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Maryland Football - Wishing 2018 was as Good as 2017

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Maryland Football Should Win One Game in 2018

NCAA Football: Maryland at Rutgers Gregory Fisher-USA TODAY Sports

I’m making a bold prediction here...Maryland football should win one game this year.

It’s a bold statement considering this team won’t be as good as last year.

I began my research into Maryland’s football program by searching for the results of their 2017 season. The search results were all basketball.

That’s pretty much how the world feels about Maryland football. Not even google gives a shit.

But for humor’s sake, let’s dig into this steaming pile anyway.

When you talk to Maryland fans about last year, the conversation starts with the win at Texas. First game of the season. High hopes.

In their favor, it was the first win over a ranked opponent in seven years. Texas was #23 in the country going into the game. The Horns were almost three touchdown favorites.

It was a big upset at the time.

Testudo Times crowed: This is a different team than we saw last year.

What a cluster.

The turtles went on to beat a middle-school quality Towson team. Then they got blown out by #6 UCF, before opening their B1G season at Minnesota.

The turps came into this game as double-digit underdogs to the darling boat rowers of the west. They were on to their third quarterback, after losing the first two to ACL tears.

The ESPN Ocho announcer summarizing this game called it a meeting between two of the brightest young minds in college football…with a straight face.

These two bright bulbs hit us with cutting post-game commentary. Maryland “responded to adversity”. They “didn’t flinch”. They “made the plays”. Minnesota “didn’t deserve to win”.

Again, there was much rejoicing in murrland.

Testudo Times crowed about the road upset and the 416 total yards. Good points…but they lacked context. Like Texas, Minnesota turned out to be a mediocre football team.

Stay with me now. After that game, the overdressed team from the east was 3-1 and riding high. Then came three ranked teams – OSU (5), Northwestern (17), and Wisconsin (7).

The terrupuns failed to get their second win against a ranked opponent in seven years.

Two stats sum up those three games…

Maryland managed 672 yards and 48 points. Their opponents ran up 1,555 yards and 137 points.

It was a horrible stretch. But then came Indiana, that glorious marshmallow. Both teams came in with 3-4 records. DJ Moore carried the team on his shoulders. But Indy kept it close. Maryland won to go to 4-4.

This game had Maryland in their ugliest uni’s of the year.


NCAA Football: Indiana at Maryland Mitch Stringer-USA TODAY Sports

As if the flag uni wasn’t awful, we went with canary and black throwbacks.

Shoot me.

Next came a virtual gimme. A lead-pipe lock conference win against 2-6 rutger. Total chip shot. Slam dunk. Easy peasy.

Except the terps lost.

To rutger.

In ugly fashion.

Because refs.

I could end this here, because losing to rutegars is grounds for termination. And yet, the terps had more football to play…

They ended the season with Michigan, Michigan State (15), and Penn State (8). Again, two stats sum up those games:

Maryland managed 847 total yards and 20 points. Its opponents 1,130 total yards and 118 points. Maryland was outscored nearly 6 to 1 in those games.


The funniest thing about this three-game slate is that Maryland actually outgained Michigan in the loss. The final score, 35 to 10, wasn’t indicative of how bad Maryland looked in that game. They were a hot mess.

It turns out, regardless of the reason, 2017 was the same team we saw in 2016…and 2015…and 2014. This is a team that regularly wins between 1 and 4 conference games. The muster a sad 3 to 5-win seasons. On a good year, they back into a lower tier bowl to get annihilated by an angry Marshall team.

It’s just who Maryland is right now. They haven’t had more than 7 wins in the current decade. Every season they turn in a sad hand-job-like performance against a Rutgers level team.

I hate to say it, but 2018 ain’t going to be a big improvement.

I feel bad saying this, because DJ Durkin seems like a nice guy. But, if I were a Maryland fan, I wouldn’t get too attached.

The big problem is the loss of a major talent. We’ve seen this before, when great receivers or running backs (ahem) leave for NFL glory. Teams get worse. That’s 2018 for Maryland.

D.J. Moore accounted for 28% of their total offense in 2017. First string quarterback or fourth string quarterback…he caught the ball.

He’s now playing in the NFL.

There isn’t anyone on the team at his level. And that’s assuming UMD can find someone healthy enough to chuck the ball. My advice is to have all the quarterbacks watch this video on the perfect worked for Hack, it’ll work for you too:

In fairness, the 2018 schedule is kind. They play Texas again. And the B1G slate is exceptionally kind, with Minnesota, rutger, Illinois, and Indiana. The first three of those games are at home.

That’s a win. At least one, anyway. I expect you to beat Illinois.

DJ Durkin seems like a nice enough guy. But he’s in a tough division in a strong conference. Everyone is in a win or die situation. Nobody is going to cut him a break.

It’s going to be a long season, Maryland fans.

Your Friend,



Finish this sentence: Maryland will beat ______ in 2018.

This poll is closed

  • 1%
    (4 votes)
  • 17%
    Rutgers and Illinois
    (52 votes)
  • 58%
    Minnesota, Rutgers, and Illinois
    (174 votes)
  • 2%
    No B1G foes
    (7 votes)
  • 14%
    Only Illinois
    (44 votes)
  • 6%
    No one
    (19 votes)
300 votes total Vote Now