We did it, y’all! A few close calls against heavy underdogs, a few games that were never in doubt, a thunderstorm, and weirdly an opening-week conference game. Oh and for the second consecutive iteration, every B1G team who played a game won that game, except Michigan. (There were no losers in the Northwestern-Purdue game. Except Purdue, but we’re not counting that because it’s funnier if Michigan is the only B1G loss again.)
As with previous years, Off Tackle Empire carries on making a lot of people mad by posting congratulatory content that disrespects by omission. If your team’s favorite player isn’t chosen as a Player of the Week, one of three things happened: (1) It involved a player not involved in Wisconsin’s most recent game; (2) your favorite team’s writer didn’t submit the player for POTW honors; or (3) you favorite team’s player really wasn’t as awesome as you thought.
Sometimes a player will get picked because of the awesome raw stats; sometimes he’ll get picked because of good stats plus situational significance; sometimes he’ll get picked because he did pretty well and plays for Wisconsin; and most of the time he just won’t get picked. Leave your complaints in the comments.
Defensive Player of the Week
Jake Hansen - LB - Illinois - Co-B1G Defensive POTW (As chosen by whoever chooses these things)
15 tackles (10 solo), 6 tackles for loss; Set the Illinois record for TFLs in a game
In a game that seemed a giant disaster in the making, Hansen balled out against Kent State, keeping the game close enough at halftime that the Illini could mount a second-half comeback. With six TFLs in this game, Hansen has already exceed the total TFLs by any individual Illini (not sure if a single Illinois-er is still an Illini) for the entirety of the 2017 season. Per the most emotionally defeated of all of OTE’s writers, without Hansen, Illinois would have been so far in the hole at halftime that Illinois would have a 0-1 record going into Week 2. His performance this week also tripled-ish his total career tackles at Illinois (8 before, 23 now).
Other Guys You Should Know
Joe Bachie - LB - Michigan State - 11 tackles, 1.5 TFL, 1 pathetic-win-sealing INT
Nick Bosa - DE - Ohio State - 2 sacks, fumble recovery TD, only gave up 30 points to Oregon State
Lightning - Weather - The Sky - Pitched a shutout against Akron
Special Teams Player of the Week
Colten Rastetter - Punter - Iowa - 53 ypp average, 69-yard long
Rastetter had a great day at the most important position for teams that struggle to score. Rastetter averaged over fifty yards per punt (which, given Kirk’s preferences, likely means he kicked several punts twenty plus yards out the back of the endzone), and rolled a sixty-nine-yard punt to within three feet of Northern Illinois’ endzone, leading to a safety by the Iowa defense. In the B1G, punting is winning if you’re a mediocre team, and Rastetter won the HELL out of the game for Iowa.
Other Guys You Should Know
Blake Hayes - Punter - Illinois - 5 punts for 53.4 ypp average
Rafael Gaglianone - 2/2 FGs (28 of his last 31; 9/9 on FGs over 40 yards the past two seasons), 4/4 XPs
Offensive Player of the Week
Dwayne Haskins - QB - Ohio State - B1G Offensive Player of the Week as selected by someone
22/30 for 313 yards passing, 5 TDs, didn’t get hurt, has a good arm
So it turns out Haskins miiiiiiight be okay and OSU may not miss JT Barrett really at all. Haskins became the first Buckeye to throw for over 300 yards in his starting debut and he led his team to the highest point total they’re likely to see outside of games against two or three B1G teams. The only ding against him is he can’t play linebacker and he let his team give up a bunch of points to a pretty pathetic Oregon State team. Nonetheless, congrats to Penn State for finishing second in the East this year and to Wisconsin for only losing the 2018 Conference Championship game by ten.
Other Guys You Should Know
Tyler Johnson - WR - Minnesota - 5 catches for 100 yards, 2 TDs
Jeshaun Jones - Uhhhh - Maryland - 1/1 for 20 yards and 1 TD passing, 1 rush for 28 yards and 1 TD, 73 yards receiving and 1 TD (see below for more!)
Jonathan Taylor - 18 carries, 145 yards, 8.1 ypc, 2 TDs
Trace McSorely - 3 total TDs, no turnovers, saved Penn State’s keister (keester?) all game
Freshman Player of the Week
Jeshaun Jones - WR (technically) - Maryland
You can see Jones’ (Beez note: I personally prefer Jones’s so you don’t miss the apostrophe, but losing the extra “s” saves our rapidly-dwindling supply of online characters) stats above. The best part of his day is his three touchdowns came on his first three touches of the game, which were also his first three touches during a collegiate game. After accounting for three scores in his first three touches, his touchdown-per-touch ratio fell all the way to 75% by game’s end. There’s not telling whether Jones will excel for Maryland the rest of this season or during his career, but it’s essentially impossible to start your college career better than he did.
This Guy’s Stats Were So Good I’m Naming Him “Also Freshman of the Week”
Rondale Moore - WR - Purdue - 2 rushes for 79 yards and 1 TD, 11 rec for 109 yards and 1 TD, 5 kick returns for 125 yards
Moore really had an amazing debut. From the moment he dropped his first wide-open pass, you could tell he was good. He looked twice as fast and twice as quick as anybody else on the field, scored twice, embarrassed a couple defenders, and BY THE WAY DID YOU KNOW HE CAN SQUAT LIKE 600 POUNDS I’M NOT SURE IF YOU HEARD THAT 10-12 TIMES ON THE BROADCAST.
Oh, he also set the all-time Purdue record for all-purpose yards in a game. Not the record for freshman or first-time starters, but for ALL Purdue players ever. I didn’t watch much B1G football other than Wisconsin, Purdue/NW, and whoever it was App State should have beaten, but Moore looked like the most talented player on any of those teams.
Boner of the Week
Was there really any question?
Here Are Some Other Pretty Dumb Things
Illinois fielded a kickoff at the 13 and then immediately stepped out of bounds. Not to be outdone, this is a kickoff return from later in the game
I can’t find a jif or clip of it (commentors, help me out!), but during the Wisconsin game, Hornibrook rolled out, pointed/motioned for Taylor to run deep (you know, like we all did in elementary school touch games), and then threw a beautiful, arcing pass toward a triple-covered Taylor who managed to knock it down. WTF Horni.
Actual Good Play of the Week
RIP, guy on NW who tried to tackle him in open field
Did I nail the picks for this week?
This poll is closed
Yup, without a doubt.
Nope, and the people you missed are in my comment
Nope, but I’m not going to list the ones you missed because I’m lazy
Who cares? Just inject some Rondale Moore jukes right into my veins