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What to watch on Netflix instead of the Big Ten Championship, and what’s your greatest drunk purchase?

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Mailbag Part 2 tackles drunk shopping on Amazon, getting into bar fights with Thumpasaurus, and what to watch on Netflix instead of the Big Ten Championship.

Rent DVDs at Netflix.com Photo By Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

We gave you enough to wet your whistle on in the football mailbag (check it out!), so we decided to double back and talk about the fun stuff on Friday.

Today we’ve got drunk shopping, drinking with OTE writers, and Netflix recommendations rather than watching OSU beat the crap out of Northwestern in the Big Ten Championship on Saturday.

What is your most recent or most noteworthy drunk purchase? - pkloa

WSR: My most noteworthy drunk purchase would be a dozen bright pink lawn flamingos, because I needed to put them up. Did I mention it was February in Minnesota? That feels like it might be an important detail in regards to the stupidity.

Creighton: I recently had a package arrive from Amazon that contained a box of glowsticks, a shower curtain with a little slot to hold my phone so I can use it in the shower, and a case of Surge tall boys, which they apparently still make.

Beez: Most recent? Uh...either another drink or the Sid Meier’s Collection from HumbleBundle, which included Civ IV and V, with expansions, plus Pirates!, an underratedly awesome game. (WSR note: Pirates! really is awesome. I may need to take out my Genesis and play it this weekend.)

babaoreally: I am ignoring the question to tell a story about Pirates! My brother and his friends rented it for Nintendo from Duffy’s and played it all night one time. He said they named their guy Pibb, so these guys at the tavern say, “It’s that hardy sea dog, Mr. Pibb!” From that point on, my number one go to video game name is Pibb.

BRT: I’ve only been drunk a couple of times in my life, and I don’t think I purchased anything. Don’t worry, I’m still an irresponsible shopper--I’m sure if I did make a habit of drunk shopping, I’d probably buy all sorts of cutesy crap on Etsy or something.

MNW: I’ll tell the story of when my now-wife and I started dating. (Buckle in.)

We’d gone on a date and a half in April and May since kind-of meeting over Skype with my high school best friend way back in January. (She went to school near the Twin Cities, I was at Northwestern.) It was June and she was home for the summer, but I had a couple weeks left. We’d been texting a lot, but not sure it was going anywhere, and we were both kind of upset about it.

My fraternity had a brothers event on a Friday night at a now-closed Chicago-area Italian restaurant that was [/kisses fingers] and, if you can believe this, despite being just 19 I got rather drunk on table wine and the occasional drink slipped to me. Cue texting her while shitfaced, calling her from my (single) dorm room at like, 2am, then passing out. Whatever -- it was the Friday before Finals. Not a big deal.

When I woke up the next morning, I noticed my laptop was open on my desk, so I fired it up...and saw round-trip MegaBus tickets to and from the Twin Cities, leaving the morning of June 6 and returning the morning of June 7. I sheepishly texted her what I’d done, asking her if she did, in fact, want me to come to the Twin Cities. (There was no way I could tell my parents my dipshit stunt, so I was going to be adrift in Minneapolis for about 20 hours with nowhere to stay.)

Long story longer, we had about a 14-hour date (downtown Stillwater, dinner in Woodbury, going to a hill in Maplewood where you could see St. Paul and Minneapolis), I was smuggled into her house and smuggled back out at 4:45am (she had a “spin class at the Y”) to make my MegaBus, I wrote a paper on the bus ride back for Kate Masur’s Civil War and Reconstruction class, and I’m pretty sure I got at least an A- on it.

...oh, and June 6 was our anniversary until we got married in April. Pretty good drunk purchase.

Which other OTE “writer” would you want to have a drink with and what will you be drinking? - HoustonBoiler

Thumpasaurus: Whichever ones come to the MACTIONSHIP GAME with me! So...MNW and Andrew.

Creighton: I would say Thump, but at some point he’ll want to switch to Malort, so instead I’ll say Stewmonkey because he’s got some awesome beers in his cellar that I’ll pressure him into opening.

MNW: Yeah, there are a few different kinds of drinking I’d want to do with various OTE writers.

  • Drunk in a library-style Irish pub -- BRT, to sit and bandy back and forth about Midwestern history and teaching and the like.
  • Drunk at a wine bar -- Brian strikes me as the kind of guy with whom you’d toss back a few dry reds while sitting near a boardwalk overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I don’t know if that’s remotely true, but I’d absolutely do it.
  • Drunk at a tailgate/stadium -- have done this with WSR a number of times, Stew a few times, and AK once, can confirm it’s a good time once they finally stop throwing beer cans at you. Someday I’ll get the chance to do this with everyone. Also fuck Mike Jones, wherever he is. He knows what he did.
  • Drunk at a tiki bar -- Townie, because he knows the owner and gets us free rum punch or whatever old men (sorry, buddy) on islands drink when they’re wearing short-sleeve button-up Tommy Bahama shirts, board shorts, and flip-flops. (I am going on my honeymoon in two weeks and this is exactly what I’ve packed—with a Panama hat!—and I’m so excited.)
  • Drunk in a bar fight -- Thump and Creighton, because we’ll have hit the Malort and I can totally abrogate responsibility of my faculties for whatever happens next.
  • Drunk with the whole damn zoo here -- We always kick about an OTE meet-up, and I’d love to actually make that happen someday, but geography is what it is. So goes life. But if ever we did, I’d want it to be at a brewery like Schell’s or New Glarus or something, with a huuuuge outdoor space and fires crackling and the whole nine yards. Just get shitty in the woods with a bunch of degenerates who write about weird football things like millennials killing the Big XII and nail polish.

Beez: Probably MNW and WSR so we can drown our Minnesota Twins sorrows and consider it resolved that, while New Glarus has some great beers, Spotted Cow is the Texas football of beers.

BRT: I’ve had drinks with DeadRead, WSR, and AndrewKracklepopski this fall, and found them all amiable companions. I’d really enjoy drinking with MNW for some shop talk and student horror stories, and I think I’d have a great time with Creighton and Beez too. We’d either be drinking craft beer, or finding a good cocktail bar. With Beez, we’d probably be drinking beer and binge-watching Parks and Rec.

LPW: Given I’ve had drinks (or met with) with current or former writers MNW, G43, Mike Jones, Hillary Lee, Chad Bell, Insertname, Boilerman, Brian Gillis, McClappy, Thump, Andrew Krazpolishzhefski, babaoreally, and Aaron Yorke, I’d like to have drinks with everyone else on the masthead to complete the set. I’d love to share some high quality Chicago beer with them, and only Malört if they’re feeling brave. There’s some excellent bars in Chicago that we can all have a blast in, my most favorite being the Local Option. I met Thump there after we somehow managed to run a 5 or 10k in august heat and survived.

babaoreally: Vanilla Cokes with Candystripes.

Because we all know what’s about to happen Saturday night in Indy and have no interest, do you have any good Netflix movies/shows I can bingewatch out of boredom? SharpDressedBoiler

WSR: I can tell you that I would recommend against watching the Great British Baking Show, unless you wanted to fire up your breadmaker at 1 in the morning because you just can’t get something out of your head and you want to see if you can pull off something for breakfast the next morning.

Creighton: There are 6 new episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, along with a pretty good selection of classic episodes.

Beez: Haunting of Hill House, which was both scary and excellent (recency bias be damned!). I also can always watch Parks & Rec again and again and again.

BRT: If you haven’t seen Parks & Rec, you absolutely should (but either skip the first season, or commit to watching into the second--the first six shows are a lot different and inferior to the rest of the series.) Jane the Virgin is also pretty hilarious, though I’m a couple seasons behind. Rogelio de la Vega is a national treasure. #rogeliomybrogelio

babaoreally: The Good Place on Netflix. Bosch if you have Amazon Prime.


There you have our recommendations! Feel free to offer your own in the comments.