There’s Big Ten basketball happening! No, really!
...look, one of the bits with OTE Basketball coverage is that it’s going to be spotty, erratic, and really detailed on stome things while lacking a scintilla of detail on your favorite team. As always, remember that this is totally intentional, meant to hurt you specifically, and definitely journalism for which we do not charge you nearly enough.
Anyway, some games have happened! Others are about to happen! If you’d like to know about them, read on. There’s a Watch Guide to the next two days in B1G Hoops, if you care, at the bottom of this article.
Where they at? Maui! Great place. I love Maui.
Tournament? You bet! Maui Jim Maui Invitational. I love Maui Jim.
Do you love anything else? I love my bicycle.
How’d they do? uh
L, #3 Gonzaga Bulldogs, 84-78
L, Iowa St. Cyclones, 84-68
That doesn’t seem good? It’s not.
Can I help? Probably not.
Up Next: 7th place game vs. Xavier Musketeers
8pm | ESPNU | X -1 | O/U 162.5
Where they at? Bloomington, I’d assume
Tournament? “Hardwood Showcase”
That doesn’t sound like a—it’s not a real tournament.
How’d they do? Fine.
def. UT-Arlington Mavericks, 78-64
 Iowa Hawkeyes (4-0, KP 33)
Where they at? Iowa City.
Normal game? Yup.
Anyone good? Nope.
Up Next: vs. Alabama State Hornets
7:30pm | BTN
Maryland Terrapins (5-0, KP 37)
I really thought Mark Turgeon had lost at least one of those games to mid-majors. Anyway, they’re taking the holiday off.
 Michigan State Spartans (3-1, KP 12)
Where they at? Las Vegas!
Tournament: Continental Tire Las Vegas Holiday Invitational
Who they got? I’ll show you:
Seems like a good tournament. How will they do? I dunno. Probably second to UNC.
Up Next: vs.  UCLA Bruins
Thursday, 9pm | FS1
 Michigan Wolverines (5-0, KP 7)
I don’t think they did anything. Take this one off, Bold Heading Guy.
Minnesota Golden Gophers (4-0, KP 45)
Where they at? Vancouver, and even they think Minnesotans ought to dial back the accents.
Tournament: TCL Vancouver Showcase
How’d they do? Pretty well, so far!
def. Texas A&M, 69-64
def. Santa Clara Broncos, 80-66
Anything fun happen? HELL YEAH IT DID HERB SENDEK LOST HIS FUCKING MIND AND TOOK THREE TECHNICALS IN A GAME
I didn’t think you coul—NO YOU SURE CAN’T
Up Next: vs. Washington Huskies (4-1, KP 48)
Wednesday, 5:30pm | BTN | UW -1 | O/U 148
Nebraska Cornhuskers (4-1, KP 31)
Where they at? Kansas City.
Tournament? Hall of Fame Classic
How’d they do? Runners-up! Not bad!
We got some brief commentary from BRT and Jesse during the game:
Jesse: They’re just playing really dumb. It’s frustrating because they aren’t this much worse than this Tech team.
They’re letting the physical, slow-down pace fuck with them.
BRT: Their give-a-damn seems to be busted.
So great to know we’re playing against the most genius coach in the country though.
This is the frustrating part of Nebrasketball. When they play like this. Ah well.
All in all, a pretty run-of-the-mill outing for the Huskers, who lost to no one bad but beat no one good.
Northwestern Wildcats (3-0, KP 47)
Where they at? Fullerton, CA.
Tournament? No, they’re just really fond of spending Thanksgiving in quaternary California university towns.
... YES IT’S THE FUCKING WOODEN LEGACY TOURNAMENT
Huh. That doesn’t seem like the best—it’s not. Per Kenpom:
La Salle Explorers (0-4, KP 192)
Miami-Florida Hurricanes (3-0, KP 22)
Fresno State Bulldogs (1-1, KP 115)
Seton Hall Pirates (1-2, KP 59)
Grand Canyon Antelopes (3-1, KP 131)
Hawaii Warriors (3-1, KP 211)
Utah Utes (2-1, KP 70)
Any fun storylines? Well I’m happy you asked. [This is the part where MNW writes about Northwestern basketball; feel free to skip it.]
Former Northwestern G Isiah Brown transferred to Grand Canyon to play for Dan Majerle, and while I’m not sure if he wasn’t happy with his playing time or Chris Collins or what, I’d be curious to see how they receive each other. Granted, it’s unlikely they’ll meet, but I suppose you never know.
Anyway, Northwestern faces Fresno on Thanksgiving Day. The Bulldogs dropped a tight one to #18 TCU and blew out one of my favorite basketball programs, D-II Alaska-Anchorage, so we’re not entirely sure what to do with them. The Bulldogs have a deep rotation of smaller guards led by 6’4” senior Braxton Huggins (20.5 ppg), who looks to be a volume chucker mostly concentrated on that part of the stat line. After him New Williams has a stroke from deep, and the length of F Nate Grimes could give them trouble. Dribble penetration will be a key for the ‘Cats, who have stagnated at points on offense. Vic Law and Dererk Pardon drive this sucker, though, and maybe Ryan Taylor will shoot a good game this week.
After that it’s Miami. I’ll assume a loss there, with a win over Utah in the 3rd place game.
God, that was boring. NO ONE ASKED YOU.
Up Next: vs. Fresno State Bulldogs
Thursday, 3:30pm | ESPNU
 Ohio State Buckeyes (5-0, KP 29)
Where they at? Home.
Tournament? “Buckeye Classic” aka not a real tournament just an excuse to play shitty home games at home
How’d they do? Fine.
def. Samford Bulldogs, 68-50
Penn State Nittany Lions (3-1, KP 34)
Where they at? Cancun! Lovely there.
Tournament? Cancun Challenge.
Is that one of those in a ballroom? Probably.
You know, I once played basketball in a church auditori—I really don’t get this bit.
Fine. How’d they do? Jury’s out!
def. Wright State Raiders, 77-59
Up Next: vs. Bradley Braves (4-1, KP 104)
7:30pm | CBSSN
Should they win? Yep.
Purdue Boilermakers (4-1, KP 14)
Where they at? No idea.
Did they play? Not since losing to VaTech in Charleston.
Good talk? Not really.
Rutgers Scarlet Knights (3-1, KP 118)
Where they at? Home.
Tournament? Not really, but they call it the Hub City Classic.
How’d they do? Finally, they did something redeeming:
#SingleDigitWatch ACHIEVED! Good job, rutgre.
 Wisconsin Badgers (3-0, KP 16)
Where they at? Atlantis! Or the Bahamas. I’m never sure.
Tournament? The BAD BOY MOWERS Battle 4 Atlantis
Are the caps really necessary? Look we’re kinda up against the clock here.
Fine, but who’s playing in the tourney? Look at the bracket your damn self:
Up Next: vs. Stanford Cardinal
1pm | ESPN2 | uw -8 | O/U 141
That’s a good lineup. Are those teams decent? I don’t know, ask Kenpom:
Florida Gators (2-1, KP 27)
Oklahoma Sooners (3-0, KP 41)
Stanford Cardinal (2-1, KP 87)
Butler Bulldogs (3-0, KP 32)
Dayton Flyers (3-0, KP 103)
Virginia Cavaliers (3-0, KP 4)
Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders (3-1, KP 63)
How will they finish? I’d bet 3rd place.
That’s what I’ve got for you. Here’s your basketball and other things open thread for the next couple of days.