MAILBAG! ANSWERS!

Which is the more tired/worn out/annoying demonstration after making a big play The “Feed Me”, or the “Shhhh” to the opposing crowd? - BradNortmansActingCoach

Thumpasaurus: It has to be the “feed me” simply because when the “SHHHHH” happens to YOU, it’s goddamn infuriating. That reaction wouldn’t be possible if this were worn out.

WSR: I think it’s the shhhhing the crowd. Personally, I’m here for any celebration that fat kids perform, and fat kids love to eat. If it’s RBs or WRs doing the feeding, I don’t appreciate it as much. But a 300-some pound DT getting up after beating a double-team on the line and a FB and then getting a TFL or sack? Let the big guy do whatever he wants to celebrate that.

Beez: I think they’re both pretty dumb, along with any celebration/gesture/whatever that only involves the head/neck area and your hands. There’s no way anyone in the stands can see what you’re doing, which means you’re just doing it for the cameras which, if you are a big school or in an important game, good job! Because the idiot broadcast producers will almost always give you a close up so we at home can see your dumb celebration. And if you’re not at a big school or in a big game...congrats? Nobody can tell what you’re doing.

Townie: I’m tired of them both. Get some new material. At least they stopped doing that fish-hook, tooth flash thing.

MNW: The “fish-hook, tooth-flash” thing?! I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it’s probably a good thing. Damn kids on my lawn.

Also, it’s the stupid bowl-feeding thing, in part for what beez notes. “Shhhhhh” is much better.

Take the bottom 8 teams in the B1G (Illinois, Nebraska, Minnesota, jNW, Purdue, rut, Indiana, and Maryland) and have them play a seeded tournament. Who comes out on top? - 87 Rides A Surfboard

Boilerman31: All of these teams are seriously flawed one way or another. Looking at that list right now, I’d go with Maryland. Outside of that aberration against Temple, they’ve looked halfway decent.

Candystripes: Jim Delany, because someone is going to have to pay to broadcast all of these games.

Beez: Northwestern.

MNW: This is how I feel, too. I sense it coming that soon, I’m going to pivot from “man, Northwestern fucking sucks” to “a few bad bounces, and the advanced stats really like us!”

I am sad.

Stew: How is this seeded? Because matchups matter. Let’s seed this by the most recent power poll.

1. MD
2. PU
3. IN
4. jNW
5. MN
6. IL
7. UNL
8. rut

So, we’ve got MD vs. rut: MD. PU vs. UNL, well, we know how that goes, PU goes through. IN vs. IL, I think this is closer than expected, but IN pulls through. And then we’ve got the strong dislike matchup. I think it’s a coinflip, but jNW pulls it out on some weird, dumb play. And MN has lost literally all their best players.

All the favorites win, in the first round. So we’ve got MD vs. jNW, and here I think MD just blows it, somehow, and Purdue wins the bucket. Well, now we’ve got jNW against PU, and we saw how that played out, already. Which means, jNW is your trash tourney winner!

LPW: Yep, my Cats won’t have a good season. Le Sigh

BRT: Pick ‘em between Purdue, Maryland, and Northwestern. I think Northwestern is the most likely “winner,” though now that Purdue has started to clean up its act a bit, I could be convinced to pick them. Maryland has the goods, but I think it’s likely in such a scenario that they’d just do something dumb. Just a gut feeling, don’t @ me.

WSR: My only question is if we’re playing with rosters from today or the start of the season? Because if we can have Smith and Winfield back and get them until we lose AWJ against Maryland, I think we could finish runner-up. Either way, Turtles win unless they lose to Rutgers because they’re a tisch schizophrenic.

Is James Franklin a bad coach? Or is he just a below average coach who made a bad playcall? - Detigers09

WSR: Good recruiter, bad coach.

Thumpasaurus: MegaZook, but without any of the qualities that made Zook genuinely likeable

Boilerman31: To use a basketball equivalent, I see Franklin as a Bruce Weber. Very good at attracting talent, average to below average at utilizing it.

Townie: Wow, did you come up with that all on your own? Nice job parroting literally every sports outlet for the past week. FYI, this was the best response: https://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2018/10/2/17924794/that-final-play-of-penn-state-ohio-state-illustrated

Beez: Great recruiter, seems like a fine coach, had a single moment that didn’t work out. But lol at all the super duper notatallmad PSUbros

MNW: He’s a better version of PJ Fleck with more talent on his roster.

Stew: I mostly agree with MNW. He’s a great recruiter, tries to hire the right people, and gets out of their way.

BRT: I agree with Beez’s take, including the hilarity of the PSUbros.

If you’re Scott Frost, what method do you use to get your team to become more disciplined? - Purdue19

WSR: Being that it’s Nebraska, it’s got to be some form of corporal punishment doesn’t it? I’m thinking he should probably try using the breadboard next.

Thumpasaurus: I would definitely tell them to stop acting like 13-year-olds and start playing the game like MEN.

Townie: Discipline isn’t the issue. Talent is.

BRT: Nah, Townie. Talent is certainly an issue, but if you watch a Nebraska game, you’ll also see that discipline is. Lots and lots of avoidable penalties and mistakes—that’s not a talent issue, that’s a where’s-your-head-at issue.

Anyway, I don’t know how to fix this issue, but I’m also not being paid millions of dollars to fix it, so I won’t lose too much sleep over that.

Beez: You get your team to play better and be more talented and well developed. With the exception of the rare occasion when Dantonio has a legit good team, actual good teams don’t take cheap shots or get in fights or taunt people.

Stew: Become the coach for a different team.

LPW: It’s his first year with a new squad, so he needs time to familiarize himself with them and start bringing in his players. He’ll get Nebraska turned around.

So Harbaugh said the refs told him they meant to call that holding on Higdon when he got tackled

In honor of that, what’s the worst call you’ve ever seen? - John_Connor

WSR: Ooooh! I’d say Harbaugh not getting the timeout he wanted at the end of the 2016 game to stop Claeys from outsmarting himself, but that could have led to Claeys being here long-term. So I’ll go with the hands to the face call in madison in 2014. While bullshit calls (and non-calls) go together with trips to madison like wisconsin fans and vomiting all over themselves in madison, this one was particularly egregious. We were driving again in the 2nd quarter with a 14-10 lead and were tearing through wisconsin like Paul Ryan through an orphanage’s budget when the refs decided to intervene and actually call a penalty on Tommy Olson on what would have been 1st and goal from the wisconsin 7. Instead it became 3rd and 17, Mitch Leidner Leidnered, we got a FG, and wisconsin was able to come back from a much less imposing deficit because Jerry Kill couldn’t just sit on the lead. And unsurprisingly the Gopher offense curled into the fetal position after this, afraid of being called for another penalty like “blocking a badger” or “playing football” while in madison.

Boilerman31: From this year’s Mizzou game: “Upon further review, the receiver never possessed the ball. It is an incomplete pass. 4th down, Purdue.”

Candystripes: The time that simultaneous possession was ruled an interception instead of a catch by the receiver because Michigan was on defense and it was in the Big House and Indiana is never allowed to win there ever (again?).

Thumpasaurus: Two come to mind. I’ve gone over the Nebraska fiasco from 2015 (https://illiniboard.com/2015/10/04/what-happened-on-that-play/) where they punished Illinois for a spotting error by correcting the downs after the fact. Thus, Illinois’ unsuccessful conversion on what was indicated to be third down was instead ruled an unsuccessful fourth down conversion. The other was from the 2009 game against Northwestern, where Jarred Fayson made a sliding catch on his back, at which point he was on his back with possession. Sherrick McManis dove on him and took the ball away as the play was whistled dead...because when you’re on your back with possession, you’re down and the play is over. Except in this case. This was not my first introduction to the bizarre phenomenon of Illinois getting worse calls at home than on the road, but it’s one of the most egregious ones that comes to mind.

Townie: 2005 vs Michigan. Game is over, PSU wins...but wait...Lloyd fucking Carr gets the refs to add time to the clock. They complete a pass for a touchdown and win the game.

MNW: Kain Colter got that first down. Get fucked, Ohio State.

LPW: What MNW said. Dammit all to hell.

Beez: That time D’Cota Dixon caused a fumble on an Iowa punt return and the refs called the runner down by contact even though he didn’t actually fall to the ground until 5+ yards after he fumbled. Or that super duper whinefest WSR cried about above.

BRT: I think adding one second back on the clock because one team begged them to is pretty high up there as far as I’m concerned. And while stuff like holds and facemasks get missed all the time, this one was a pretty noticeable miss:

Stew: Let me tell you the tale of the 2006 Outback Bowl. Iowa was in the middle of a furious comeback against a younger Shitheel O’Urbz when the CUSA refs put on a display so horrendous, that it made the NCAA re-evaluate how reffing crews were selected for bowl games.

Here are a couple screenshots of the two most egregious calls:

More insufferable fanbase? PennState after a big loss or Ohio State literally ever? - glassjawsh

Boilerman31: Iowa after any big win. You beat OSU. We got it.

Townie: Dude, Iowa. Holy hell. The LONG LEGEND period was over the top.

Beez: OSU is not more insufferable than PSU after a big win.

Stew: Whoa! Iowa beat OSU? Really?!?! We should tell people about that. That’s some pretty big news.

LPW: OSU fans are the worst. I actually find the fact virtually every sentence out of Stew includes a noun, verb, and 55-24 endearing.

BRT: I love that this particular poster asked this question. :) As far as OTE boards go, I think PSU outranks OSU in terms of obnoxiousness. But they’re all just minor league compared to the insufferability that is the Iowa fanbase when they are doing well. Obsessions are dwelt upon, facts are altered (one told me just the other day their high point was their 12-0 season... which, as we all know, was a 12-2 season, but who’s counting? Not Iowa fans.), Kirk Ferentz tattoos are commissioned. Never have so many been so proud of so little.

WSR: wisconsin fans when breathing are the worst. Undefeated Iowa fans get the silver, right ahead of Michigan fans on days of the week that end in “y.”

What compromising pictures of Fitz does Mick McCall have to retain his employment?

Extra credit for visual evidence. - GTom

WSR: It’s Pat and the Willie the Wildcat in a rather compromising position. Or 6 compromising positions.

Thumpasaurus: Probably what happens is that every time Fitz asks Mick McCall what he really thinks his future should be like, McCall brings up the guy he replaced as offensive coordinator and Fitz realizes he’s much better off this way than risking another Garrick McGee

Beez: Probably a picture of Fitz preparing and serving his own breakfast in bed or something.

Which B1G team currently at 3-1/4-1 will not make a bowl, and why is it Minnesota? - HoyaGoon

WSR: Minnesota’s not a terrible bet. Losing Winfield for the season could be a bigger hit than we can withstand, even if we do still have Illinois, Nebraska, and Iowa on the schedule. But in the east, you could make a case for both Indiana or Michigan. Both have quite a few ugly games left, but both may still overcome that. Imagine, if you will, that all the B1G teams that are currently 3-1 or 4-1 make a bowl game. Scary, isn’t it?

Candystripes: You misspelled Indiana, Hoya.

Townie: Yeah, I’m going to agree with Minny. That loss to Maryland was a shocker.That leaves one likely win - Illinois. There are two others that are possible wins - Nebraska and Purdue. But the fact is that Frost and Brohm are better coaches. They will have their teams fired up. It’ll be tough sledding. They get Nebraska at home, which helps. That said, I could see them finishing out the season with one win.

BRT: Re: above, Minnesota actually goes to Lincoln this season, not the other way around, but given how Nebraska is playing right now, this shouldn’t matter too much. Still, I like the Minnesota choice—injuries of impact, and probably getting a deceivingly strong start to the season make them an attractive candidate here.

**LONG RAMBLING INTRODUCTION** ...would Big 10 fans trade Rutgers for any of the following: (a) UConn (NE market, some hoops tradition to package with football not exactly that much more embarrassing than Rutgers); (b) Buffalo (WNY market, NFL stadium for big games, close to Toronto market); © Iowa State (well, we do need a body and Purdue can always move into the east); (d) nobody (stick with 15 teams); or (e) for Rutgers (in other words, maintain the status quo). - ezcuse

Boilerman31: I’m sorry, 15 teams? Did I miss something? I’ll take anyone with a pulse over that school of which we no longer cover here until further notice from MNW.

Candystripes: I would trade Rutgers for “free Big Ten Network for the OTE ‘writers’ for life.”

Boilerman31: This feels like it’d be a punishment if we don’t “watch” the games.

Beez: No, no, mayyyyybe but probably no, your mama’s favorite team is so fat it counts as two teams?, and ugh I guess. I’d rather stick with the situation we have than potentially exacerbate it.

If Purdue beats OSU, who gets **redacted for taste** by Alabama in replacement of them - Purdue19

Boilerman31: Pump the brakes, let’s get past Illinois first.

Townie: hysterical laughter.gif

Beez: If all you’re talking about is Purdue beating OSU...OSU still gets to face Bama. Wisconsin is going to win the West and is not anywhere close to 2018 OSU. OSU already beat PSU, will beat UM, and will clownstomp Maryland. 12-1 OSU with wins over PSU, UM, Maryland, Wisconsin, and TCU goes to the playoff as the 4 seed and is down 20 at half to Bama.

BRT: Wow, y’all went full Iowa in a hurry there, didn’t you? Never go full Iowa. But yeah, you just beat an 0-4 team—while that’s very nice for you, I’m not sure it is quite as conclusive of greatness as you seem to imply with this question.

WSR: For the love of all that is good and holy, please let West Fuckin’ Virginia stay healthy, win the Big XII, and get the 4th spot if tOSU were to lose. Please. We could all use more Dana Holgorson in our lives.

Floyd of Rosedale and the Wisconsin-Nebraska “Freedom Trophy” are both up for grabs this week. Among the Big Ten’s plethora of rivalry trophies, does everyone agree that Floyd is the best and the stupid, fugly “Freedom Trophy” is the worst? - Hollywood Hawk Hogan

Boilerman31: Floyd is the most Iowa trophy in that it is unique but probably smells like hogshit.

Candystripes: Floyd is the best at looking like a pig. That said, if the trophy doesn’t have the word Old in its name, I’m not interested.

Stew: Yes

WSR: Obviously.

BRT: Floyd is pretty good, although the Chair is better—but since it sadly isn’t formally recognized, that’s a demerit. Freedom Trophy is absolutely the worst. Dumb, uninspired trophy design, with a meaningless pablum of a patriotic label stuck to it because America. Just about all of the worst parts of American sport rolled into one stupid trophy.

Why are dumb fans obsessed with ASKING THE TOUGH QUESTIONS in press conferences? - MountainTiger

Townie: For Meyer, they are ALL TOUGH QUESTIONS.

Beez: It’s crazy how people still think press conference, in sports, politics, or whatever, are useful avenues for getting information.

WSR: Because they’re dumb. The only people worth a damn in most press conferences are afraid of losing their credentials so they won’t ask anything.

If Jim Delaney kept adding schools to the BigTen,how many more Rutgers would it take to surpass how big a mistake it was to add Penn State? - travesty

Boilerman31: Penn State is at least a value add and somewhat fits the B1G footprint, rutgre does not. Next question.

Candystripes: If by “add Penn State” you mean “add an eleventh team to the Big Ten”, then we’re well past that point. Otherwise, I think you’ve got the schools in this question backwards.

Stew: As long as they’re all midwestern schools, we could probably get all the way to Knox College.

WSR: I still don’t understand how Penn State is a bad fit in the B1G other than geographically. Is it because of the whole name/math thing? If so, we should have just kicked Michigan State out. Is it the whole crimes thing and covering them up? Because they definitely don’t have the market cornered there. Is it because of their fans being insane? Once again: not unique. PSU’s been a fine addition to the conference on a few different levels, and I’m still pretty happy they’re here. Now let’s revisit the plan to make them move between 150-200 miles to either the North, East, or West so they’re somewhere inside civilization.

Does anyone else read the comments on other teams’ blogs after they lose? You know, for fun/schadenfreude? It’s one of my favorite college football pastimes in the digital age. The comments in the kneejerk recap post are usually good, but the comments in the gamethread as people react to their team blowing a close game in real time? Priceless. - JimboSlice

Boilerman31: No, mostly because I wish to maintain some sense of dignity. Reading the often blatant homerism of team blogs is bad enough (which makes this place near and dear to my heart as others never hesitate to knock other teams down a notch). Reading the comments? Pass. Hard.

Candystripes: There’s this new-fangled invention called Twitter where you can do this in real time. Highly recommend.

Townie: Depends on the team, but yes. Pitt fans are particularly salty and clueless.

MNW: I could’ve sworn we had an article around here that aggregates those for me.

LPW: I’ll get back to writing it MNW

Beez: I’ll read MSU and Maryland blogs on very, very rare occasion when one of their basketball teams loses a hilarious game, but that’s about it. There’s too much else to read on the internet.

Stew: I’ve been known to skim a meltdown article, or two.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCQGQ5qBQTA

WSR: So apparently by typing in either the letters “Bu”, “Bl”, or “Co” my work computer autofills the other three Quadrangle of Hate teams’ SBN sites into the browser. Who knew?

Does the sellout streak end this year? What technically is a sellout anyways? - Badgers & Bruins

Thumpasaurus: Bill Self.

Beez: A sellout is when friendless losers get mad because they band that they stumbled across previously gets famous for actually making good music and they “sellout” by...getting more fans I guess. Key to the “hurr durr sellout!” is whining that their music was better or different before they sold out, when in reality what you mean is either (a) the music stayed exactly the same, or (b) they got better recording and mixing equipment so their tracks don’t sound like shit.

Stew: A sellout is when you sell massive blocks of tickets for next to nothing to local boosters and businesses to keep up a streak who’s only meaning is to keep the fanbase feeling superior and worthy of Best Fan™ status.

BRT: The best part about Stew’s answer is that he was bragging the other day about the “super clever trolling” of a beer distributor in Iowa who plastered something on the side of a cooler about... Nebraska football being bad. It’s easy to feel superior when your neighboring fanbases are so pathetically obsessed that a marketing company knows it can sell more beer by referencing a different team rather than your own in your home state. Like... there’s 0-4 sad and pathetic, and then there’s THAT kind of sad and pathetic.

WSR: A pretty good song by Reel Big Fish, but not quite as good as Drunk Again or their cover of Take On Me from the Baseketball soundtrack.