The United States didn’t qualify for the World Cup, but we somehow still made it to July 4.
July 4 means something different to everyone. Some of you day drink with your face painted like the flag, some of you enjoy your day off by spending time with your family, and some of you see it as a day for reflection and relaxation.
Like a teenager who just discovered The Smiths after a breakup or a middle-aged man with a pony tail, our country is going through some shit right now. Let today be the one day where we can all just be cool to each other and have fun. Grill some hamburgers by the pool or take your kids to a parade. Have a cigar while playing bags in American flag swim trunks. Get drunk and watch the movie Independence Day. I don’t know, just have a good time. Whether you’re in America by birth or by choice, today is a day to be happy and just have a great day.
Today I’m going to throw some ribs on the grill and drink some of Narraganset lagers and Dale’s Pale Ale while watching the women’s ice hockey gold medal game from the PyeongChang Olympics. There are no World Cup matches on today, but that’s probably for the best because I don’t need to be reminded of our failure on today of all days. What about you guys? Are you going to an outdoor concert? Are you still going in to work, but with a red white and blue clown wig on? Are you crashing DJ’s party and eating all of his brisket? Let us know in the comments!!!