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THE AP POLL DISRESPECTED YOU; IT’S TIME TO GET REALLY MAD

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SOMEONE OUT THERE THINKS WISCONSIN IS THE BEST TEAM IN THE COUNTRY AND LET’S YELL FOR A WHILE

Michigan v Wisconsin Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images

Preseason polls are dumb.

That said:

The Top 25

  1. Alabama Crimson Tide (42)
  2. Clemson Tigers (18)
  3. Georgia Bulldogs
  4. Wisconsin Badgers (1)
  5. Ohio State Buckeyes
  6. Washington Huskies
  7. Oklahoma Sooners
  8. Miami-Florida Hurricanes
  9. Auburn Tigers
  10. Penn State Nittany Lions
  11. Michigan State Spartans
  12. Notre Dame Fighting Irish
  13. Stanford Cardinal
  14. Michigan Wolverines, who went 8-5 and embarrassingly lost their bowl game
  15. USC Trojans
  16. TCU Horned Frogs
  17. West Virginia Mountaineers
  18. Mississippi St. Bulldogs
  19. Florida State Seminoles
  20. Virginia Tech Hokies
  21. UCF Knights
  22. Boise State Broncos
  23. Texas Longhorns, who are definitely back this time
  24. Oregon Ducks
  25. LSU Tigers

Also Receiving Votes

South Carolina Gamecocks (96), Florida Gators who just fired Jim McElwain (68), Utah Utes (60), Oklahoma State Cowboys (51), Florida Atlantic Owls (38), Arizona Wildcats (28), N.C. State Wolfpack (22), Texas A&M Aggies (21), Boston College Eagles (18), Northwestern Wildcats (13), Kansas State Wildcats (10), Iowa St. Cyclones (8), Houston Cougars (6), Memphis Tigers (3), Troy Trojans (2), Iowa Hawkeyes (2), Kentucky Wildcats (1), Arkansas State Red Wolves (1), Fresno State Bulldogs (1).

Things I Am Extremely Here For:

  1. Iowa receiving as many votes as Troy.
  2. Your Team not receiving* as many votes as My Team
    *does not apply to fans of wisconsin, Ohio State, Penn State, Michigan State, Michigan

3. FAU getting some love because dammit, I want the Lane Train to keep rolling

Things I Am Extremely Not Here For:

  1. Boston College somehow getting more votes than Northwestern in a poll that does not, to my knowledge, factor Extreme Dude-ness into rankings
  2. North fucking Carolina State? Are you kidding me? I’M SO NOT MAD ABOUT THIS, INTERNET
  3. wisconsin getting a first-place vote. Stop encouraging them, voter.
  4. South Carolina, Florida, Mississippi State, because...SEC?
  5. Texas. Jesus. Stop trying to make fetch happen.
  6. Top 15 Michigan, for which I will now list all the reasons Michigan should be in the Top 15