Rutgers Football Gets With The Times, Updates Stadium Name

Since the 2012 addition of the Rutgers Scarlet Knights to the Big Ten Conference, effective 2014, ol’ Rootjars has been trying to rapidly industrialize at any cost. Disregarding all the casualties traditionally associated with red nations adopting this practice, the latest step they’ve taken towards proving that they’re right here with the rest of the conference on the cutting edge of college football was actually taken by their stadium sponsor, who announced High Point Solutions Stadium would be renamed.

No longer will we make half-baked jokes about the low number of points scored in High Points Solutions Stadium by the home team, as they will, from this day forward, play in highpoint.com Stadium.

As part of a modern brand strategy, the Ru7g3r5 Scarlet eKnights Online! did also consider other title sponsors for the stadium, but highpoint.com Stadium won over competing bids such as Pets.com Field, 3Com Park, GeoCities Offline Forum, Angelfire.com Superspeedway and Lycos Presents WebVan Field At AltaVista Stadium Powered By Netscape Navigator.

With Rutgers still not getting its full share of BTN revenue, the question of where the money came from to become so modern was raised. An anonymous booster mentioned that actually, several prominent Rutgers boosters are wealthier than ever between their portfolios with Madoff Securities LLC and their shares of Enron.

Head basketball coach Tubby Smith of High Point University issued a statement shortly after the Rutgers announcement wishing to eliminate any confusion. “The High Point Panthers are not in any way affiliated with Rutgers. Do not let the new name of their stadium confuse you; High Point University has actually made the NIT in the past decade.”