBlog a few years back, then migrated to SBN, and then last season longtime OTE reader (and implacable foe of Lil Red) Wolvie picked up the torch.
This week in Schadenfreude is all about embracing your inner jackass and laugh at the lamentations of college football fan bases that suffer or deserve losses on the football field.
Let’s point out the blindingly obvious: most of the college football teams in the Lonestar State did not have a good opening weekend, chief amongst them the Texas Longhorns.
Maryland defeated Texas 51-41
Let’s check in with some Longhorn fans at Burnt Orange Nation
what did the coaching staff do this offseason?
outside of building a night club locker room and hiring a social media dude
Yeah, hammering down the locker room was Brilliant.
All hat, no cattle.
Classic texas compliment.
God we suck
All those recruits in the stands right now, watching fans throw shit on the field and boo. They aren’t coming here. This is an absolute dumpster fire of a program. It all goes back to boosters thinking they can buy wins. They’ve screwed everything up
So Red McCombs
How do you like this?
Perhaps he should’ve kept the Vikings
I begin to believe the Texas Administration and Donors
have fucked this program to the wall with their Egos.
I miss Strong.
Coach Strong: please accept our apologies
And the $10M.
As bad as the game is,
the worst exposure nationally is the stupidity, arrogance and ignorance of the Texas fans herein.
I am giving the Horns Down sign to this bunch of imposters.
Starting at the Top, Mr. Herman.
We have a bunch of guys who aren’t being developed or coached to their potential. This isn’t rocket science. Bill Snyder doesn’t get nearly the caliber of recruits we get, but look at his success with the would-be Iowa Hawkeye players that weren’t good enough to go to a Big 10 school.
This is 95% coaching and preparation.
Someone call a whaaambulance. You guys got outcoached, plain and simple. Deal with it.
Texas Longhorns, college football's Miami Dolphins: all that's left is memories of a million years ago.
Yeah, that natty and natty loss was soooooo long ago.
Liberty defeated Baylor 48-45
Ed note: Is this Liberty ADs Ian McCaw’s revenge after resigning from Baylor?
Let’s check in with our friends at OurDailyBears
I've watched every single Baylor game for the last 10 years.
I may quit if they lose this game. I can’t watch this season if they lose 10+ games.
90’s Baylor fan: hold my O’Doul’s
Is that the drink of choice in Waco?
Well... I'll see you guys next year.
We’re done, I’m not watching the later games. I can’t afford the heartbreak.
Kevin Steele never lost to an FCS school
Let that sink in. The bellweather of Baylor ineptitude did not manage to reach a low that the new staff managed to accomplish in 1 game. And with a talent pool quite a bit better than the Steele teams of old. A team that shut down Boise State last time they were playing, with a lameduck coaching staff in place.
This is a worst-case nuclear disaster. As someone who sat through the miserable 1997-2007 seasons, I have better things to do with my time than repeat those godawful years. I am done with this program and my alma mater.
Oh, you’ll be back on the bandwagon later
Lowest of the low
I’ve experienced a lot of lows as a Baylor fan, but this is the lowest. Think about that! This is the lowest of all the crap we’ve experienced at Baylor. Anyone want four season tickets on the fifty? I honestly am probably going to have to sit this season out. And maybe next season. This is going to take years to recover from.
It’s early. Here, have a tissue you sensitive snowflake
UCLA defeated Texas A&M 45-44
Let’s check in with a aTm board member
I repeat, this is a member of the board of trustees
Let’s check in with our friends at Good Bull Hunting
There is only one question after this game.
Which head coaches are available after the season?
Paging our contract lawyers:
Does blowing a five touchdown lead qualify as a "for cause" event? Asking for a friend.
Go ahead, that’ll be fun to litigate!
As a lifelong diehard Aggie football fan
I have no real desire to sit down and watch football games the rest of the year. I’ve never felt like this. There’s no point. And there’s no point in letting Sumlin finish the season. It’ll only hurt recruiting. Herman will be telling every recruit, "Why go to A&M when you know 100% Sumlin is gone?"
Gotta love negative recruiting!
Cut our losses now
Yes, Fire everyone now, do not wait until November! I am tired of paying more money for season tickets and additional construction assessments and having the same product on field. We could be paying less with RC and having the same results. My BAS (Battered Aggie Syndrome) is showing and and I am not going to do this for another season.
Why not just stop playing football until next year?
Sumlin has to be gone
The only question is when can we realistically fire him? Has anyone in CFB ever been fired after week one?
You'll never beat Alabama's record.
We fired Mike Price in the summer before his first season started. That’s like week negative 7.
George O'Leary at Notre Dame
beats the Price record. Forced out 5 days after he was hired… in December
At this point the managing editor of Roll Bama pops in....
At this point Sumlin wishes he had O’Leary’s resume.
WHY DO I ALWAYS THINK THIS TEAM HAS TURNED THE CORNER?! I have secondary rooting interest PTSD.
Howard defeated UNLV 43-40
Lets see what UNLV have to say on Rivals
It's going to be a very long year
When you can't tackle you can't win. Plain and simple. A school like UNLV cannot afford to replace 9 new guys on defense in a given season. I love some of these people. The defense will be better with all the new guys. That is really not how it works in college football. You can't allow that high of a turnover on defense. That is how you lose to a horrible 2-9 FCS school. One of the worst teams in FCS...
YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!
I'm tuning out Sanchez...
at this point. He's now babbling about "outside noise." Hey coach how how winning games against clearly inferior opponents? How about the coaching staff being prepared to make in-game adjustments? Quit complaining coach. You're starting to sound like Mike Sanford and the locker rooms.
Illinois barely defeated Ball State
How early is too early to start getting sad?
I was sad months ago
Never too early as an Illini fan haha
Illini fandom is an infinite void of sadness. You can’t have nice things.
fuck this shit
0-12 here we come!
Northwestern gets the hat another year! HAT HAT HAT HAT HAT
Cherish it. Don’t know how many more we’ll get this year. Spoiler text here
Yes, he really typed Spoiler text here
Safe to say the honeymoon is over? I know we all took a flyer on this year but geez
Lovie Smith had a honeymoon? Nice things and all....
Washington struggled against Rutgers.
Let’s check in with our friends at UW Dawg Pound
Time to wake up. Light a (fire emoji)
I wasn’t able to copy and paste the fire emoji. This is the only altered quote. Still, it’s BUTTGERS
Are you fucking kidding me?
first f bomb of the season, second series of the game.
WELL DONE SIR!
You’re losing to BUTTGERS
those first 2 series are already killing UW’s national perception.
Nah, I think the Neuheisel and Willingham tenure did that.
They are running through us right now.
Didn’t you guys make the playoffs last year? Are all of your linemen at the Jersey shore cruising for guidettes?
Rutgers defense playing like their hair is on fire...
But UW’s offense looks like they’re asleep at the wheel… Was definitely not expecting this so far…
We should NEVER have an opening road game 3 time zones away
But I think we have one next season too
Man up and deal with it. There are ways of dealing with differing time zones
Getting crushed at the line of scrimmage.
As a stanford fan #BodyClocks
Happened for us @Northwestern
My sincere reaction as a Northwestern fan:
Wow. Who would have thought
Rutgers controls the clock, both sides of scrimmage, 10-7 at the half???
DAWGS have to wake up, talk and help each other (like they normally do) and get after it in the second half!
I thought their would be incoherent woofing or barking. Or maybe it’s a good time to party with the sailgaters.
Image sourcing: smiling General Sherman came from a tweet by @trillburne and everything else I found by Google Image Search.
Who had the worst loss?
This poll is closed