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Ohio State Potluck: Part the Third

Pat’s Here and That Trifle Says She Ain’t Come to Play School

Indiana v Ohio State Photo by Jamie Sabau/Getty Images

Author’s Note: Due to internet and life issues on the part of yours truly, this potluck was assembled and penned by our esteemed Nebraska expert, world traveler, educator, agrarian, and Queen of the Powerpoll...Ms. BigRedTwice! Many thanks for her help.

Playing for Keeps

At any potluck, there is a queen. Maybe she’s famous for her bars. Maybe it’s a particular varietal of mayo-based “salad.” She always brings this dish, believing it is her God-given duty to do so, and that people will be heartbreakingly disappointed if she doesn’t provide this manna from the heavens. But really... she’s feeding her pride more than the masses. Pat effing lives for reliving the glory of the compliments that rain upon her for those peanut butter double nut Oreo whipped cream fudge bars.

So, if OSU is this potluck’s Pat, and they are... put on your prediction hats and tell us what moment or result this season is going to keep Pat/OSU fans up at night giddy with reflected glory?

Antonov Kremlintrumpski: I mean I would say the 30th win in a row over Michigan or however long it’s been now, but if the OSU folk on here are any indication, they got more satisfaction out of squashing MSU last year than keeping Harbz on the schneid, so who can say? They are truly an inscrutable people.

BRT: I think for most of them, it’s Michigan, and always will be. I think they beat UM by enough that three separate “Fire Harbz” incidents of note occur, and this will be what brings them the most happiness.

Dead Read: ”So long as the {Buckeyes} fight [Michigan and} against [MSU], so long will they be a little people, a silly people - greedy, barbarous, and cruel....”

WSR: At some point Gertrude will get sick of the same amazing Hot German Potato Salad with the secret ingredient being a little schnapps with the vinegar (beating Michigan) and ez French Silk Pie with cocoa liquor in both the pie and the chocolate whipped cream (beating the West sacrificial lamb). But it won’t be this year, because they’ll really savor both and will probably whip up some new delicacy that’ll knock years off their life (beating Minnesota by 35)

Creighton: They’ll beat an undefeated top-10 ranked TCU team by like 30 points in primetime at Jerry World, but then they’ll go lose to Sparty and/or Purdue. TCU will finish the season 7-5, but tOSU fans will keep beating their chests about how badly they pounded the Horned Frogs and how that should count more for their resume than the automatic bid the committee gives to Alabama

GF3: When Michigan’s latest Rent-a-QB takes another L for Jimmy Ballgame, the quarterback whisperer. By the by, it’s totally not a big deal at all that the vaunted developer of QBs has yet to recruit or develop a franchise QB in the same timespan that Urbz has recruited about a baker’s dozen.


Which team gives Buckeye fans that warm, fuzzy, "skull-dragged those clowns" feeling?

This poll is closed

  • 14%
    Mike D’antoni’s boys from Cell Blocks M, S, and U
    (14 votes)
  • 42%
    Lil’ Jimmy’s Mississippi Sleepover Show
    (42 votes)
  • 29%
    Coach (clap) James (clap) Frank (clap) Lion’s (clap) Middle (clap) School (clap) Marauders (clap) now with 100% less generational talent (clap clap clap)
    (29 votes)
  • 15%
    Rutgers...the ultimate punchline
    (15 votes)
100 votes total Vote Now