Ed. Note: This week will be unusually sparse, as I am celebrating our anniversary with a special trip to Paris. I trust you can fling metaphorical feces at one another with a minimum of prompting from your humble writer.
Ten B1G Things
- Illinois picked a hell of a week to start playing football.
- That Bronx Cheer you hear is the B1G’s CFP hopes deflating.
- Oh look it’s up to OSU again. Shocking.
- Speaking of which...real glad Wisconsin will roll into the OSU game pissed off now.
- Big thanks to Paul Chryst for supplanting OSU/Purdue as the worst dicktrip in recent memory.
- Minnesota is leading the West.
- Minnesota could go undefeated in the West
- We are a few Gopher wins away from being through the looking glass.
- Between Minnesota and Michigan, who’d have guessed it would be Minnesota with the coaching hire that’s set to pan out?
- White Out games: 60% of the time, it works every time
- Jim Harbaugh, meet your new boogeyman.
- Iowa cracks the 20 point mark in offensive flurry
- Maryland makes triumphant return to mediocrity
- Friday night had a real high school feel to it: smart kids getting pantsed
Wisconsin at Illinois | Devastation, 24-23
Thump: SOME PEOPLE WAIT A LIFETIME
FOR A MOOOOMENT LIKE THIS
Beez: I’d be madder if I hadn’t seen Chryst and the offense pull the same game plan bullshit against northwestern. Absolutely unfathomable that this team can torch Michigan State and Michigan, but can’t score touchdowns against Illinois. The defense played well for as long as it could, but they can’t score 10+ points for the offense every week.
The kicker is going to catch crap for his miss, but this is all on the red zone play calling. The fact that the former future third place heisman contender got exactly one touch on first and goal from the 3 tells you all you need to know.
The story of this season will be how Wisconsin bounces back from two straight embarrassing losses as they head into the meat of the B1G West schedule and a hopeful run to a 30+ point loss against OSU. Or more likely a 20 point loss at Minnesota.
MC Clapyohandz: Honestly, good for Illinois. Wisconsin didn’t deserve a win in this one. Illinois had a clear game plan, Wisconsin did nothing to adjust, played to lose, and took the L they deserved. Absolute sleepwalk effort that wasn’t even enough to sneak past Illinois; bring that next week and watch OSU hang 80 on the board. They deserve all the shame and mockery coming their way, and I hope Chryst gets the third degree in his press conferences. Can’t mumbletalk your way through this one, explain how you didn’t come to play for Illinois.
OSU at Northwestern | OSU wins 52-3
Rapid Reaction: Weather looked nice!
MNW: What a beautiful afternoon. I had a beer called TACOCAT, met a reader, drank Templeton 6-year and Templeton Maple Cask, ate some amazing chili and some cannoli at a tailgate, and caught up with some good friends. Couple great finds in the archives, too, including a South Dakota rural radical organization that helped get Tom Daschle elected. Some great finds, productive day, wonderful weather, and good chili.
Because honestly there is no point. Pat Fitzgerald doesn’t have answers for this program, why should I?
LPW: (170 x 170 pixel vomiting image)
Michigan at Penn State | We are...the victors, 28-21
Rapid Reaction: The most wretched hive of scum and villainy this side of Mos Eisley
87townie: Well, Michigan probably should’ve taken this game to overtime. PSU came out hammering and went up 21-0 and then Michigan shut em down. But the final play of Michigan’s final drive really sums up Harbaugh’s tenure so far. Nearly everything went right, except the most important thing - catching the ball. As that last pass fell incomplete through David Bell’s hands, I felt relief...not victory. That was a close game. It pivoted on one or two plays. We survived...Bring ON GOLDY!
A-runny Yorkshirepudding: Give Michigan credit. The Wolverines looked like the better team for much of the night, but Penn State’s three-touchdown head start proved to be just enough thanks to a lunch-pail effort from the defense. Micah Parsons, Garrett Taylor, and company couldn’t get off the field in the second half, and they appeared worn down during back-to-back Michigan touchdown drives. However, they still hung on for one big stop, even if Ronnie Bell should have caught Shea Patterson’s final throw. Maybe Penn State would have moved the ball a little more easily if there was a running game to speak of, but Noah Cain, after breaking out last week at Iowa, only got five carries. A good deal of Penn State’s offense came from the electric KJ Hamler. Not only did he account for two of Sean Clifford’s three touchdown passes and 108 of his 182 passing yards, but he also served as the ball carrier on the game-clinching first down run.Give Michigan credit. The Wolverines looked like the better team for much of the night, but Penn State’s three-touchdown head start proved to be just enough thanks to a lunch-pail effort from the defense. Micah Parsons, Garrett Taylor, and company couldn’t get off the field in the second half, and they appeared worn down during back-to-back Michigan touchdown drives. However, they still hung on for one big stop, even if Ronnie Bell should have caught Shea Patterson’s final throw. Maybe Penn State would have moved the ball a little more easily if there was a running game to speak of, but Noah Cain, after breaking out last week at Iowa, only got five carries. A good deal of Penn State’s offense came from the electric KJ Hamler. Not only did he account for two of Sean Clifford’s three touchdown passes and 108 of his 182 passing yards, but he also served as the ball carrier on the game-clinching first down run.
Purdue at Iowa | Iowa wins 26-20
Rapid Reaction: Black, Gold, and yawns all over.
Stew: Iowa won, beating a team with a coach who knows how to beat a cover 2 better than most. And while Purdue hasn’t quit on the season, they’re hardly a good team, and Iowa still struggled to put them away. Iowa’s offense is still bad. The run game is broken, broken, broken. The runningbacks averaged under 4 yards per carry against Purdue’s Swiss cheese defense. And while Stanley was effective today, the redzone and 3rd down play calling was just atrocious. On the bright side, Keith Duncan leads the country in made FGs.
Creighton: If either Sindelar or Rondale was healthy, Iowa would’ve lost. I’m glad we survived, but we’re still settling for way too many field goals (Keith Duncan is now at 17 made this year). Positives? Tyler Goodson is awesome, the defense is still really good, when Stanley had time to throw he was mostly fine. Negatives: The OL is still not great, and Brian Ferentz has absolutely no idea what he’s doing once he gets inside the red zone. Iowa moves the ball ok, but someone needs to take the playbook away from him when we start sniffing the end zone because we’re leaving an unacceptable amount of points out there.
Bman: This game mirrored the 2017 Michigan in many way. The first half was a mixed bag which showed glimmers of hope. In the second half, Iowa lulled the Boilers to sleep. There’s many what-ifs and narratives that I won’t rehash. Take it as a chance to build experience and move on. There’s still a clear path forward to a bowl game. Purdue needs to execute to get there. Jack Plummer and David Bell continue to develop and show glimpses of what can be. Just need to be more consistent.
Minnesota at Rutgers | Minnesota dominates 42-7
Rapid Reaction: Welcome to the club, Minny.
WSR: I want to try to say positive things about the Gophers, but everything keeps swinging back to just how bad Rutgers is. While the score was only 14-0, the yardage disparity at the half was 230-29. The first snap in Rutgers territory by either team was on the 3rd Minnesota possession. Tanner Morgan had probably his worst passing game of the season, and still finished 15/28 245 2/0, but it didn’t matter because Rodney Smith and the RBs did their job again and the games was never really in doubt. Antoine Winfield Jr. decided that he no longer wanted to have a quiet yet exceptional season and had a pair of INTs, including one that he took back for six. The Gophers are 7-0 for the first time since 1960, and it’s pretty awesome. We’re in sole possession of first place in the West with yet another game on the PJ Fleck Revenge Tour 2019 next weekend against Maryland. If there was any real downside today, it was Kamal Martin getting hurt with what appeared to be a knee injury. He’s been exceptional at LB so far this year since he came back from his suspension for a violation of team rules last season, and if he’s out for an extended period of time it’s a big loss for what’s been a very good defense.
Zuzu: Never during my Rutgers career which started 7 years ago (ahh) would I have thought we could be this God-fucking-awful at football. This had been beyond pathetic for too long and continues to push the boundaries of what constitutes rock bottom. I don’t care that “we scored.” We’ve been outscored 207-14 through 5 Big Ten games.
Indiana at Maryland | Indiana wins the Krabby Patty Bucket, 34-28
Rapid Reaction: Peyton Ramsey is Shane Falco, leading a beleaguered team to victory in the DC area.
Candystripes: A kinda nervous win, but they all count the same in the end. 5 chances to get one more win. (Yes, I’m already thinking about it like this. I’ve seen this script play out waaaaaaaaaaaaay too many times before.)
DJ: Yep, I’m ready for basketball season