Big Ten Week 7 Picks, Predictions: Coach Dad versus Dad Pants — Who Wins?

Iowa Hawkeyes (4-1, 1-1 B1G) at Indiana Hoosiers (4-2, 1-2)

11am | ESPN2 | IA -5 | O/U 53

Straight-Up: Iowa, 13-5
Against the Spread: Iowa, 10-8

Boilerman31: You know what Vegas loves? Vegas loves them some home dogs and that’s exactly the spot Indiana finds themselves in. Iowa used up their trick play allotment last week in Minnesota. I expect chaos, and I expect Indiana to provide it with their one hope-giving win of the year. Give me the Hoosiers and the moneyline.

87townie: This is a test for Iowa. They handled the cupcakes but got blasted by a fair Wisconsin squad. Indiana has flashed hot and cold, with losses to a great OSU team and a mediocre Spartan team. I think Indiana steps up and surprises Iowa at home. Indiana wins.

GoForThree: Indiana has a puncher’s chance here, but I think Iowa pulls some Iowa bullshit and wins on a load of lame shit like an illegal hands to the face that puts them in FG range.

Creighton M: Iowa gets into another shootout here like they did against Minnesota. My heart will be beating about a hundred miles per hour until the fourth quarter or so when Iowa’s depth will help them pull ahead and beat the spread.

MNW: I’m of two minds. In one of those minds, Iowa just leans on Indiana the whole time and cruises (at a responsible 34 in a 35, mind you—Mary doesn’t like when Kirk speeds) to a 23-10 victory. In the other, Indiana does what they did to Ohio State, but blows it in the fourth instead of the third. I’ll take the first option: Iowa, 23-10.

WSR: Iowa wins and covers and nobody except Iowa fans notice. Indiana’s pass defense will probably present more problems for Iowa than Minnesota’s did, and the Hawkeyes will need to try to figure out how to run the ball at some point. They’ll do just enough, but the underlying problems will still remain.

Nebraska Cornhuskers (0-5-⚡, 0-3) at Northwestern Wildcats (2-3, 2-1)

11am | ABC | NU -6 | O/U 59.5

Straight-Up: Northwestern, 16-2
Against the Spread: Northwestern, 11-7

Boilerman: Hmm, this is a bit of a tricky one. Northwestern is coming off their “upset” of Sparty while Nebraska managed to cover somehow against Wisconsin. I think the ‘Cats keep rolling after Nebraska finds new and exciting penalties to shoot itself in the foot. Northwestern covers.

87townie: Northwestern went deep on Sparty last week. They had 3 plays that accounted for 132 yards and 21 points. They can do that to Nebraska too. I think the Nerdy Cats win by two touchdowns.

GF3: The Battle for NU: Northwestern showed MOXIE and GRIT last weekend. Nebraska is so bad they’re having to deny guys the chance to transfer to Oregon State. Really. Oregon State. NU downs UN and covers.

CM: My gut instinct was to pick the Huskers to pick up their first win here, but who am I kidding? The random number generator Pat Fitzgerald uses to call his plays keeps accidentally winning games for him, and Nebraska will find a way to throw the game away with turnovers and dumb penalties. There’s always Bethune Cookman, Huskers.

MNW: Adrian Martinez is going to run around and do Adrian Martinez things, and if the Huskers’ OL gives him even a little time, I’m very, very concerned. The offense Scott Frost wants to run at UNL is exactly the kind the ‘Cats seem to struggle with—setting the edge, containing the ballcarrier, avoiding getting beat by big plays. Huskers, 34-31.

WSR: For all the whinging about Husker fans and their delusions, is there anything worse right now than the “WOE IS US” Wildcat fans? Yeah, we get it. You’re terrible and you like it that way. Just that you’re not. You’re average, and should embrace that by being neither loud about being good or being bad. Really just shut up and take your win and shut up.

. (1-5, 0-3) at Maryland Terrapins (3-2, 1-1)

11am | BTN | MD -23.5 | O/U 52

Straight-Up: Maryland, 17-1
Against the Spread: Maryland, 10-8

Boilerman: Having given their all the past two weeks at home, that team of which we shall not speak now gets to go to their turtle-y neighbors. I’m not a fan of spreads this large, but the Knights are just so bad. They’re so bad a guy in Vegas nicknamed Duffel Bag Boy dropped a $100K bet against them for Illinutgers. Terps big.

87townie: This series is shockingly even. Maryland has 7 wins to Rutgers’ 6 wins. Rutgers stomped the Turtles last year. Maryland is going to return the favor this year. The Twerps win at home, but the Knights cover.

GF3: MD wins, RU covers. America loses.

CM: Maryland alternates between really hot and really cold, so I didn’t quite know how to call this one. I mean, obviously Rutgers is going to lose, but I had to flip a coin on deciding whether or not Maryland would cover the spread, and it came up tails.

MNW: Nah.

WSR: This one’s going to get really ugly. Maryland seems to have a pretty good memory, and they’ve got some receipts for Rutgers. I’d fully expect this one to be over by the half, which could also lead to the first end of a Head Coach this season.

Minnesota Golden Gophers (3-2, 0-2) at [3] Ohio State Buckeyes (6-0, 3-0)

11am | FS1 | OSU -29.5 | O/U 59.5

Straight-Up: Ohio State, 18-0
Against the Spread: Ohio State, 13-5

Boilerman: I hate this spread. The Buckeyes failed to cover (accurately predicted by GF3) last week against Indiana which gives me pause. That said, the last time Minnesota left The Bank, they got absolutely stomped by Maryland. Give me the Buckeyes to cover, I guess.

87townie: Minny brings the oars to row. But OSU runs them over with a fully stealthed battleship. The search for Minny’s remains are called off. OSU wins and covers.

GF3: OSU, but Minny gets a backdoor cover when the scrubs are in.

CM: I’m calling the opposite of GF3’s prediction: Buckeyes get a late score or two, possibly from a defensive touchdown while Peej is throwing deep trying to get back into the game, and cover the spread.

MNW: For all the “next man up” rhetoric coaches love, and for something like 10 of their 11 defensive starters being upperclassmen, the Gophers have had no answers in the wake of Antoine Winfield Jr.’s injury.

I’m sure this is all Tracy Claeys’ fault. Buckeyes, 56-21.

WSR: I would just like to start by apologizing for Jerry Kill winning the B1G COTY in 2014. That’s in no way the fault of the current coaching staff, and in fact we’re only one school out of 14. You should take it out on everyone else and not just us, even though I’m sure we’ll take some pretty effective lumps.

Purdue Boilermakers (2-3, 1-1) at Illinois Fighting Illini (3-2, 1-1)

2:30pm | FS1 | Purdue -10 | O/U 62

Straight-Up: Purdue, 18-0
Against the Spread: Purdue, 16-2

Boilerman: The Battle for the Purdue Cannon. Good times. Looking at this objectively, I’m not a fan of this large of a spread. That said, Purdue is 8-2 ATS in it’s last 10 road games and the Boilers injury sheet is fairly clean. Illinois’ stats reveal they rely heavily on the run game and AJ Bush is athletic enough to give Purdue’s defense some heartburn.

That said, David Blough and Co. should have their way with the Illini D. I’ll take the Boilers to cover.

Thumpasaurus: Purdue at Illinois? Take the over. No defense in this one. The score’s gonna make like my fucking car and BLOW THE FUCK UP. On a related note, I might not make it to the game after all

87townie: Winning is fun, right Illinois? Purdue thinks so too. Blough goes off big. Wins B1G offensive player of the week. Illinois returns to the suck. Purdue wins and covers.

GF3: This is a football game that exists and I don’t know why. Who will watch? Who will care? Purdue, I guess.

CM: Illinois’ performance will be just like the gray uniforms they’ve inexplicably decided to wear on homecoming: Dull, uninspired, and meaningless.

MNW: Ain’t no way I’d ever, ever bet this one in real life, but unless Illinois comes out with the South Florida gameplan, I don’t see this staying particularly close. Didn’t these schools formerly send out representatives to smoke a peace pipe at halftime or something? Give me a hit of tht if I’m gonna watch this one... Purdue, 34-21.

WSR: Hooboy. Congratulations on your win over Rutgers, Illinois. Now you’re going to provide some highlight materials for Louisville-area TV networks when they’re talking about new coach Brian Brohm in a few months.

Michigan State Spartans (3-2, 1-1) at [9] Penn State Nittany Lions (4-1, 1-1)

2:30pm | BTN | PSU -13.5 | O/U 53

Straight-Up: Penn State, 17-1
Against the Spread: Penn State, 11-7

Boilerman: Who knows? Maybe Sparty was looking ahead to Penn State when they were double-digit favorites to Northwestern. Maybe not. Sparty is 1-4 ATS this season for a reason. Give me the rested Nittanies to cover.

87townie: Don’t think Jimmy Franks forgot about last year’s debacle. Sparty knocked PSU out of the national spotlight. PSU’s perceived weakness, along with a blowout loss to Iowa, knocked OSU out of the playoff.

There’s a lot of pent up angst to work out between both teams. The nod goes to Penn State here, at home for homecoming. PSU wins and covers.

GF3: Sparty is hot trash. The end.

CM: Franklin does that thing where his team sucks for most of the game, then runs up the score over the last quarter so he can act like it was a dominant performance. “Sparty noooo”, and such.

MNW: Are we in for one of those games where both schools pull out the trick plays because of the urgency of not taking on more water in the race to keep up with Ohio State? Count me in for a fun one in Happy Valley—a fake punt here, a fake field goal there, and a late Trace McSorley drive with lots of slants and screens seals it.

I’m also going to repeat my theory that Mark Dantonio hasn’t constructed a new gameplan in about 3 years—he just tosses in a trick play here and there to make it seem like he’s still trying. Nittany Lions, 28-24.

WSR: The irresistable force (PSU’s offense moving towards the endzone while trying to avoid the opposition defense and James Franklin’s inept meddling) vs. the immovable object (Michigan State’s Michigan State-ness). Give me the points, because I think they’ll get enough to win.

[15] wisconsin badgers (4-1, 2-0) at [12] Michigan Wolverines (5-1, 3-0)

6:30pm | ABC | Mich -7 (has risen to -9.5) | O/U 49

Straight-Up: Michigan, 14-4
Against the Spread: Michigan, 10-8

Boilerman: This is just an ugly game with a line that many handicappers were surprised that it opened this large. Looking further into it, I can see why. The Badgers are 1-5 ATS this season and Michigan is 5-1. Usually when this happens, it means a team is over/under performing and the bookies haven’t caught up. I’m guessing the line is this high for a reason. I’m avoiding putting any real money on this, but my gut says the Badgers cover.

87townie: This is a tough one. Neither team looks terrible. Neither team looks like a world beater. The hipster choice here is Michigan. Harbaugh finally has “his” quarterback in retread Shea Patterson. The team looked decent demolishing cup cakes.

However, Wisconsin’s offensive line is three dump trucks, a semi, and a snow plow…again. These guys are going to grade a road through Michigan’s defense. I could run the ball behind this front. Give me Wisconsin for the win and cover.

GF3: Townie needs to look up what Hipster means. Chryst has been surviving pretty well for having a trash-ass QB. But, the East is superior and thus the king of the West will be dropkicked back to Sheboygan or wherever they send people for punishment in Wisconsin.

CM: Hornibrook will find a way to blow it. Dad pants beats Coach Dad, and the rest of us are annoyed that both teams couldn’t lose.

MNW: wisconsin is their punishment, GF3.

In a battle of who can be the manliest, Paul Chryst and Jim Harbaugh lock hands for the pregame handshake and shake vigorously for at least 2 minutes, neither willing to yield to the other. They then call power left 40 times each, refusing to yield until this game ends in a 17-14 Michigan win.

WSR: I still haven’t been convinced by the Michigan offense that they’re anything more than “meets expectations.” Sure the defense is something to write home to mom about, but that happens quite a bit in the B1G. Like...wisconsin. Thankfully for the Wolverines, they don’t have Alex Hornibrook and that should be the difference.

---

I’m a little behind, so I’m hoping to get the standings up after a 9am meeting today. In the meantime, vote in the polls, let us know your picks in the comments, and enjoy the weekend of football! South Florida-Tulsa at 6pm tonight—get hyped!