There’s basketball happening this week! (Most of it will not be pretty. Talk about it here.)

When Michigan-Penn State is the feature game in a slate of nine games, that’s not good.

Monday

Maryland Terrapins (18-11, 7-9) at Northwestern Wildcats (15-13, ni-ce)

6pm | FS1 | NU -2 | O/U 132

DJ Carver: Theme of the week is two day turn around you don’t say? Maryland has one of those as they travel to NW tonight. I expect that Maryland won’t be able to replicate its success two games ago against NW where Maryland torched NW from 3.

Maryland played solid D in that game that forced NW to abandon its full court press as Maryland thrived in transition and NW forgot that Kevin Huerter can shoot over a zone with ease. They won’t forget this time and Maryland will struggle to find its offensive rhythm with a patented Turgeon 6 minute lapse of offensive output with no timeouts called.

Northwestern 62, Maryland 57.

Minnesota Golden Gophers (14-14, 3-12) at wisconsin badgers (12-16, 5-10)

8pm | FS1 | wi -7 | O/U 138

WhiteSpeedReceiver: Minnesota plays wisconsin in “basketball” tonight. We’ll probably lose because the universe is unjust, but that shit happens.

If you put everyone injured for both teams, we win by about 15, even with the 100% chance we get kohl’d (You know what I’m talking about, right Purdue fans?) but everyone that’s injured is injured and we’ll just all have to cringe and wait until next year when Minnesota has a wealth of talented players (assuming none gets hurt) and wisconsin basketball under Greg Gard will be the sports version of the documentary about a lottery winner from the trailer park that spent all their money and now has a broken ferrari in front of their old trailer.

Tuesday

Illinois Fighting Illini (13-15, 3-12) at #2 Michigan State Spartans (26-3, 14-2)

6pm | ESPN

Andrew K: Well anyway. MSU, freshly in sole possession of first place, emerges from the reality-bending Allstate Arena to finish the home slate against Illinois, which has been dreadful and is on a 2-day turnaround but also just notched probably their best win of the year by taking a shiv to Nebraska’s tourney hopes.

If the first matchup was any predictor, there will be a ton of turnovers forced by the Illini pressure but also a ton of bomb-ass dunks for MSU when it fails. After Saturday’s weirdness, I can comfortably say nothing would surprise me. MSU should roll but who knows.

Thump: One more win and Illinois will tie my predicted B1G record to match a better out of conference record than I predicted.

This Illinois team is one win away from “exceeds expectations.”

rutger Scarlet Knights (13-16, 3-12) at #16 Ohio State Buckeyes (22-7, 13-3)

6pm | BTN

There have been two OSU articles in the last 24 hours. You can figure this one out your goddamn self.

Indiana Hoosiers (16-12, 9-7) at Nebraska Cornhuskers (20-9, 11-5)

8pm | BTN

BRT: Nebraska plays Indiana at home. They could melt down after stupid Illinois ruined everything, but I don’t think this team will do that. I’m not sure they’re good enough to really make anyone feel wrath, but they are good enough to win, and I think PBA continues to be good to the Huskers.

Wednesday

#17 Michigan Wolverines (22-7, 11-5) at Penn State Nittany Lions (19-10, 9-7)

6pm | BTN

GF: According to Michigan blogs, the Wolverines are a lock to make the NCAA tourney UNLESS they drop both games to Maryland and Penn State. Soooooooooo.

Michigan has found a good offensive and defensive rotation. This is a solid, unspectacular team that understands the Beilein system quite well.

We’re going to see a lot of perimeter 1-on-1 from Penn State, which Michigan tends to do quite well against, with their versatile guards. But PSU is tough this year and playing for its tourney life. Will be an exceptional game, one of those end of year gems where so much is on the line.

[Then, this discussion ensued:]

BRT: How is PSU a potential for the tourney, and Nebraska was all but ruled out before the Illinois loss?

DJ: PSU is still on the outside looking in because of the rider loss but they have beat a top 25 team home and away so it boosts the resume. Until proven otherwise RPI rules actual brackets, and that says they’re out right now.

Nebraska has beat up on the bottom of the conference this year, so the wins don’t count as much.

BRT: They killed Michigan, who everyone keeps saying is pretty much a lock, for some reason.

DJ: Michigan should be in as long as they don’t drop something end of year, not a lock yet they could play down to the bubble

Iowa Hawkeyes (12-17, 3-13) at Minnesota

8pm | BTN

Stew: Iowa plays Minnesota. There will be a lot of points, because Iowa is horrible I defense. There will be lots of turnovers, because Iowa has, cumulatively, one ball handler. There will be horrible basketball, because both teams are, in fact, horrible.

It’s at the Barn, unless it gets burned down before Wednesday, so Minnesota should win, but they also have a two day turn around (fuck Delaney, Fuck New York, Fuck rutger), so it may be “competitive”.

Thursday

#9 Purdue Boilermakers (24-5, 13-3) at Illinois

6pm | FS1

Boilerman: Purdue plays Illinois. The giant mushroom head is on the senior’s haven’t won at list. How this is possible, I don’t know. Vince Edwards is still hurt and questionable. At this point, save him and let him heal for the BTT/NCAA. As long as Superman Carsen Edwards does what he needs to and the supporting cast does what their damn job, this should be a win.

Thump: But that ain’t happenin on Tuesday, because we are going to give up 90 points. At some point MSU is gonna get tired of dunking and try that NBA Jam thing where you go up for a dunk but just before you throw it down, you instead no-look-pass out to the three point line

Purdue could limit Illinois to only attempting shots from beyond the arc. If Trent Frazier is automatic from 30 feet like he was at Wisconsin, we have a chance. But probably not. This could be our worst performance of the year

wisconsin at Northwestern

6pm | ESPN2

MNW: dear god why

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Here’s your open thread for this week’s games. Talk about them if you so choose. Be nice to one another.

Also thoughts and prayers to Purdue for only having a 4-day turnaround before having to go all the way to Champaign but if y’all could share those naked pics of Delany that got you this schedule that’d be great thanks.

Boilerman: Blah blah blah, we also didn’t have a true bye week in conference play, so cry me a damn river.