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The Weekly Mailbag/Friday Open Thread wonders if there are any good B1G Football teams in 2019.

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You know he wants to break into a dance routine right now.
Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images

HAPPY FRIDAY AFTERNOON EVERYONE! We’ve done it. As far as I’m aware, everyone made it through another week and gets to watch football tomorrow! (Side note: sorry to my Northwestern friends that don’t get to be done on a Friday night like last weekend. Hang in there baby!) Anyway, as you coast to end of the working week, here are our thoughts for the week. And just for fun, let us know who your favorite players are in the comments. Have a great night, and remember to wake up in time for the games tomorrow.

How do you feel about the fact that “Big Ten team” rutger is going to be mollywhopped by Liberty? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, or acceptance? - Hollywood Hawk Hogan

WSR: First of all, it’s anger. There’s no excuse for this. But we’ve already talked about Rutgers being in the B1G enough so that anger is also about them losing to the Fightin’ Falwells. This crap is just awful.

BrianB2: Acceptance, because in a way, they continue to distract some people from how terribly awful Maryland is.

Thumpasaurus: Double-cover Antonio Gandy-Golden. It would help if rutger weren’t following Houston’s lead and tanking their season with skill player redshirts. But seriously, double that dude and then run the ball. Win this damn game.

Candystripes: Honestly, I’m not convinced that the Fighting ‘Gers can’t win this. Mostly because I refuse to acknowledge that Liberty is a legitimate educational institution, but also because Liberty has beaten ones of decent teams this year. Not even good, decent.

Boilerman: First off, what psycho changed this to Comic Sans font? I’d rather not think about it. Kind of like how I’d rather not think about said “Big Ten Team.” (WSR Note: I was feeling evil when putting the doc together and it was originally in comic sans)

pkloa: Clearly denial, since I picked them to cover (win?) ATS.

Beez: You could not pick a worse team for Rutgers to lose to.

MNW: I was going to try and deep-dive this game, looking at how Freeze’s boys gave up 450 passing yards to FCS Maine in a 59-44 win, or allowed New Mexico State to keep it within one score, but then I realized that the Queensmen are just 18 spots ahead of the Aggies and 23 sports ahead of the Black Bears in Jeff Sagarin’s rankings.

But there’s no fucking point. Congrats to Falwell’s House of Tax-Dodging and Diploma Milling. Fuck you, Rutgers.

BRT: Anger. This is almost criminal.

Creighton: I’m angry because I thought this day was going to come when Liberty got its first bowl win, but I guess rutger would be required to make it to a bowl first. Seriously though, fire Liberty into the sun and rutger into the AAC.

What’s your favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream to eat while lamenting the end of an ultimately disappointing season? - waw

BrianB2: I think I have indulged in Ben & Jerry’s ice cream twice in my life. Generally I am a simple man when it comes to frozen desserts, give me a bowl of mint chocolate chip and I will be content.

WSR: I miss you, One Sweet Whirled. Just as much as I miss listening to DMB and not wondering what the hell I was doing, perhaps even moreso.

Boilerman: I’m sure I’ve eaten Ben and Jerry’s at some point in my life, I just don’t remember it.

Thumpasaurus: you mean lamenting the end of football season? NO SHUT UP, ME, GODDAMMIT I GET TO BE REALLY HAPPY

pkloa: Gimme that Cherry Garcia! I like most ice cream, honestly, so I can drown my sorrows on the cheap as well.

Beez: The answer is always Phish Food.

MNW: Not enough bang for your buck with B&J’s. Give me a gallon of that really fattening Kemps cookies and cream and leave me alone. There’s ice cream to be eaten.

MC ClapYoHandz: What a timely question! Strawberry Cheesecake is perfection and I largely avoid it due to about a dozen even more pressing dietary concerns.

BRT: Wow, I will never understand men. Ben and Jerry’s is amazing. I guess while you were all getting plastered in college, I was hanging out in sweatpants with my roommate eating Ben and Jerry’s and watching whatever we picked out from Blockbuster. It was a simpler time, and yes, I have always been this cool.

Anyway, Phish Food is the best (this is one more reason Beez and I are friends, besides that we photograph hilariously when together). Also a big fan of Half Baked, Karamel Sutra, and Americone Dream. ….and I think I just figured out my Friday night plans/gained five pounds.

Creighton: Half Baked. Then Phish Food if I want to change it up.

With the season roughly halfway done, who’s been everyone’s favorite player so far? -ATinyTerp94 (WSR Note; One from your team, one from your division, and one from the other division, please.)

BrianB2: Favorite on the Terps has probably been Javon Leake. He has been pretty explosive, averaging 8.5 yards per carry and has provided a nice spark during Anthony McFarland’s inconsistent, injury laden year. In the East it has been any Rutgers quarterback, because they are hilariously inept, and pooping on Rutgers is all I have left in my sad, pathetic existence. In the West it is hard not to pick Jonathan Taylor.

WSR: All right, my favorite players to watch this year have been Rashod Bateman for the Gophers, because he’s had a number of just insane catches. In the West it’s Wan’Dale Robinson from Nebraska, because the fact that his OL is 5 burning sacks of garbage in front of him makes his slipperiness even more entertaining. And in the East, it’s too easy to just pick a Buckeye, but Fields and Dobbins are just a blast to watch. I’ll say Fields because he’s got a friggen cannon for an arm and that makes me jealous at times.

Thumpasaurus: After all the shit he’s gone through, from the multiple coaching staff shakeups to the investigation to the consecutive tears of different ACLs, it’s a joy to watch Dre Brown run the ball. He’s a more physical runner than Corbin, as Faion Hicks found out the hard way on Illinois’ final drive. Josh Imatorbhebhe is the poorest of poor men’s Terrell Owens as far as his raw athleticism as a big strong receiver that can catch it with guys draped all over them and then shake them off like a dog shaking off water is concerned. And honestly, even though it’s frustrating, it can be a lot of fun to watch James McCourt attempt field goals from ridiculous distances.

Moving away from my team, Adrian Martinez is really fun to watch when healthy, and it’s not always for the best reasons. He makes spectacular plays that aren’t always good, but he has incredible upside. Over on the other side, screw the Buckeyes, give me KJ Hamler. With Penn State not on the Illinois schedule this year, his highlights have been more fun. Absolutely a guy that can score at any time.

Outside of the Big Ten, the LSU passing game is fun to watch, but perhaps few players are more fun to watch than the quarterbacks on either side of the Red River Shootout. Jalen Hurts does it better, but neither him nor Sam Ehlinger are 100% sure about the position that they play because they sometimes think that they’re halfbacks, specifically of the 3rd-down-power-back variety. Sometimes they even think they’re fullbacks. Hurts is improving his risk-taking, but if he stays healthy and I get my dream matchup in the CFP, it will be a BLAST to watch Hurts vs the Tide.

pkloa: Micah Parsons has been outstanding so far this year, so he gets my pick for the Lions.

My other East Division standout is Penix, for his play and demeanor.

And out of the West is Minnesota Special Teamer Casey O’Brien, featured just this week in the OTE POTW article. Go back and read it if you haven’t already.

Beez: Zach Baun from my own team. KJ Hamler from not-my-own division. Blake Hayes from my own division. Shame on everyone else for not picking a punter.

MNW: Dan Kubiuk and Adam Korsak. Heroes.

MC: We only have Jonathan Taylor for a few more games and I’m taking in every minute of it. In the West I’m never not going to pick Rondale, he’s must see TV and the only reason to pay mind to Purdue. Honorable-ish mention to Shannon Brooks, because despite his horrific taste in schools I can get behind the barehanded RB look. In the East I’ll take Chase Young, he’s not human and I hope he’s not mad about something on Saturday.

BRT: Wan’Dale Robinson from my team, JTT from Wisconsin, and I don’t watch any East teams.

What is Lovie’s post-game locker room dance move: the sprinkler, the robot, or YMCA? Bonus points if you can come up with something even better - wankerman

WSR: I bet Lovie has the best damn Robot any of us could ever dream of seeing. The man looks so pained that he has to have some joyful secret like that. What should it be? The Charleston.

BrianB2: I thought I saw someone refer to it as “the snowball”, which I will roll with, because it correlates nicely with his lush, snowy beard.

Candystripes: The Running Man, though his is a pale second to the team of Pat Fitzgerald and Mick McCall. Because….well, you know.

Thumpasaurus: Would it really shock anybody if Lovie had an absolutely perfect moonwalk and the nastiest pop-lock moves you’ve ever seen in a football locker room, but kept this under wraps and never allowed it to be filmed?

Boilerman: I’ve gotta go with Thump on this one. Lovie’s got the moves but won’t showcase it.

Beez: If anything, Lovie does The Bernie or The Cat Daddy. Hopefully the Cat Daddy.

MC: I think Lovie’s still rocking the Macarena.

BRT: I think Lovie is secretly a great dancer and has a routine that cannot be named by simple gimmick moves.

College Gameday in South Dakota. Thoughts? - LL Sota

WSR: I can’t believe Gameday is going to watch 13th grade football. The most frustrating thing is that they’re not even the best team that’s lost to Minnesota this year.

BrianB2: Any opportunity we get to see Lee Corse sport the head of a Jackrabbit is good television in my book.

Candystripes: Just more proof that Gameday will truly go anywhere. Like noted football town Bloomington, IN.

Thumpasaurus: Someday, College Gameday will come to Champaign, and when they do, I really hope there’s a segment on Byers Vacuum, the evangelical vacuum repair shop that is somehow still in business on 1st and University.

Boilerman: I’m kinda over the Gameday on campus stuff. Especially when they are going to freaking Ireland later this season.

pkloa: lol @ Wisconsin

Beez: It’s cool for a school like SDSU to get Gameday, but it’s uber patronizing. Gameday only does two things: (1) Go to a big name school for a high ranking matchup, or (2) patronize the shit out of a school or a conference or a division by gracing them with the presence of a bunch of windbags, and sometimes John Goodman, for a few hours. Gameday should REALLY be spending time at some P5 and G5 schools that don’t get attention except in very rare circumstances. Why does it never go to BYU-Utah? Or Purdue-Indiana?

MNW: Adam Vinateri’s been ruled out, meaning famous Jackrabbits are basically down to nopolitics choices, USD alum Tom Brokaw, current half-famous players like Dallas Goedert or Zach Zenner, or Webster, SD, native Brock Lesnar.

And to answer Beez’s (probably rhetorical) question, it’s because ESPN needs to remind you that they are the sports station of The Average Man. No, parochial in Flyover Country, while others may forget about you, WE at ESPN would NEVER do such a thing. Now, if you’ll excuse us, our Bristol, CT-based anchors will get back to making jokes like “Didja get lost coming back from the cornfields, Lee?” next week.

MC: Sorry.

BRT: Do they have Pizza Ranches in South Dakota, do you think?

So other than OSU, Penn St and the turbo weasels of Madison is anyone in the B1G actually good? - Free Beer Tomorrow

WSR: Good? Yeah. Minnesota is good. wisconsin is good. Iowa is good on defense. Michigan is kinda good, but kinda trash. Better than good? Nope.

BrianB2: Again, Minnesota is going 13-0 and has a date with Alabama on December 28th. You heard it here first...and most likely last.

Boilerman: Good is relative. The bottom of the conference above rutgres is by-and-large hot garbage in one form or another, so to compare it to those teams, yeah, there’s some good teams near the upper half of the conference.

pkloa: The B1G still has seven teams in the SP+ top 25. If that doesn’t qualify as a “good” team, then all non-Buckeye teams are hosed. Then again, the same metric has noted bad team MSU at 28, so grain of salt and all that.

Beez: Two thoughts. First, OSU is tremendous, PSU seems pretty good, and there are 5ish other “good” teams in the Big Ten. Second: “WSR:wisconsin is good.”

MNW: OSU is good.

MC: Everyone sucks and everything sucks and you all suck and it’s time for Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream.

Poll

Do you like Ben & Jerry’s ice cream?

This poll is closed

  • 65%
    Yes! I’m a wonderful person, so obviously I like it.
    (72 votes)
  • 34%
    No. I’m a terrible person and complain about ice cream.
    (38 votes)
110 votes total Vote Now