clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Sunday Morning Coming Down

New, 836 comments

That Old Kinnick Magic

Wisconsin v Iowa Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images

Ten B1G Things

  1. Orange is nobody’s color. More orange is not better.
  2. Penn State Soft now includes Friday Night Lights
  3. There is no smooth way to say “Zack Annexstad” if you’re a broadcaster. Fortunately they don’t have to talk about him much.
  4. Scott Frost is a statistician’s dream, providing ample opportunity to talk about records dating back to the 1940s and 1950s.
  5. I guess that makes him a Michigan fan’s dream, too.
  6. Purdue Harbor: Now available in a new ACC-compatible model!
  7. Rondale Moore is proof that there’s value in being a big fish in a small pond. At OSU he’d be a backup instead of having his own ESPN clips.
  8. If you’re ever mad about having a game on BTN at a shit time, or having to endure the shouting of Beth Mowins, just remember that Army took the Sooners to overtime in Norman and the game was only on Pay-Per-View outside the state of Oklahoma.
  9. Ohio State’s first team OL is decent. Ohio State’s second team OL looks like five movie extras making $5 a day.
  10. Dwayne Haskins threw five touchdowns and Dobbins ran for only 55 yards on 11 carries to solidify OSU as the inaugural pass-first team in Urban’s tenure.
  11. Dantonio used his one trick play for season, so it’s back to Sparty fans screaming about the offensive scheme again.
  12. Listen to the rhythm/ Of the tiny tiny feet/ It’s Hawkeye fans /in a full retreat
  13. When Hornibrook makes the right throw, he’s as good as anyone. It’s just that he so often doesn’t.
  14. So who wants to get blasted by Alabama this year?


The Rundown

Penn State at Illinois | PSU covers late 63-24

If you only tuned in for the box score, this game looked like a typical beatdown snoozer that you’d expect of a Penn State Soft™ early season schedule. Inexplicably, though, PSU was actually trailing in the 3rd quarter. Well, perhaps not inexplicably. Illinois took advantage of PSU’s linebackers, who consistently got out of position to the effect of creating massive running lanes. Illinois just plain ran out of gas in the second half, letting Miles Sanders and Trace McSorley rack up career running days. It was fun while it lasted, but the best outcome of this game goes to anyone who took PSU and the points.

Thump: I don’t even want to watch football today or do the podcast or any of this shit. This is all pointless. Can’t even entertain the thought of winning a game against the league of which we’re a member. 13 conference losses in a row. Once again we bring in a coach and the thing he’s known for is what we’re worst at. This defense is fucking brutal. The starting linebackers are actually okay, except they’re awful in coverage, but the defensive line got pushed around so badly they might as well have lined up in the secondary every play. Speaking of the secondary, why the fuck is Marchese still starting? That dude wouldn’t crack the DB depth chart at Savannah State and probably wouldn’t start at linebacker where he belongs.

Don’t let the way their points were distributed fool you; at no point was this a contest. We give up over six yards per play, and that’s not skewed by USF and Penn State that much (Kent State and WIU carved us up).

Complete waste of my time just like every Illini game. Bring on Rutgers; let’s get this over with.

87townie: I didn’t actually see the game, because I’m a good “writer”. I’m working this whole weekend. However, anytime I see Illinois with a lead after the half...and it isn’t basketball...I get nauseous. PSU is young. It’s defense is still unsettled. I’m “concerned” going into the OSU game.


Minnesota at Maryland | Gopher Boat sunk off Fort McHenry, 42-13

The undefeated Minnesota thing was nice while it lasted, but like an Indian summer we knew it was just a September tease. PJ Fleck’s schtick has reached a crescendo, with a bunch of kids from urban high schools now running around with canoe paddles on their helmets. Speaking of inefficient motive forces, Zack Annexstad went 14/32 with 2 INTs to his lone TD. Kassim Hill wasn’t great, but with his team rushing for 315 yards to Minnesota’s 94, he didn’t really have to be. Maryland continues to be an enigma—but here’s hoping they're an enigma that hires Matt Canada for good.

WhiteSpeedReceiver: Well then. The young wide receivers did a great job moving the ball down the field at times, but the inconsistencies of a young team really showed today. We had a number of opportunities to get back into the game, make it a game, or who knows what else, but it just never happened. And the defense...well, the less said about that the better. When Antoine Winfield Jr. left the game for the second season in a row against Maryland, I muttered some profanity and started thinking about the Iowa game. The gap between Winfield and Jordan Howden is a rather noticeable one, and pretty much every long Maryland run (and they were plentiful) were aided by a miscue from the Freshman. Hopefully Winfield can come back soon, because if not it could once again be a very long season no matter how much the offense can improve to finish drives. But for now, all I can really say is “Good job Maryland.”


Nebraska at Michigan | Scott Frost wishes he was still Florida Man, 56-10

Leaving the weather of South Florida for Nebraska isn’t brilliant to begin with, but at least he got to enjoy some hype and fanfare. Now that his home’s been burglarized and his team’s been assault and battered, Frost is probably remembering why so many Nebraskans end up in Florida to begin with. Michigan supposedly held a grudge from Frost’s comments two years ago, when he claimed UCF “outhit” Michigan in a 51-14 Wolverine victory—which is petty enough to be just about the most Michigan bullshit ever. This year, Michigan made sure to shove around Frost’s Nebraska team by using the fullback to the fullest extent possible...because this entire game was plucked straight out of 1975. Shea Patterson threw one TD pass and then sat the entire second half, because why not quit while you’re ahead?

Dead_Read: Hot garbage. Negativity can really snowball on inexperienced teams, and that is what is happening to Nebraska now. This is not the rosy scenario that many fans conjured for themselves in the off-season. Hopefully things do not get much worse before they start getting better. Nebby needs to show signs of life at home against the Boilers next week. That is all.

BigRedTwice: I didn’t watch a single minute of this game, which turned out to be a very fantastic idea. I did catch part of it on the radio, which was unfortunate. An Iowa fan in the gamethreads asked if Husker fans had any idea that this year would be this bad. I quite honestly said no, I did not--this is going much more roughly than anticipated (he did not like this answer for reasons which remain inscrutable, but I stand by it!) Although I had fairly tame expectations of 5-6 wins... we have to face the possibility that there is a non-zero chance that Nebraska wins NO games this season. I certainly hope I’m wrong about that, but the possibility exists. In any event, it’s super uncool to be wrestling with Rutgers for the #14 spot in our esteemed Power Poll. Even so, I’m not at all on #teamburnitalldown--but it is going to be a tough season to be a fan. Next week with Purdue will be interesting--I’ll keep my hopes modest and hope that for the first time this season, the Huskers might manage to start a game without spotting the opponent 14 points that are largely turnover-aided.

Anyway, Michigan. Going to just forget this one ever happened. Hopefully the team can too!


Boston College at Purdue | Choo Choo, Vatican fans. Pain train wins 30-13

Purdue was never a bad team, having lost three games by something like eight points total. BC discovered that fact in harsh fashion. The Boilermakers intercepted four (4!) BC passes enroute to a three-score drubbing of the undefeated Eagles. Rondale Moore snagged two TD catches from David Blough’s 300-yard day. This isn’t the end of the Harboring my friends. ‘Tis only the beginning.

Boilerman31: Ahh, sweet victory. Finally, Purdue put it all together and got the W over a ranked opponent. People had been giving Purdue the ‘Best 0-3 Team in the Country’ treatment, which is bittersweet at best. Purdue was more than happy to sell out on stopping AJ Dillon and it worked as BC couldn’t get any consistency through the air, throwing 4 INTs. On the offensive side, David Blough continued to show why he should continue to get all the snaps, going 21/28 for 296 and 3 TDs. Oh, and that Rondale Moore guy continues to be pretty damn good. There’s still plenty to work on. Special teams coverage was bad on kickoffs and another missed PAT were the main issues this week.

Purdue gets away from Boner status. For now.


Buffalo at Rugters | Rutgers loses bajillion-to-three or something

Rugters has been de-listed until further notice. Please see www.onthebanks.com for Rugters coverage.

However, this is as good a place as any to point out that Army took #5 Oklahoma to overtime in Norman, after battling back three times to tie the game. Unfortunately, the Black Knights couldn’t get it done in extra innings.


Tulane at Ohio State | OSU wins unimpressively 49-6

It’s hard to play Tulane, win big, and look sorta shitty doing it, but that’s what second stringers are for. OSU scored thrice in each of the first two quarters and then started giving reps to the second team. The result was a nearly scoreless second half for the Buckeyes, which made a boring game somehow even worse.

Oh, and Urban Meyer is back. If you hadn’t heard.

James Snyder: When a coworker found out the game was on BTN, and that is literally the only sports channel we don’t get, he spent 30 minutes figuring it out. We went live right at kick off. I think I watched about 20 plays, he watched even less. Maybe I will assuage my disgust at not getting a competitive game by putting out a “Dwayne Haskins MUST Win the Heisman” post a third of the way into the season.


Michigan State at Indiana | MSU avoids the road to 3-9 with a 35-21 victory

When MSU loses its B1G opener, they also tend to have a 6-loss season (or worse). Tom Allen and Indiana did their best to send Dantonio’s gang down the path to “MAKE PLAYS!”, but to no avail. Brian Lewerke and Peyton Ramsey both had banner nights throwing, with Ramsey winning the yardage battle while Lewerke claimed most of the cool points. The latter turned a fake FG into an option, pitching to the kicker for a short TD. Indiana clawed their way back to make it 28-21 late, but couldn’t hold the line against Sparty.

Candystripes: Oh hey look, it’s the inevitable and utterly predictable “Oh you thought Indiana might be good this year? FUCK YOU!” game that the Hoosiers pull at least once a season. Yet again, IU was good enough to hang with a top 4 Big Ten East team, and yet a-fucking-gain, they came up short in the end. Seriously, why the hell do I get excited for this shit every goddamn year? IT’S NEVER GOING TO FUCKING CHANGE.

AK: MSU was good enough to win a road game and hang on to Ol’ Brassy despite a number of serious miscues, particularly from Brian Lewerke. There are also philosophical decisions that continue to baffle. In their only offensive drive where they showed any aggression at all, MSU swept down the field for a touchdown in the 2-minute drill before halftime - and then promptly returned to the grinding, ineffective run game that hasn’t worked since 2014, if then. MSU’s defense harassed Ramsey all night - until they were trying to put the game away, when the pressure lessened and inevitably a linebacker was left over a slot receiver and it went how you’d expect. Given the warts a lot of other conference teams have shown, this team as is will probably be good enough to win plenty of games this season, but MSU won’t beat Penn State, Michigan, or even be close to OSU playing like that.


Wisconsin at Iowa | Badgers grind it out 28-17

This game had all the excitement one could possibly squeeze out of two plodding B1G West teams. An early slugfest turned into a comedy of errors for Iowa, with a blocker’s errant foot turning an almost-dead punt into a live ball that Wisconsin pounced on. The Badgers capitalized on the opportunity. Noah Fant, who was quiet early on, snagged two TDs including the go-ahead score for Hawkeyes late in the 3rd. Iowa held the lead for the next 16 minutes of gameplay until Hornibrook hit AJ Taylor on a crossing route to go ahead 21-17. On the ensuing Iowa possession, Stanley’s pass was tipped and intercepted. That setup a backbreaking misdirection TD run in the waning seconds to put Iowa to bed.

stewmonkey13: Iowa had 3 turnovers, wisconsin had 0. That’s the game. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Goddammit

Creighton_M: Nothing like handing wisconsin the ball back on two different punt returns after making big stops to give a team led by Alex fucking Hornibrook a W. Enjoy your stupid false idol trophy, Badgers.

beezer07: Well that was lucky. But Wisconsin won! Yay! And Hornibrook actually didn’t turn it over in a big game. And Taylor didn’t fumble. And the defensive secondary didn’t force any incompletions! Wait that was bad. Wisconsin’s pass defense is baaaaad. Maybe it’s that there’s not a great rush. Probably also that the cornerbacks are not great.

Hornibrook played really well and owes a lot of that to Jake Ferguson who, despite having an absolutely crushing drop, really kept the offense moving down the field on its many limited drives.

It’s a win so I’ll take it. I’ll also take the fuck you touchdown on a fullback end around, easily the most creative Wisconsin play all of the game. Up next? I think maybe a bye? My heart needs the rest.

MC ClapYoHandz: I will preface this with I’ve alcohol’d and therefore missed a ton of the game. Wisconsin definitively was not worthy of their old #4 ranking, but winning a rivalry night game at Iowa is no joke. Wisconsin maintains its role in the division race driver seat despite a daunting road schedule, and Brandon Scherff stole a cow.


Coming Attractions