Can you guys believe we are in Week 10 already? This season is going by fast, and given my particular fandom... I welcome the speed and want to get this season over as quickly as possible. One week at a time though and, as always, it’s another week and another Big Ten Power Poll!
Now this may be the hardest power poll I’ve ever done, simply because narrowing down the incredibly rich list of movie monsters, creatures, and aliens was an incredibly difficult task. Even the smallest online lists of “best/iconic movie monsters” go no lower than 20 listed monsters. The 14 movie monsters I chose below encompass a variety of genres including straight horror, sci-fi, fantasy, comedy, and disaster. Movie monsters based on real animals are included because some of the most iconic movie monsters are just scarier versions of real life animals. Here, “Movie Monster” indicates some creature/being which possesses deadly or destructive behavior. I’m confident you are all familiar with most of these wonderfully iconic aspects of film, so without further adieu, I give you the Movie Monster Power Poll! Aaaaand ACTION!
1. Michigan Wolverines: Xenomorph
Last Week: #1 | High: 1 | Low: 1 | | Change: 0 | First Place Votes: 16 out of 16
“You still don’t understand what you’re dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.”
“You admire it.”
“I admire its purity. A survivor... unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.”
Definitely 2018 Michigan. Also relevant to Michigan —> “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”
2. Ohio State Buckeyes: Godzilla
Last Week: #2 | High: 2 | Low: 4 | Change: 0
The most classic Kaiju monster. Godzilla, since its creation in 1954, has gone through numerous iterations of malevolent, benevolent, easily defeated, hard to defeat, and incredibly varied sizes. For simplicity’s sake, let’s consider the original 1954 Godzilla. Disturbed by nuclear testing, this 50 meter tall marine and terrestrial reptilian monster laid waste to a good chunk of Tokyo before being destroyed by the Japanese Military. Ohio State has dominated the B1G for years. This season the Buckeyes have finally seen some defeat after their metaphoric city destruction run.
3. Michigan State Spartans: The Thing
Last Week: #6 | High: 2 | Low: 8 | Change: +3
A deadly Alien shapeshifter that crashed to Earth and was frozen in Antarctic ice. The Thing can absorb and copy the DNA of any life-form it consumes, allowing it to take on its appearance, memories, and mannerisms causing fearful confusion and panic among the members of the Norwegian research station which it attacked and eventually destroyed. Overall, The Thing pretty accurately captures the enigma that is Michigan State Football.
4. Purdue Boilermakers: IT
Last Week: #8 | High: 3 | Low: 7 | Change: +4
A terrifying inter-dimensional and shapeshifting creature that prefers to feast on the frightened flesh of children. IT is a deadly foe… when it is not hibernating. It wakes from hibernation once about every 30 years to wreak havoc on the region of the small town it calls its home. Purdue has clearly just been hibernating and awakened with Jeff Brohm.
5. Northwestern Wildcats: Predator
Last Week: #5 | High: 3 | Low: 8 | Change: 0
Deadly alien hunters with advanced technology and a ritualistic hunting code where to become “blooded”/worthy, they will hunt “worthy” prey. Predators, or Yautja, usually do not kill unarmed potential prey, as there’s no sport in doing such. In spite of their technology and formidable nature, it seems that something as simple as mud can mask potential targets from them, and they seem to be fairly easily defeated by humans without guns. However, just like their advanced invisibility cloaks preventing you from seeing them coming before they kill you, I don’t think anyone saw Northwestern coming in and placing itself atop the B1G West this year either.
6. Penn State Nittany Lions: King Kong
Last Week: #3 | High: 2 | Low: 8 | Change: -3
King Kong is a classic. An absurdly gigantic, bipedal primate monster with a particular soft spot for blondes, King Kong was just a giant ape doing his thing on Skull Island, battling dinosaurs and other monsters until he was ripped from his home and made to be a Broadway show. He escapes of course and goes on a rampage in 1930’s New York City, killing dozens. We all know the famous demise of King Kong, his final stand atop the Empire State Building, taken down by planes, but ah, it was not the airplanes. “It was beauty killed the beast.” Indeed, the beauty that is Michigan Football killed the beast. Every story that King Kong passed as it fell dead to the ground was 2.43 points scored by Michigan.
7. Wisconsin Badgers: Shark from Jaws
Last Week: #7 | High: 3 | Low: 9 | Change: 0
A terrifying, semi-realistic marine monster. This Great White Shark inflicts fear from underneath the waves. However, its later reveal leaves much to be desired and the exposure removes a bit of the fear aspect. The initial fear we all had of Wisconsin at the beginning of the season can be likened to the shark prior to its reveal. However, we’re definitely in post-shark reveal stage for the Badgers now, but then again that cheesy looking shark still brutally killed Shaw and wrecked his boat.
8. Iowa Hawkeyes: Jurassic Park T-Rex
Last Week: #4 | High: 4 | Low: 9 | Change: -4
The T-Rex from the original Jurassic Park certainly deserves a spot on any movie monster list. Although Rexy, as she is now called since the Jurassic World reboot, is probably the only monster on this list truly without an outwardly negative agenda in spite of the victims she has claimed. As Dr. Grant put it in the film, “they just do what they do.” That’s pretty much Iowa this season. Just doing their thing and being pretty darn good at it.
9. Maryland Terrapins: Cloverfield Monster
Last Week: #9 | High: 9 | Low: 10 | Change: 0
Another giant Kaiju, “Clover” as this monster has been dubbed by fans is actually a baby version of some unknown deep sea creature which was disturbed by human activity that emerged from the Atlantic Ocean and laid waste to Manhattan. It was defeated by a mega-scale military bombing which also destroyed the island in the process. Maryland Football, in spite of all the off-field happenings, has had a solid season thus far, and that baby aspect of Clover is analogous to Maryland’s newly adjusted coaching situation.
10. Nebraska Cornhuskers: Graboids
Last Week: #10 | High: 8 | Low: 12 | Change: 0
From the movie Tremors, these giant subterranean worms have long tentacles which “grab” unfortunate prey from the surface to drag into their deadly jaws. In the film, these tentacles were mistaken for the full creature, a deadly miscalculation for the main human characters. Over this past weekend, Ohio State seems to have miscalculated Nebraska and almost fell victim to the Huskers. I think the whole conference has been underestimating and been unaware of the giant carnivorous worm underneath Nebraskan soil. These monsters have a complex, multi-stage life cycle too. Maybe Nebraska is just metamorphosing.
11. Illinois Fighting Illini: Anaconda
Last Week: #13 | High: 9 | Low: 13 | Change: +2
An exceptionally huge Amazonian snake, the Anaconda spends its time terrorizing a documentary film crew all of whom were essentially kidnapped by a crazed snake hunter looking to use the crew to help him catch and sell the beast. The Anaconda in this film is a cheesy knock off of a real anaconda essentially given angry eyebrows. Though, let’s be honest, there’s a surprisingly high number of moments in life where it’s the right time to watch a giant snake terrorize J-Lo and Ice Cube. The 2018 Illinois team is definitely the Anaconda and watching them beat down Minnesota this past weekend was entertaining.
12. Indiana Hoosiers: Frankenstein’s Monster
Last Week: #12 | High: 10 | Low: 13 | Change: 0
This list would not be complete without one of the most famous movie monsters. This monster, a terrifying amalgamation of deceased human body parts, is originated from an attempt by Dr. Frankenstein to create human life. This monster, confused at its place in the world, is both innocent and deadly, demonstrating good, even playful behavior, but it also murdered some people. Frankenstein’s monster is eventually killed by fire set by angry, vengeful, fearful villagers. In the same vein of the monster not knowing what it is doing in the world, I give you Indiana Football.
13. Minnesota Golden Gophers: Mike Wazowski
Last Week: #11 | High: 11 | Low: 14 | Change: -2 | Last Place Votes: 1 out of 16
Mike Wazowski is a lovable one eyed monster who has an important role in Monsters Inc. where he assists his co-worker and best pal, Sully, in doing his professional scare work. As we learned in the movie Monsters University, Mike wanted so badly to be a scarer, but he just didn’t have it in him. However, Mike’s more fitting role of enabling the naturally talented scarers is very similar to Minnesota’s role in the B1G West this year. This past weekend, Minnesota really went out of its way to help a budding team, Illinois, get a dominating win. Way to go Minnesota!
14. Rutgers Scarlet Knights: Cenobites
Last Week: #14 | High: 13 | Low: 14 | | Change: 0 | Last Place Votes: 15 out of 16
The Cenobites are group of mutilated and mutant-looking extra-dimensional beings that practice a supernatural form of hedonism manifested through the expansion of sensation to an extremely painful point of sensory overload and enduring excruciating pain through incessant tortures that transcend traditional laws of physics. They exist in a sadomasochistic version of hell and they inflict this experience onto those who summon them by opening an ornate puzzle box called the Lament Configuration. Now I know you might be thinking, “this is too cool for Rutgers,” but see the Cenobites represent what Rutgers does to Rutgers Fans. Rutgers Football is pain. Yet, Rutgers Football fans somehow still watch this team week after week.