Here at Off Tackle Empire, we’re always trying to find ways to increase the reach of our tremendous content. Recognition and awards can sometimes bring unsung brilliance to light, but we hadn’t seen an award that really highlighted our essence.
I will be announcing THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR on Monday at 5:00 o’clock. Subjects will cover Dishonesty & Bad Reporting in various categories from the Fake News Media. Stay tuned!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 3, 2018
“Various categories” strongly implies that there must be a sports category. Who’s better at Dishonesty & Bad Reporting than us? THIS COULD BE OUR BIG BREAK!
A national stage to have the President of the United States finally give us the recognition we deserve for our diligence seems like a gift from Heaven.
Mr. President, please peruse a portfolio of some of our submissions. In 2017, we:
- Claimed Northwestern as the rightful National Champions of College Football
- Predicted Northwestern basketball would return to the NCAA tournament
- Deceived the public with a Fake News story about changing our subject matter
- Falsely claimed the Big Ten was breaking up with Rutgers
- Reported staff layoffs that were Totally Made Up
- Said that Wisconsin is home to several good things
- Greatly Over Exaggerated the degree to which millennials are killing the Big 12
- Predicted an 8-4 record for Nebraska football
- Lied about Iowa State joining the MAC (AMARACA GRAT AGAN)
- Published Fake Stories about Jimbo Fisher coaching at Florida
- Claimed that any Big Ten coach in their right mind would take the Tennessee job
Mr. President, this is just a small sampling of the hard work we do every single day to poison our readers’ minds and distort the truth through deception and obfuscation. Our failing blog is in desperate need of this much-deserved boost, and would be honored to even be nominated for a Fake News Award. I know Adem Schefter works pretty hard as well, but we have so many more mouths to feed. We’d be overjoyed if you’d consider us. You know how we’d feel if you didn’t? Sad!
As for you, loyal readers, please support us on Twitter by boosting this post. I’ll never again ask you to do this, but remember, we need the help since my prediction that Illinois basketball would win 25 games last season was from 2016 and is outside the window of eligibility. That would have made us a shoo-in, but without that, we need your help. #OTEforFakeNewsAwards