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Sunday Morning Coming Down

Purdue Harbor Edition

NCAA Football: Ohio State at Purdue Thomas J. Russo-USA TODAY Sports

Ten B1G Things

  1. Everyone congratulate Jeff Brohm on his new job at Louisville
  2. If you didn’t see this coming after the last two weeks against IU and Minnesota, you’re either the most blind of OSU homers or you think Purdue is unbelievably incapable of winning (no one would blame you for the latter).
  3. Dwayne Haskins now owns the OSU single-game yardage record with 470 and single-game completion record with 49, and currently leads the FBS with 30 TD passes and 2804 yards
  4. OSU’s run game should be renamed “chronic lyme disease” because it gets a ton of air time but isn’t a real thing.
  5. The West and East are tied at the moment, which gives fans in the West something to beat their chests about as the East captures a fifth straight B1G title.
  6. With one more series, Iowa would’ve had more yards of offense than Maryland had feet of offense.
  7. The potential winner of the B1G West beat Rutgers by 3 points
  8. Why, if you didn’t know better, you could look back at the history of Michigan and MSU pre-game antics and come to the conclusion that Michigan is a program devoid of class
  9. Futility, they name is Devin Bush attempting to tear up a midfield logo
  10. If I told you Wisconsin-Illinois and OSU-Purdue would have the same score, this would be neither the scores nor the outcome you’d have predicted
  11. Indiana would like you to know that they’re tired of being “close” to winning a big game, and they’ll discuss that in depth just as soon as they finish surrendering their lead in literally the fastest way possible
  12. Nebraska’s First Frost™ was a sight to behold, right down to the Gatorade shower
  13. If that wasn’t a bucket of Gatorade Frost™, every marketer involved should be fired
  14. Urban Meyer lost control of his team in August, and I don’t think he ever gets it back

The Rundown

Ohio State at Purdue | The Harboring Becomes a Hiroshima-ing, 49-20

OSU was in trouble from the first play—a 12-yard strike to the sideline that set the tone for the entire night. Purdue found receivers in space over and over, moving the sticks more often than not. And on the times when they couldn’t get the first down, OSU would simply give it to them with a penalty—the worst coming when punt team superstar Davon Hamilton decided to do the worst judo roll acting job in football history right into the punter. . Even so, it seemed like OSU was in position for a comeback...until the wheels flat out came off the cart on defense. Purdue racked up 21 points in the 4th quarter, stretching the lead to an insurmountable 42-20. Then they added a pick-six for good measure. The Harbor is real, and frankly if you didn’t see this coming you haven’t been watching either Purdue or OSU these last few weeks. Purdue is peaking, OSU is cratering, and the result is the biggest win for Purdue since the last time they beat #2 1984.

Boilerman31: Excuse me while I slip into this glass of 2001 Highland Park Single Malt

GoForThree: Enjoy that glass, Bman. Well deserved. Now...let me say to all the people who thought I was making shit up this summer... 1.) Bill Davis is a shit linebackers coach, and the steady regression of the LBs to a high school level of overpursuit and bad angles is proof positive. Stop hiring your wedding party, Urban. 2.) Greg Studrawa is not an offensive line coach. He is a waste of money who has taken a bad sophomore RT named Isaiah Prince and turned him into a bad senior RT named Isaiah Prince. 3.) The run game would have to improve to be called a disaster 4.) Given point 3, maybe wasting a down in the red zone every single time by running Dobbins on an inside zone is bad fucking idea 5.) This team is #15 in the country at best. At best. 6.) Ed W. was a terrible O coordinator but a great line coach, and he is going to absolutely destroy Schiano’s dumbass scheme of walking every LB up to the line on every down. 7.) Can we please get rid of these awful assistants? 8.) No, seriously...Urban needs to prove to the entire country that he learned the lesson of how dangerous blind loyalty can be and fire the non-performers. If he doesn’t, this year will go down as the inflection point in a once great career—if it hasn’t already.

Michigan at Michigan State | Assholes win Little Brother Showdown, 21-7

What an embarrassment in virtually every way possible. From the pre-game assclownery to the in-game jawing to the post game yapping by the coaches. You couldn’t script a more contrived display of juvenile shenanigans. Surprisingly, a football game also occurred. Shea Patterson won the QB competition going away, with 212 yds and two touchdowns to Brian Lewerke’s 5/25 for 66 yds and no scores. This wasn’t much of a contest on the field, and with the loss of Felton Davis to a torn achilles tendon MSU’s season may be approaching a death spiral after an unexpected win over PSU.

Illinois at Wisconsin | Just what you’d expect, 49-20

Despite 2 INTs from Hornibrook, Wisconsin dominated this game from whistle to whistle. The Wiscy signal caller completed 13/22 for 3 TDs, and his stable of running backs added a mere 357 yards rushing to the offensive tally. Illinois managed 210 on the ground, though 80 came on long scamper by Corbin. Not much to see here, folks.

Thump: Who even cares? Not Lovie Smith. Lovie couldn’t scheme his way out of losing to Darrell hazell in 2016 and Chris Ash last year, and he’s only out talenting Rutgers in this conference. Where’s the talent, Lovie? Gonna need a lot more to even stop Eastern Michigan next year. Don’t see where you’re getting it from. You absolute failure. GET OUT.

Penn State at Indiana | PSU escapes 33-28

So, either Indiana is kind of good, or PSU and OSU aren’t that good, or some mix thereof. Either way, IU is continuing the very IU trend of scaring the hell out of people but ultimately losing in crushing fashion—the perennial Hans Gruber of the East. Probably the best illustration of the futility of IU fandom came in this game, with Ramsey leading the Hoosiers into the endzone to take a 21-20 lead. On the ensuing kick, Johnathan Thomas took the ensuing kick to the house (even though he was erroneously called out at the 5 despite not stepping out, so I give him full credit). McSorley made it official one snap later. Couple that with a J-Shun Harris fumble on a punt and the Lions were in position to close out another fleeting Hoosier dream.

Candystripes: Fuck football forever. Schedule this same reaction for this time next year, because it’ll probably be true.

87townie: First of all, hat’s off to Nebraska for getting Scott Frost his first win and conference win. Second, congrats to Jeff Brohm for knocking off a tough Ohio State team. Finally, congratulations to James Franklin for getting his head out of his collective staff’s ass to beat Indiana. Dear god, the first half of that game was terrible. Penn State kept trying to hand Indiana the game. And in true midwestern fashion, they refused to take it from us out of hospitality.

A-A-Ron: My last fall wedding of the season was in Philly last night, and that meant I could only watch about a third of the Penn State vs. Indiana game. The Lions did not look great in the first half, but it looks like they got their act together and took a two-score lead early in the fourth quarter. In between the ceremony and the reception, I even saw Penn State get a key fourth-down stop that appeared to clinch a victory. No, it did not. James Franklin called a terrible time out, leading to a botched onside kick recovery and a chance for Indiana to steal a win. Fortunately, the Hoosiers ran out of time. I’m not sure if Penn State should be favored against Iowa this Saturday.

Northwestern at Rutgers | BABY WHAT IS YOU DOING, 18-15

I have no words. Both teams combined for fewer yards than Dwayne Haskins threw for in a 29-point loss. Thorson completed just 17/34. Sitko-whoever was even worse at 15/31. What a disaster. For shame, NU. For shame.

MNW: Just when you think you have Northwestern figured out (“STOP RUNNING THE FUCKING BALL; JUST THROW IT”), they turn in a performance like today’s against Rutgers and show you why they’re still a completely shit team (“WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT THORSON HOW TO THROW”) but can still pull stupid victory from the jaws of deserved defeat in completely different ways. Today it was Isaiah Bowser, the freshman RB from Ohio who showed that he doesn’t have the breakaway speed but enough size to roll over Rutgers defenders on the outside zone, and a defense that bent but didn’t break, which is really all that this defense can do outside Joe Gaziano, Destroyer of Worlds.

Seriously, just fucking fire Mick McCall and Adam Cushing into the sun. I’d be more mad about it, but at this point we’re settling into the ennui of Northwestern “down years”. Go ‘Cats.

LPW: I’m glad we won, but dammit this was u-g-l-y. The offense completely stalled against Rutgers’s defense after we scored seven points early on. We managed to win because we have our (he had damn well better, burn the damn redsirt, be the new starting) running back Isaiah Bowser, a tank of a freshman who managed to get the hard yards and claw us back from a 15-8 deficit.

I also agree with MNW: Pat Fitzgerald needs to clean house and fire our incompetent OL coach Adam Cushing and equally inept offensive coordinator Mick McCall. They then need to be fired from coaching a peewee team. We’re winning despite their incompetence.

We *never* should’ve trailed this team, and we should’ve lived up to the line. MNW is right. Northwestern football is stupid and dumb. GO CATS

Maryland at Iowa | Defense Defense Defense, 23-0

Defense defense defense, defense defense defense. Also, defense and defense. Iowa held Maryland to 115 yards of total offense—a Maryland team that beat Texas, mind you. The wind played hell with any attempts at passing, limiting Nate Stanley to 86 yards. But combined with the Iowa rushing attack that piled up 224 yards, 86 was plenty to get the job done. Does Iowa win the west? Probably not...but they probably should.

StewMonkey: In the windiest game I have ever been to in Kinnick stadium, Iowa absolutely suffocated Maryland. Iowa had the ball for 40:55. Iowa punted twice, for the whole game. Maryland only surpassed 100 yards in the final minute of the game. Maryland ran 2 plays from the Iowa side of the field (none in the 2nd half), they were a loss of 1, and an interception. Maryland was averaging over 6 yards per rush and almost 250 rushing yards per game, today they got 68 rushing yards on less than 3 yards per carry. Iowa racked up over 200 yards of rushing in a game where no one could possibly pass the ball. Iowa just sat on Maryland’s chest and dared them to do anything about it, they couldn’t.

Oh, and this game was over in about 2:45. Really appreciated that.

Creighton: Iowa had the best defensive performance of the season against a pretty decent offense, and Brandon Smith had perhaps the best touchdown catch I’ve seen since...Ed Hinkel’s diving catch against Penn State in 2002? Anyway it was fun to watch the ground game take off again, and not losing a “trap” game is always good. We’ll need this momentum heading into Happy Valley next week.

Minnesota at Nebraska | Some Frost in the atmosphere, 53-28’s cold in here. On the back of the latest Martinez sensation and his 276 yards/3 TD performance, Nebraska ends the longest losing streak in generations. If you think that number is good, the 383 yards rushing will really blow your mind. There wasn’t a ton of defense in this game, but Minnesota’s hopes were put in serious jeopardy when they had to bring in backup QB Tanner Morgan in the third quarter. He offered 11 completions and a nice interception. For long-suffering Nebraska fans, the skid is over. For now.

WSR: Holy shit can we be a mess on defense. If you make our guys think by either running some read option or motion or a combination of the two you’ll have us on skates and we’ll be fucked. The offense decided that since the d was taking the first half off that they’d do the same, but there were a number of missed opportunities that haunted this team. A dumb hold called back one TD, an offensive PI in the endzone killed another drive, and two 4th down stalls (including one fucking fade!) were just killers. On the plus side, Lincoln was a blast. So at least I have that?

BRT: There will no doubt be dozens of sneering comments to the effect of “oh my god, it was just Minnesota...” and yes, it was--but even “just Minnesota” feels pretty damn good when you come into a game 0-6. It was a fall day of exquisite perfection, and to see Nebraska finally shake that monkey off their backs made for an excellent day. There was a lot of talk the past week about how Nebraska would respond following the gut punch at Northwestern, and I think Husker fans can be really proud of the effort here. 0-6 is really something, and it has to be tough not to just crumble under that, which they did not. It was a good day.

Also, though I know it just sealed our annhiliation, since we’re the next on OSU’s docket, that was quite a performance from Purdue. Good job Trains!

Dead_Read: I only listened to the game, but I just want to say it will be a relief not to “punch in” in the comments of this article. It looked like the offense played well, the defense got stops (and even a turnover!) when needed. Special teams problems persist, but progress was made on the penalty front. Winning is a whole lot better than losing.