Big Ten Football Week 7 Picks

Maryland Terrapins at Purdue Boilermakers

11am | BTN | MD -4.5 | O/U: 55.5

Straight-Up: Maryland, 13-6

pkloa: Common opponent results from Penn State suggest Purdue will win this, but I think they are just too beat up to overcome. Give me the Terps.

BrianB2: Maryland is losing this game, and the six remaining ones after it. (Hey my pessimistic magic worked against Rutgers, so it can work against anyone! Right?) Using pkloa’s never flawed, never failed ‘transitive property’ logic, I do look forward to Penn State beating Rutgers by the score of 107-7 later this year.

Townie: I think Maryland rides that wave from Rutgers and wins this one. Not taking anything away from Plummer, Bell, and Karlaftis...I just think Maryland is less beaten up than Purdue at this point.

Boilerman: Complete Homer pick because this team deserves better than this. Boilers 31-27.

MC: Oh hey guys! I’m pretending I follow sports too. No Sindelar, probably no Rondale? Yeah I’ll take Maryland to cover here. Purdue has been reeling.

Stew: Maryland breaks off enough big plays against this depleted Purdue team to cover.

Dead Read: In the “this isn’t real money” category, I will take Purdue with the upset. Purdue has been playing hurt all year, now Maryland gets to play without the starting quarterback on the road..

BRT: This is the toughest pick of the week, right? Purdue is decimated, and Maryland has beaten some seemingly decent teams, but also got pulverized by PSU, so… yeah. I don’t know. I’ll pick Purdue because I feel bad for them and want them to win.

MNW: The wild card is obviously Tyrrell Pigrome replacing Josh Jackson at QB for Maryland. He didn’t need to be that efficient or dynamic against Rutgers, but if Piggy’s inability to throw downfield comes back to haunt Maryland...man. Otherwise I think Javon Leake and Anthony McFarland can find room to run. Terps, 35-28.

Rutgers Scarlet Knights at Indiana Hoosiers

11am | BTN | IU -27 | O/U 49.5

Straight-Up: Indiana, 18-1
Against the Spread: Indiana, 12-7

BrianB2: I don’t know why I am picking Rutgers to cover. They have to be pissed off enough at this point to play like, one half of football, right? Or has the entire starting defense decided to redshirt? Indiana struggled mildly against the Scarlet Knights last year, so that naturally means they will do so again. That’s my logic and I am sticking to it.

Townie: Indiana gets a huge tailwind from playing a beaten down Rutgers team. The knights are making everyone look good this season. Indy wins and covers.

Boilerman: If a guy nicknamed Duffel Bag Boy in Vegas puts $330K on Indiana, who am I to second guess? Hoosiers win big. Indiana 52, rutgres 3

MC: This is where I get nervous about respecting Indiana’s superpowers against MSU and thinking that they will apply everywhere. But they have a terrible opponent whose best players are sitting out. In Rutgers terms that math may work out to improving somehow, but I’ll take Indiana to cover.

Stew: Indiana has now shown a couple times this season that they can cover large spreads against awful teams.

Dead Read: As Stew said, the Hoosiers have already shown that they know how to handle a cupcake. I hope they have been able to put the Michigan State loss behind them. Rutgers is the cure for fading confidence, in any event.

BRT: Rutgers is so, so, so bad. It’s not really fun to make fun of them at this point, because I feel for those guys still on the team and still trotting out there every week. They’re in an awful, impossible, no-fun situation.

MNW: Senator Rutgers, you’re no Jack Kennedy UConn Huskies. Indiana, 47-10.

Michigan Wolverines at Illinois Fighting Illini

11am | ABC | UM -22 | O/U 49

Straight-Up: duh
Against the Spread: Michigan, 13-6.

BrianB2: It was hard to pick Michigan to cover, due to their unwillingness to navigate themselves to the endzone against all teams not named Rutgers (and maybe Middle Tennessee). But Illinois is just, really, not good. Everyone needs to circle their calendars for November 2nd, when perhaps the real “Who is the Worst Team in the Big Ten (and maybe all of the P5)” occurs when Illinois hosts Rutgers.

Townie: We know Michigan’s defense will get after the Illini QB. And we know even Michigan’s offense should put up a lot of points on them. The question is...can Michigan’s D keep the Illini out of the endzone. The answer is decidedly yes. Urine and Aqua wins and covers.

Boilerman: I’m going to middle this one. I can’t trust Michigan’s offense to score enough points to cover. On top of that, it’s expected to be quite windy, that doesn’t bode well for scoring. Michigan 28, Illinois 10.

MC: If East Dakota can blow this team out, Michigan can too. Illinois went into a do-or-die game of sorts last week and totally blew it. Michigan covers; they can only beat themselves here...wait, can I chang-

Stew: This Michigan offense is still awful. This is just too many points to swallow.

Dead Read: If Lovie still has the confidence of his team (IF!), the Illini are in a position to really harry the Wolverines. Smith made his bones as a defensive guru, and it does not take a guru to slow down this Michigan offense. This could be interesting. More likely, this could be the most tedious watch of the day...which is saying something.

BRT: Part of me truly believes that Michigan can put together another “vs. Rutgers”-type performance, but they’ve also looked just absolutely execrable on offense several times this year. Maybe Harbaugh is right that they’re “really hitting their stride offensively” and we’ll all look silly, but I just have a hard time believing that until I see it, in spite of the opponent.

MNW: I just feel so bad about this all. But this is where Don Brown makes his money. Michigan, 45-0.

Michigan State Spartans at wisconsin badgers

2:30pm | BTN | badgers -10 | O/U 40

Straight-Up: wisconsin, 16-3
Against the Spread: Michigan State, 10-9

BrianB2: Nothing suggests to me that this game will be all that close, but MSU is no stranger to winning unexpected games out of nowhere. I’d prefer they save their upset magic for Penn State a third consecutive year though. C’mon Spartans, do it for me.

pkloa: Dantonio is always glad to turn a game into a stupid sluggish cockfight, and he has a few more weapons than Fitzgerald had. Sparty covers.

Townie: The problem with playing cupcakes is that you forget who you are.. Coan looked great last week. All world running back Taylor looked unstoppable...against a cupcake.

But remember that Northwestern game? Dantonio does. This is my upset pick of the season. Coming off that loss to OSU, Sparty gets one back vs Wisconsin. Gimme Sparty!

Boilerman: This will be an ugly game for ugly people with ugly names. Badgers win but unlike Michigan, who can’t stop the run, Sparty can. Sparty’s defense makes it interesting. Badgers 17, Sparty 13

MC: I think MSU has an awesome DL, Jonathan Taylor is incredible, something’s gotta give. This is the kind of game that potentially ends 7-5. I’ll take Wisconsin, with MSU beating the spread. Bring your best rocks.

Stew: Like all reasonable people, I hate wisconsin. But they appear to not be as terrible at football as they deserve to be. I can talk myself into MSU covering, but not quite into wisconsin losing.

Dead Read: MSU has a great defense. Wisconsin has a very, very good defense and an actual running game. Sconnies, 24-10.

BRT: I think MSU could keep this close, but the JTT weaponry is pretty incredible, and I think that’s going to be enough of a difference to keep MSU a bit beyond arm’s reach.

MNW: Bet the under, watch Michigan State crash Joe Bachie and see how much trouble Raequan Williams can cause. I can’t wait to pretend this game isn’t happening. wisconsin, 16-14.

Penn State Nittany Lions at Iowa Hawkeyes

6:30pm | ABC | PSU -4.5 | O/U 42

Straight-Up: Penn State, 16-3
Against the Spread: Penn State, 11-8

pkloa: Time for Penn State to show their discipline. The team that played the middle portion against Purdue will lose against Iowa. I believe in you, good Nittany Lions.

BrianB2: This is the first, what the experts might call, “real football team”, that Penn State is playing this year, so who knows. Penn State wins by 40, because that’s not what I want to happen and life is hard.

Townie: Iowa held Michigan to 14 points but gave up a ton of sacks. Penn State’s offense is better than Michigan’s...and so is the defense. PSU’s first true road test is close, but not that close. PSU wins and covers.

Boilerman: Penn State is a bully of a team. In that they enjoy beating up on teams they should beat up on. Their problem is they haven’t played anyone with a pulse. I also don’t like Franklin in big game situations. I’m taking Iowa outright. Iowa 27, Penn State 24

MC: I don’t actually think that Iowa is going to win this game, but I’m just guessing this is the game where Kinnick does Kinnick things this year. Iowa!

Stew: I think Iowa makes this game dumb and ugly. But Iowa does extra dumb stuff and finds a way to lose, but still covers. Ferentz blames the defense for not pitching a shutout in a game where Iowa’s offense scores less than 20 and gives up 5+ sacks.

Dead Read: I really have no idea what will happen -- it is a night game at Kinnick. I will take PSU to cover.

BRT: Unless Iowa was really sandbagging last week (brilliant job, if so), I’m not sure I can pick them against another team with a pulse, because that was quite bad. I’ve just ensured they win though, so boo on me.

MNW: It’s a terrible world and Kinnick At Nite exists until I pick it to happen. YOU’RE WELCOME, WORLD. Iowa, 23-21.

Nebraska Cornhuskers at Minnesota Golden Gophers

6:30pm | FS1 | Gophers -8 | O/U 49

Straight-Up: Minnesota, 18-1
Against the Spread: Nebraska, 11-8

BrianB2: No idea. Is Nebrasks really all that bad? Is Minnesota really all that good? Minnesota with a chance to move to 6-0 against Nebraska at home, followed by Rutgers and Maryland, giving them almost certain odds to move to 8-0? Feels like a let down game to me, but sure, gimme Minnesota in a close one, the Gophers sitting at 8-0 is more fun than...like some other teams sitting at 8-0 (Fuckin’ Wake Forest)

Townie: Nebraska could be without rockstar quarterback Adrian Martinez. If that happens, it could be the difference in the game. Both teams give up a lot of points. Both teams score a lot of points. Without Martinez, I have to give the nod to Minny in this one. But this is really a toss up…

Boilerman: Minnesota continues to win in the dumbest ways possible against teams that should probably beat them. This week, I’m going with a triple doink field goal that somehow make its way through the goal posts as time expires.

/Checks weather forecast

Yep, it’s gonna be dumb. Gophers 17, Huskers 16

MC: Nebraska has been the better team to this point, but if they don’t have Martinez I’m not sure that’s still the case. I’m assuming they are just being coy about his status and we won’t see him in this one, so Nebraska beats the spread but can’t get the W.

Stew: Another insanely stupid game. Clownfraud trash Minnesota gets another lucky win over a bad team. I think Martinez makes an appearance and manages to help UNL cover.

Dead Read: I can picture Nebraska winning. I can even construct multiple scenarios where the Huskers win comfortably. Unfortunately, all of these scenarios are based on things I HOPE will happen, not on things that have actually occurred...you know, like this season on Planet Earth. Minnesota wins and covers. Prove me wrong, Nebby. Pretty please?

BRT: A temp in the 30s, with gusty winds and a chance for rain? Well, that sounds like the PERFECT thing for a team already prone to turnovers and that will likely (IMO) be playing without their starting quarterback. I think this game gets pretty stupid (seems to be our MO this year, as well as the Gophers’) and very well may get pretty ugly for Nebraska. I’m happy to be wrong though. Anyway… CHAIR!

Dead Read: Hell, yes! You can throw the records out the window when you’re playin’ for the hardware! CHAIR!

(Unfortunately, you cannot throw out blustery weather while playing with a backup quarterback.)

MNW: Not only is Northwestern aggressively shitty, they’ve prevented us from seeing what Adrian Martinez can do against fraudulent Minnesota. Sorry, Noah Vedral. Lane McCallum hits 2 field goals, misses the one that matters. Minnesota, 22-20.