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I can no longer seek out Illinois football to feel better about myself

Thank God for Nebraska

NCAA Football: Penn State at Illinois Mike Granse-USA TODAY Sports

Like most, ok nearly all, ok all of you, my life sucks. I muddle through it the best I can with the help of booze and athletics, like all of you. And to clarify, not our own athletics, vicariously through the athletic achievements of others. Let’s be honest, achievements are fun, but the real reason we watch sports is to see failure, to feel better about ourselves.

Very few teams in the Big Ten have sucked as bad as the Illini. Since 2012, they have managed a winning record exactly zero times. They sniffed .500 a few times, but failed, like most everything else. Even their one bowl appearance was in the Heart of Dallas Bowl. I don’t even know what that means. The suck is so bad, the Illini faithful wish they could return to the 7-6 glory and happy times of the beginning of the decade.

Along came Lovie Smith and his NFL experience, and pretty solid winning percentage as an NFL coach. Throw in his ability to lead a Rex Grossman led team to the Super Bowl, and it was a recipe for disaster. 3-9 and 2-10 seasons later, all was going as predicted. To the shock of many, Lovie got another year in Champaign. To the shock of nearly everyone not named James Snyder, he has turned a corner.

We are five games into this season and the Illini have a winning record. Sure, we can knock the schedule, but the previous decade the Illini didn’t need a strong schedule to suck. Anyone can see this team is much better than they have been in over 10 years. The question is, can the Illini grab three more wins and make a bowl? Let’’s do a poll!

And for the record, Purdue, Wisconsin, Maryland, Minnesota, Nebraska, Iowa, and Northwestern remain.


Can Illinois win three of their remaining games and make a bowl game?

This poll is closed

  • 30%
    (132 votes)
  • 36%
    Sure, why not?
    (156 votes)
  • 17%
    Who cares?
    (75 votes)
  • 16%
    I still can’t stop LMFAO at Lovie’s beard
    (70 votes)
433 votes total Vote Now