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That Moment When You Most Detested the Michigan Wolverines? Let’s Hear About It

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The Wolverines bring out strong emotions.

NCAA Football: Michigan at Michigan State Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

Simple concept: Give me the moment(s) when you hated the Wolverines the most. Give me the background, the date, the game, the article, which Harbaugh stunt...

GF3: Easy. The entire fucking ‘90s. Bo. Gary. Lloyd. John fucking Cooper’s pervasive and unfailing ineptitude.

The high point for sure was that braindead weasel Desmond Howard’s idiotic fucking heisman pose. Runner up is that fucking Charles Woodson interception.

All the fapping in 2011 when that gold plated oceangoing turd Brady Hoke had “made it a rivalry again” by beating a Luke Fickell team.

Just the thought of 1997 boils my fucking blood.

Thump: I inherited many retroactive memories upon becoming an illini fan. Therefore, my past-life memory of the 1989 Final Four has to take the cake. Illinois had blown Michigan away twice in the regular season, but then “A MICHIGAN MAN SHALL COACH A MICHIGAN TEAM” and god dammit if those Wolverines played the Flyin Illini 100 more times they’d be lucky to win twice.

Also, nobody in Michigan thinking it was creepy when Jim Harbaugh performed a ritual sacrifice on Bo Schembechler’s grave.

In fact, Harbaugh’s 2016 campaign was rather insufferable as well. I was actually glad when the hapless Illini, who were a bad team before their top 2 quarterbacks and most of their receivers went down, fought to preserve their dignity as Jimmy repeatedly handed off to Jabrill Peppers in the red zone looking to give his absurdly undeserved Heisman campaign a meaningless touchdown. Stuffing Peppers and then manufacturing an 8-point touchdown to avenge his attempted “fuck you” 2-pointer was a pretty cool moment in a lost game of a lost season. Nevertheless, with a 41-8 lead and the clock under 2 minutes, Harbaugh challenged a third-down spot, lost, picked up the first down anyway, kneeled twice to end the game, and then took to the mic to complain about what a terrible spot he got.

andrewsnuffalalupagus: #1 (tied) - every moment of every day forever and ever amen.

Aaron Yorke: Penn State, 2005, Manningham.

WSR: It’s probably just when I have to deal with Wolverines fans at a game. Yeah, yeah. You guys beat us a lot. Since administration de-emphasized football right around the time of desegregation, we’ve beat you guys 4 times. And Michigan Fans will be very happy to remind you of it. You know what, Michigan Fan? For all that effort you still only have 0.5 more National Titles than us in that time-frame. You have been among the tallest munchkins in OZ. Congratulations.

(On the football field, it was the 1998 game. We held you to -15 yards rushing and still lost 15-10. That’s just depressing.)

Zuzu: 78-0

Creighton: The year was 2010. The location was the Big House. My roommate and I were trying to enjoy ourselves as we watched our beloved Hawkeyes cruise to victory in front of the quietest 100,000 people I’ve ever seen. Iowa was beating the Wolverines 28-7 in their own home, and the dude sitting behind us was being a huge shitbird. He was an alum in his 60’s, and he had yelled at us on several occasions to sit down when we stood up to cheer. When Iowa kicker Michael Meyer kicked an extra point the guy lost it. For 15 minutes he yelled out loud to nobody in particular:

”HOW ARE WE LOSING TO IOWA? IT’S IOWA. WE HAVE 11 NATIONAL TITLES. IT’S IOWA. JEE-ZUSS CHRIST. THEY’RE JUST IOWA.........”

Keep in mind the circumstances: Iowa had beaten Michigan the previous year. Iowa was 20-6 in the previous two seasons. Michigan was 8-16 and in full RichRod mode. Iowa was the defending Orange Bowl champion. Michigan hadn’t played a bowl game in 2 years. In short, there wasn’t a single person outside of Ann Arbor that actually believed Michigan was the better football program at that moment, but this fuckweasel had to keep screaming in my ear just so I would know how he was still looking down on us. The entire Big Ten had been using the Big House as a toilet for the last few seasons, but he wanted everyone to believe that the smell of shit was coming from somewhere else.

Fuck that guy and fuck Michigan. You can’t even compete in your own division, so stop thinking you’re Alabama. You haven’t been the best program in the state for a decade. Nobody cares about you.

/Fin

Jesse: Michigan’s last national championship was a split with Nebraska, and you’d like to think that would bother me, but it doesn’t really because I realize both teams were undefeated and there isn’t a great way to compare them. What DID annoy me was listening to Bob Griese do color for son Brian’s Rose Bowl heroics and gushing all over him. Also, does anyone remember just how stupid the end of that game really was? Like, honestly, Washington State got absolutely screwed out of one more play. I promise the replay era would’ve definitely given them that extra second.