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Don’t Watch This; Watch That: Your Week 8 College Football Viewing Guide

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In which we name cities, promote new spellings of Ragin’ Cajuns, and marvel at how bad the ACC and Big XII might be...

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: OCT 12 Florida State at Clemson Photo by John Byrum/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

If you’re well-traveled (or maybe not), I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do:

Go take that quiz. See you in a month.

Thursday Night

Don’t Watch This

East Tennessee State Buccaneers at Chattanooga Mocs [6pm, ESPN+]
{WSOC} Indiana at Maryland [5pm, BTN]
{WSOC} Purdue at Rutgers [7pm, BTN]
{NHL} New York Rangers at New Jersey Devils [6pm, NBCSN]
{NFL} Kansas City Chiefs at Denver Broncos [7:20pm, FOX]
{MLB, Game 4} Houston Astros play the New York Yankees somewhere [1:08am GMT, FS1]

Watch That

Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns at Arkansas State Red Wolves

6:30pm | ESPNU | UL-L -6.5 | O/U 67

UCLA Bruins at Stanford Cardinal

8pm | ESPN | Stanford -7 | O/U 52.5

Our “intrepid” “reporter” beez has noted that the University of Louisiana at Lafayette is very particular about how their name should be spelled or abbreviated, and now I’m incredibly paranoid that I’m violating those conventions here. What I would like to know is how to use the chili pepper apostrophe. For example, is this

Louisiana Ragin ️ Cajuns

acceptable? Edit: Apparently not—the pepper doesn’t show up! Goddamnit, SBNation.

Poll

Thursday night, what’s on TV?

This poll is closed

  • 5%
    Louisiana-Arkansas State
    (10 votes)
  • 14%
    UCLA-Stanford
    (26 votes)
  • 22%
    MLB
    (39 votes)
  • 16%
    NFL
    (29 votes)
  • 40%
    I think I’ll read a good book
    (71 votes)
175 votes total Vote Now

Friday Night

Don’t Watch This

#4 Ohio State Buckeyes (-28, O/U 49.5) at Northwestern Wildcats [7:30pm, BTN]
UNLV Rebels at Fresno State Bulldogs (-15, 53.5) [9pm, CBSSN]
{MLB} Yankees in a cornfield somewhere against the Astros [6:08pm, FS1]

Watch That

Marshall Thundering Herd at Florida Atlantic Owls

5:30pm | CBSSN | FAU -5.5 | O/U 58

Pittsburgh Panthers at Syracuse Orange

6pm | ESPN | Pitt -3.5 | O/U 52

{VB} #17 Illinois at #6 wisconsin

8pm | BTN

Ohio State-Northwestern has been moved to BTN after yesterday’s cancellation of Yankees-Astros bumped that series back a day. This is an Objectively Good Thing, as I’m sure fewer people get BTN than do FS1 (or that fewer people will be as likely to watch the game).

Look, if we’re being honest with ourselves, this isn’t a great lineup. I would watch UNLV-Fresno after getting out of the NU game, if only because this happened last week:

If QB Kenyon Oblad would have been playing for UNLV against Northwestern, that would’ve been a one-score game. That first TD pass was ️ ️ ️.

Anyhow Pitt-Syracuse is happening, and here are the last four games in that storied rivalry:

  • 2018: Pitt, 44-37
  • 2017: Syracuse, 27-24
  • 2016: Pitt, 76-61
  • 2015: Pitt, 23-20

You tune in to games like that.

Poll

FIRE UP FOX BUSINESS CHANNEL! WE’RE WATCHING...

This poll is closed

  • 43%
    The OSU Mollywhopping of Northwestern
    (93 votes)
  • 0%
    Marshall-FAU
    (1 vote)
  • 13%
    Pitt-Syracuse
    (28 votes)
  • 11%
    Yankees-Astros
    (25 votes)
  • 0%
    Fresno-UNLV
    (1 vote)
  • 14%
    Volleyball!
    (31 votes)
  • 15%
    Maybe college hockey on a cable access channel or something...
    (33 votes)
212 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Morning

Don’t Watch This

#3 Clemson Tigers (-24, O/U 60.5) at Louisville Cardinals [11am, ABC]
West Virginia Mountaineers at #5 Oklahoma Sooners (-33.5, O/U 65) [11am, FOX]
#6 wisconsin badgers (-31, O/U 51) at Illinois Fighting Illini [11am, BTN]
#9 Florida Gators (-5, O/U 48.5) at South Carolina Gamecocks [11am, ESPN]
#11 Auburn Tigers (-19.5, O/U 55.5) at Arkansas Razorbacks [11am, SECN]
Purdue Boilermakers at #23 Iowa Hawkeyes (-18, O/U 48.5) [11am, ESPN2]
Houston Cougars (-22, O/U 58) at UConn Huskies [11am, ESPNU]
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets at Miami-Florida Hurricanes (-18, O/U 46) [11am, ACCN]
{EPL} Crystal Palace vs. Manchester City [11:30am, NBC]

Watch That

N.C. State Wolfpack at Boston College Eagles

11am | ACCNx | NCSt -3.5 | O/U 53.5

Iowa St. Cyclones at Texas Tech Red Raiders

11am | FS1 | ISU -7 | O/U 55.5

Kent State Golden Flashes at Ohio Bobcats

11am | CBSSN | Ohio -7.5 | O/U 61.5

I don’t know if we’ll see a morning that bad the rest of the year. There is nothing to watch—which is a good thing for me, because my hungover ass will be dead on the basement couch as the wife gets ready for the wedding we’re going to and I vow I’m never drinking again.

As a result, I chose three conferences—the ACC, the Big XII, and the MAC—where absolutely no one outside the 1-2 dominant team(s) has taken the initiative. Every non-Clemson team in the ACC has a conference loss, and only one other—Wake Forest, who just lost to Louisville—has only one total loss on the season. Maybe Baylor’s for real in the Big XII at 6-0 (3-0), but after them and Oklahoma everyone’s got at least 2 losses. Just like last year, we could see nine of the Big XII teams make it to bowl eligibility, or we could see five. It is wide open and terrible. And in the MAC...

Dear God. Get that yardwork done and let’s get to the afternoon.

Poll

On a Saturday morning to get yardwork done, you’ll instead neglect that and watch...

This poll is closed

  • 53%
    My Big Ten team playing
    (85 votes)
  • 1%
    NC State-Boston College
    (2 votes)
  • 11%
    Iowa State-Texas Tech
    (18 votes)
  • 5%
    Kent State-Ohio
    (8 votes)
  • 3%
    Auburn-Arkansas
    (6 votes)
  • 11%
    West-by-God at Oklahoma
    (19 votes)
  • 13%
    Crystal Palace-Man City
    (21 votes)
159 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Afternoon

Don’t Watch This

Toledo Rockets (-1.5, O/U 58.5) at Balls Tate Cardinals [1pm, ESPN+]
Central Michigan Chippewas (-11, O/U 54) at Bowling Green Falcons [1pm, ESPN3]
Northern Illinois Huskies (-2.5, O/U 48.5) at Miami Hydroxide Redhawks [1:30pm, ESPN+]
TCU Horned Frogs (-3.5, O/U 44.5) at Kansas State Wildcats [1:30pm, FS1]
Oregon State Beavers at California Golden Bears (-10.5, O/U 52) [1:30pm, Pac12]
Coastal Carolina Chanticleers at Georgia Southern Eagles (-6.5, O/U 45.5) [2pm, ESPN3]
Portland State Vikings at Northern Colorado Bears [2pm, Eleven]
#2 LSU Tigers (-18.5, O/U 61.5) at Mississippi St. Bulldogs [2:30pm, CBS]
#20 Minnesota Golden Gophers (-28.5, O/U 48) at Rutgers Scarlet Knights [2:30pm, BTN]
Tulsa Golden Hurricane at #21 Cincinnati Bearcats (-17, O/U 48) [2:30pm, ESPNU]
ULM Warhawks at #24 Appalachian St. Mountaineers (-14.5, O/U 67) [2:30pm, ESPN+]
South Florida Bulls at Navy Midshipmen (-14, O/U 51.5) [2:30pm, CBSSN]
Buffalo Bulls (-17, O/U 47.5) at Akron Zips [2:30pm, ESPN3]
North Carolina Tar Heels (-3.5, O/U 55.5) at Virginia Tech Hokies [2:30pm, ACCNx]
Duke Blue Devils at Virginia Cavaliers (-3.5, O/U 45.5) [2:30pm, ACCN]
#22 Missouri Tigers (-21, O/U 56.5) at Vanderbilt Commodores [3pm, SECN]
Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders at North Texas Mean Green (-7.5, O/U 59.5) [3pm, Facebook]
Old Dominion Monarchs at UAB Blazers (-16, O/U 44) [3pm, ESPN+]
Charlotte 49ers at Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (-8.5, O/U 48.5) [3pm, ESPN+]

Watch That

#12 Oregon Ducks at #25 Washington Huskies

2:30pm | ABC | Oregon -3 | O/U 51

Temple Owls at #19 SMU Mustangs

2:30pm | ESPN2 | SMU -7.5 | O/U 59

Southern Miss Golden Eagles at Louisiana Tech Bulldogs

Rivalry in Dixie: 2:30pm | NFL Network | LaTech -1 | O/U 57.5

Indiana Hoosiers at Maryland Terrapins

2:30pm | BTN | IU -5.5 | O/U 59.5

#18 Baylor Bears at Oklahoma State Cowboys

2:30pm | FOX | OKSt -3.5 | O/U 68

Couple spots I’d like to highlight on This Week in Rivalry Games:

  • Rivalry in Dixie! Did you know that Southern Miss-Louisiana Tech is one of the storied rivalries of Southern football? ME NEITHER! But I admire how its Wikipedia page commits to us not only understanding why this game matters, but how the word “Dixie” originated:

The word “Dixie” refers to privately issued currency from banks in Louisiana.[3] These banks issued ten-dollar notes,[4] labeled “Dix”, French for “ten”, on the reverse side. The notes were known as “Dixies” by English-speaking southerners, and the area around New Orleans and the French-speaking parts of Louisiana came to be known as “Dixieland”. Eventually, usage of the term broadened to refer to most of the Southern United States.

Anywho, a 1-point spread and a game on a pro football network seems pretty in keeping with what this column is all about—plus, Underdog Dynasty writer and LaTech fan Tanner Spearman is a friend of the program, and no doubt he’ll have thoughts on this game.

  • Battle of the Domes! That’s right, we’re going off-list for this one, as Idaho’s two FCS football programs meet this Saturday afternoon in Moscow. You might be asking: Does it have a cheesy logo that doesn’t relate to the name and displays the sponsor more prominently than the teams? Well, reader:

You know it does! (Actually I guess, I retrospect, that the curved top above the logo could be construed as a dome—and that it’s not easy to visualize a dome in an appealing way.) Regardless, neither the Idaho State Bengals nor the Idaho Vandals are currently very good, but the history of this rivalry gives us the greatest rivalry trophy ever constructed:

The King Spud Trophy
https://gomightyvandals.wordpress.com/lost-traditions/

Yes, the King Spud Trophy, which the two teams played for from 1962-1979. Eat your heart out, Land-Grant Trophy. This is a metallic potato with a face. Screw whatever shit the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl gives out, THIS should go to the winner.

Poll

Helluva afternoon...where do you turn?

This poll is closed

  • 21%
    Oregon-Washington
    (43 votes)
  • 7%
    Temple-SMU
    (14 votes)
  • 1%
    Rivalry in Dixie
    (2 votes)
  • 15%
    Indiana-Maryland
    (30 votes)
  • 2%
    Baylor-Oklahoma State
    (4 votes)
  • 32%
    Minnesota-Rutgers
    (64 votes)
  • 20%
    Some other crap
    (40 votes)
197 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Evening

Don’t Watch This

Kentucky Wildcats at #10 Georgia Bulldogs (-25, O/U 48) [5pm, ESPN]
#17 Arizona State Sun Devils at #13 Utah Utes (-14, O/U 48.5) [5pm, Pac12]
Kansas Jayhawks at #15 Texas Longhorns (-21, O/U 62) [6pm, LHN]
East Carolina Pirates at UCF Knights (-33.5, O/U 61.5) [6pm, CBSSN]
San Diego State Aztecs (-8, O/U 46.5) at San Jose State Spartans [6pm, ATSN]
Western Michigan Broncos (-9, O/U 61) at Eastern Michigan Eagles [6pm, ESPN+]
Army Black Knights (-6.5, O/U 57) at Georgia State Panthers [6pm, ESPN+]
UTEP Miners at FIU Sunblazers (-24, O/U 53.5) [6pm, ESPN+]
Texas A&M Aggies (-6.5, O/U 54.5) at Ole Miss Rebels [6:30pm, SECN]
Florida State Seminoles at Wake Forest Demon Deacons (-2.5, O/U 68.5) [6:30pm, ACCN]

Watch That

Rice Owls at UTSA Roadrunners

5pm | ESPN3 | Rice -4 | O/U 44.5

Tulane Green Wave at Memphis Tigers

6pm | ESPN2 | Memphis -4.5 | O/U 59.5

#16 Michigan Wolverines at #7 Penn State Nittany Lions

6:30pm | ABC | PSU -9 | O/U 46.5

I would, first, like to call to your attention that Rice-UTSA line. The Owls, at 0-6, go to San Antonio and are favored over the 1-5 Roadrunners by 4 points. Home dogs to a winless team at the halfway mark. That’s got to be a record.

DWT;WT Team of Choice Tulane is ROLLING right now, like an...unstoppable...wav—oh god.

Anyhow, turns out Tulane has beaten five teams—FIU, Missouri State, Houston, Army, and UConn—who might not actually be that good (Army just lost 17-8 at WKU, though the ‘Toppers might actually be decent now). As such, this game with Memphis—who just lost a squeaker to Temple and will be out for revenge after Tulane’s 40-24 stunner over the Tigers last year—could be a damn good one...or it could see Brady White and the high-powered Memphis offense hit bomb after bomb as Kenneth Gant hits edges and slashes the Green Wave defense. Nonetheless, Justin McMillan might be my favorite quarterback in the NCAA right now, and Darius Bradwell and Corey Dauphine remain a fun backfield tag-team.

I get that “custom” dictates you have to pretend to enjoy Penn State-Michigan or whatever, but there will be points in this game; don’t miss out.

Poll

As I down my third glass of wine with dinner, you sit down to watch...

This poll is closed

  • 80%
    Michigan-Penn State
    (162 votes)
  • 4%
    Tulane-Memphis
    (9 votes)
  • 0%
    Rice-UTSA
    (2 votes)
  • 5%
    Arizona State-Utah
    (11 votes)
  • 2%
    FSU-Wake Forest
    (5 votes)
  • 5%
    Something else entirely!
    (12 votes)
201 votes total Vote Now

It’s late and I’m drunk...

Don’t Watch This

Tennessee Volunteers at #1 Alabama Crimson Tide (-34.5, O/U 62) [8pm, ESPN]
Arizona Wildcats at USC Trojans (-10, O/U 66.5) [8:30pm, Pac12]
Nevada Wolf Pack at Utah State Aggies (-21, O/U 61.5) [9:15pm, ESPNU]

Watch That

#6 Montana Grizzlies at #14 Sacramento State Hornets

8pm | PlutoTV

#14 Boise State Broncos at BYU Cougars

9:15pm | ESPN2 | Boise -6.5 | O/U 49

Air Force Falcons at Hawaii Warriors

10pm | CBSSN | AFA -3 | O/U 63.5

The utter disrespect of making Hawaii three-point home dogs. THE UTTER DISRESPECT.

We at Don’t Watch This; Watch That will not stand for this. Did you see the offensive explosion my ‘Bows put up at Boise last weekend—NO DON’T LOOK AT WHAT THE DEFENSE DID—with Cole McDonald and Melquis Stovall? AND Cedric Byrd II is due for a bounceback performance! Hawaii’s only 17 places behind Air Force in Sagarin’s rankings, and they’re at home—I’m not sure what the oddsmakers saw here, but I know this is FREE MONEY for anyone who takes the ‘Bows.

Anyways, this is a WATCH THIS because it’s not even a Facebook watch—it’s on CBSSN, meaning you’ll be able to follow along as we throw all pretenses of defense and objective “journalisms” to the curb and pile up tweets about #HawaiiFB as we pick fights with hack Gopher blog managers and Purdue fans angry about Jeff Brohm.

Poll

As I belly up to the VFW bar, hopefully in time to catch the tail end of the Oktoberfest concert being put on by DR. KIELBASA, what will I watch?

This poll is closed

  • 20%
    Air Force-Hawaii
    (31 votes)
  • 10%
    Boise-BYU
    (16 votes)
  • 11%
    "You got PlutoTV at this bar?"
    (17 votes)
  • 7%
    Arizona-USC
    (11 votes)
  • 7%
    Alabama-Tennessee
    (11 votes)
  • 13%
    whatever the bartender has on
    (21 votes)
  • 29%
    lol i passed out hours ago
    (45 votes)
152 votes total Vote Now

Go Warriors.