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Fans Watch In Horror As James Franklin Literally Throws Players Under The Bus [mandatory satire disclaimer]

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The enraged coach explains to reporters how his team let him down while he shoves them under a motor vehicle

Ohio v Penn State Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images

After the Nittany Lions were defeated by Ohio State last night, coach James Franklin refused to attend the customary post-game press conference and instead lined his players up at the team bus as he threw them under it one by one.

“My play calling is not, as you put it, ‘problematic down the stretch’ Josh”, Franklin told Centre Daily Times writer Josh Moyer as he was shoving running back Miles Sanders under the front of the bus.

It was a tough night for Penn State fans, as they watched their team squander a two score lead in the fourth quarter before Franklin called a timeout to come up with a bizarre RB draw play on 4th and 5 to effectively hand Ohio State the win.

Juwan Johnson tried crawling out near one of the wheels, but Franklin, who kicked a P.A.T. instead of going for two while up by 5 points in the 4th quarter, quickly ran over and kicked him back under the 20 ton vehicle. “We really need to teach the players to be focused enough to close games out. Maybe my offensive line should be studying blocking assignments instead of playing Fortnite.”

Franklin, who twice punted inside the Ohio State 40, grabbed Shareef Miller by the shoulder pads and hurled him under the rear end of the motorcoach, then turned back to reporters and said “Listen, all I can do is call the plays and make adjustments. It’s up to those guys out there if they want to be elite or not. Today they didn’t.”

Officials from Penn State were able to confirm that a crane was on the way to lift the bus and free the players.