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Iowa beats Nebraska, 31-28

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A conversation

Nebraska v Iowa Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images

On Black Friday, the University of Iowa Hawkeyes defeated the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers in American college football by a score of 31 to 28, on a kicked field goal as time expired. This was not at all a frustrating game to watch by either fanbase.*

What follows is a very real** conversation between every fan of these two teams.

Iowa fan: Woo! Four in a row! These seniors never lost to UNL!

UNL fan: Nice job, you barely beat one of our worst teams of all time. Enjoy it while it lasts, this’ll be the last one for a LONG time.

Iowa fan: What’s something that you’ve said the last 4 years, Alex?

Iowa fan: I mean, you know that’s just not accurate, but nice trolling. And UNL and Iowa have the same ceiling, so nice self own, there.

UNL fan: At least we have expectations for our team! You’ve never won anything. No wonder you get off so hard on a four-season win streak.

Iowa fan: And there it is, 5 NASHNUL CHAMPSHIPS! Congrats, you’re 71.42% as good as Minnesota.

UNL fan: blah, blah, blah Complacency

Iowa fan: Yada, yada, yada, realistic expectations

Repeat ad nauseam, while throwing in references to steroids, contracts, Laurence Phillips, steroids, etc.

Here’s the thing.

UNL fans, the 90’s ain’t coming back. I see a lot of you say that you realize that, but then also make fun of Iowa for complacency and that UNL fans have championship standards. Like winning 4 in a row shouldn’t count because, duh, UNL was bad. Only the good years should count. And since UNL hasn’t been nationally relevant in 20 years, none of those years we’re just going to gloss over those. The only thing that counts are the 90’s and the future, when, inevitably, UNL will regain its rightful place on top of the college football world, and never lose to Iowa again. This is dumb. I know it’s hard, but don’t be dumb.

Iowa fans, UNL is, historically, a MUCH better football program. It’s really not that close. They’re proud of that, and many still remember those glory days. Of fucking course they’re going to bring it up. Also, UNL is going to beat Iowa again, probably within the next couple of seasons. They will go on runs back to national relevance. Smart money is that this will happen under Frost, and probably fairly soon. The improvement throughout this season is quite obvious. It’s ok to admit this. Also, fucking stop with saying every other game is the opponent’s superb owl. This is dumb. Don’t be dumb.

Anyway, I hope this saves us all from slogging through literally hundreds of unnecessary comments. It won’t.

Fuck Nebraska.

*Yes, it was.

**fake