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The OTE “Writers” Want to Know If You’d Hire Urban Meyer For Your Team, Other Mailbag Responses, and Friday Open Thread

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Row your way to Iowa Championship Week with our whimsy.

HAPPY FRIDAY, Y’ALL! We made it! Everybody in God’s Time Zone is ready to coast to the finish line, power down their computer, and make a run for the door the instant their boss isn’t looking. In the meantime, here’s a few of our thoughts to help burn a few more seconds. If you’re feeling up to it, please share your favorite game in terms of the atmosphere in the comments. Good luck, Row the Boat, FREE FLOYD!, and have a safe and fun weekend.

Which B1G teams would NOT fire their current coach and hire Urban Meyer? Other P5 teams? - Pkloa

Stew: Definitely not: Iowa, OSU, wisconsin, jNW

Probably not: Minnesota

Pkloa: Penn State and Ohio State are hard NOs, probably Wisconsin and Northwestern, also. Of course, our ADs likely talk with each other, so Meyer could be a NO throughout the entire conference except Michigan. Nationwide, I could see BYU not wanting to get saddled with the eternal damnation, and Alabama has a better option already. Almost everyone else seems on the table.

Stew: I don’t think PSU is a hard no. But probably no.

Andrewkrazylonglastname: PSU hiring Meyer right now would be putting him in the same situations he had at Florida and OSU. They’d win at least one title in very short order, it would be idiocy for them not to hire him if they could. I’m not sure anyone is home at the MSU AD, they’re probably content to let one of Dantonio’s middling assistants take over for him. The really interesting one is Michigan, where I would expect the Michigan Man construct prevents them from doing it

Pkloa: experience in scandals... ¡No más!

Stew: ...you serious, Clark? Do you not know about Franklin’s time at Vandy?

Beez: Minnesota and Penn State? Probably Wisconsin, OSU, and Iowa? I’m not certain any of the teams would fire their coach JUST because Meyer is available, though.

WSR: Ohio State, Penn State, Minnesota are definitely no. Iowa’s a probably no. Northwestern, wisconsin, Nebraska, and Michigan have mediocre alumni so are probably no as well. But other than that? Maybe Purdue or Indiana? I wouldn’t put money on that.

Also who will be ranked again first? Purdue, Illinois, or Rutgers? - boilerup86

Thumpasaurus: Illinois. There’s a pretty decent case for them finishing with 8 wins after the bowl and then starting 5-1 next year. Virtually nobody graduates, and the schedule is pretty back-loaded. I’m calling my shot.

BRT: Nebraska. Apparently four wins is good enough for a pre-season ranking. In your face, losers!

pkloa: Brohm-Frost starts off 2020 with a bang. If Purdue wins at Lincoln, the Boilermakers could be 6-0 through mid-October.

BrianB2: I was going to be mad for not including Maryland, as I have already forgotten about our one week stint in the rankings earlier this season, thanks DINO! Purdue is the safe answer, Illinois is the fun answer and Rutgers is the wrong answer.

Beez: Purdue and Illinois are 1 and whatever is slightly less likely than 1, but not so unlikely as to be 2. Rutgers lol.

MNW: Purdue, then Illinois. If and when the Knights drop down to FCS, I could see them earning a ranking...maybe by about 2021? They’ll spend a couple years getting their asses kicked by Villanova and James Madison, but I have confidence they’ll turn it around.

Jesse: A better question might be “how many P5 teams will be ranked before Rutgers is ranked again” and my answer is somewhere between All-of-them and All-of-them.

WSR: You know what? I’m going with Illinois. There’s a chance they could get ahold of a #25 spot with 2 more wins, which...Northwestern and a Bowl? Do it, Illinois.

How much will you enjoy the Schadenfreude if Minnesota clinches the division the next two weeks and renders the big showdown with Wisconsin completely nugatory? - Stormy Dragon

BRT: What schadenfreude would this be?

pkloa: It would be nice to see the Gophers clinch early, maybe even resting starters against the Badgers. I want Minnesota at their best for the big rematch in Indianapolis.

BrianB2: I’m pretty much a closeted Minnesota fan at this point. GO GOPHERS! Wait, does this mean I just came out of the closet? ZING.

Boilerman: I’m trying to see where there will be any Schadenfreude.

Beez: Minnesota clinching early is the nightmare because then all the horrible Minnesota fans have a win-win situation. Either “Minnesota clinched and the game didn’t matter but won anyway lol” or “lol Minnesota already clinched so they weren’t even trying to win so Wisconsin’s win doesn’t really count.”

MNW: Yeah what in the world do you think ‘schadenfreude’ means?

Thumpasaurus: How much...will I enjoy...my team being eliminated from DIVISIONAL TITLE CONTENTION?

WSR: Maybe people are ashamed to be cheering for Minnesota? That’s gotta be it, right?

My question: What would the score have been in the Bama-LSU game if Joe Burrow was still at OSU? (And where would Justin Fields now be?) - erkper

pkloa: 37.5 to ☆, Fields would be patiently waiting out his year in College Park, MD

Boilerman: Fuck the SEC.

Beez: Wait, why did I think Joe Burrow was a former Purdue QB? Did LSU have a QB who used to be at Purdue but left?

MNW: Beez is thinking of Danny Etling. The Duke of TDs led the Tigers to a 9-4 record and a Citrus Bowl loss in 2017.

Thumpasaurus: Not to mention the unforgettable showdown with Austin Appleby’s Florida Gators. Wait, that happened, right?

Jesse: This somewhat revisionist history where we think Burrow was always this good and was just wasted talent somewhat ignores that he wasn’t exactly great last year and this has been bolstered by a coach who realizes that offense - and thus, using his ridiculously athletic skill position players - actually matters, right? Also, still bitter Nebraska didn’t offer him.

WSR: You know what’s more fun to think about Alabama beating LSU 38-17 or Joe Burrow being at tOSU and Fields being...I dunno, Mississippi State? They pay well, right?

This:

What conference will have the best conference championship game? - AlltheIowanamesaretaken

Thumpasaurus: The MAC. It certainly did last year.

Candystripes: I for one can’t wait to see Minnesota take on IU in the Big Ten Championship game, as this is the best possible combination of teams still eligible for the spots and no one can convince me otherwise.

BRT: Does the Big XII have one now? That would be fun. I don’t know, I’m not super invested in December football, for obvious reasons.

pkloa: Big XII is lining up to be a Baylor-Oklahoma rematch. Lions/Gophers II should be a good one.

Beez: Sun Belt.

MNW: My gut reaction is the American.

We’ll likely watch a matchup of the Cincinnati Bearcats with any of currently 5-1 SMU Mustangs, 5-1 Navy Midshipmen, or 4-1 Memphis Tigers (next weekend’s SMU-at-Navy showdown will go a long way in determining that). Memphis has two road games and then hosts Cincy to close the year, SMU goes @Navy, vs. Tulane, and Navy goes vs. SMU, @Houston. If I were handicapping just that division, I’d give it to 7-1 SMU over 6-2 Navy and 6-2 Memphis. And an SMU-Cincinnati final would be a helluva contrast in styles.

But let’s look at the rest:

  • ACC: Clemson Tigers vs. Tomato Can lolnothanks
  • Big XII: Probably a rematch of Baylor vs. Oklahoma? Maybe Texas slips in somehow? No thanks.
  • B1G: Ohio State-Minnesota. Pass.
  • C-USA: From the West, LaTech. From the East, FAU should sweep UTSA and USM to get to 7-1. If Marshall survives LaTech tonight, though, they have the tiebreaker on the Owls. So we’ll see either a redux of LaTech-Marshall (YAY!) or LaTech-FAU (YAY!).
  • MAC: MIAMI HYDROXIDE! They’ll get WMU, unless Central or Balls Tate runs the table (Broncos have the breaker on both of them). I love me some Chuck Martin, but I don’t think this’ll be the most competitive game in the world. Last year’s MACtion, though, if I would’ve been there, looked like a blast!
  • MWC: Bloom’s off the rose of San Diego State and Hawaii. The 4-2 Aztecs have a tough row to hoe, with Fresno coming tomorrow and going to Hawaii after, while Hawaii goes to UNLV before hosting the Aztecs. I think Hawaii-San Diego decides who gets their doors blown off by Boise State (unless the Broncos lose at Utah State next weekend and the Aggies steal the bid).
  • Pac-12: Oh, right, the College Football Playoff has totally set up Oregon-Utah as a thing that definitely won’t be boring but should have real stakes so they don’t send a non-division champion Alabama to the CFP for the seventeenth consecutive year. The only way this will be exciting is if UCLA pulls a Northwestern, wins out in the South, and goes to Santa Clara at 7-5 (7-2).
  • SEC: LSU-Georgia. No thanks.

Looking at that, yeah, it’s the American for sure. But I think C-USA is a sneaky good option, and I suppose you could talk me into the Pac-12, but I want to be bitter about it.

Jesse: I’m just here to say that I’m happy MNW did the homework so I can say “Yeah, the American for sure”

WSR: Hey, it could be a fun B1GCG. We get either a revenge-minded PSU or, I guess, tOSU if they sneak past the Nittany Lions. That’ll be fun! **chugs bleach**

What’s your favorite sporting event you’ve ever been to in regards to the atmosphere of the game? - WSR

Thumpasaurus: Oh man, I had a beautiful answer typed up until I reread the question and saw that it was “in regards to the atmosphere,” not “regardless of the atmosphere.” Dammit. Well, Illinois clobbering Indiana under the lights in 2008 to a packed house was awfully fun, as was the 2011 Arizona State game and the entire day through the first half of the 2016 North Carolina game. Lambeau Field against the Bears on Christmas Day was incredible, and it sure was electric when I saw a top-10 Oklahoma team eviscerate Texas Tech.

However, for atmosphere, I’m sorry to do this to all of y’all...but nothing compares to NASCAR races between 1998 and 2004. They used to cram well over 160,000 people into virtually every single one of these, and tens of thousands more would camp outside the track during the race. It wasn’t just the 190,000 people that cheered over the sound of 43 race cars at Talladega, it was also the countless acres of tailgating I walked through to get to the track. I’ll never forget the sound of a whole field of V8 monsters being drowned out by a crowd when Dale Earnhardt took a late lead at the DieHard 500. After his 2001 death, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. became the unofficial Home Team of NASCAR, so every time he took the lead for the rest of his career, the whole crowd would erupt. After 2007 when the crowds sharply declined, it was still pretty dramatic, but it was DEAFENING before that time.

There may never be another sports hype crescendo quite like NASCAR’s.

Candystripes: Indiana 73, #1 Kentucky 72. The Wat Shot. The catharsis that finally put the Sampson era to bed. A game where the student section was “on” from before the tip, and even in the balcony you could feel that this game was much more intense than every other IU game before it. The only time (in my four years on campus) that the student section spontaneously joined in on the singing of the National Anthem, and it was loud. There was a noticeable decline in energy after the Hoosiers coughed up a 10 point lead and needed some incredible heroics at the end of the game to pull it out, but once the shot hit the twine, the noise level went from nearly nothing to “YOU ARE NO LONGER CAPABLE OF RATIONAL THOUGHT; GET TO THE FLOOR NOW!” The students were still on the floor at least 30 minutes after the game ended, with much rejoicing, singing, and chanting involved (the one that I remember distinctly was a ‘Let’s Get Wasted!’ chant right before a large percentage of the crowd headed down to Kirkwood Avenue to continue the celebrations).

BRT: There are several contenders, but it comes down to two for me. One is Nebrasketball’s 2014 upset over #9 Wisconsin. It was absolutely electric, and one of the biggest Nebrasketball wins ever. I’d gotten excellent, close seats early in the season for super cheap when everyone thought they’d be terrible.

But probably my favorite was the 2017 National Semi-Final against--who else?--Penn State. It was in Kansas City, so the whole place was red. I brought a friend of a friend from Australia who had never been to a game because my mom couldn’t go--and what a first match for someone! It was everything a Nebraska-PSU volleyball match often is--close, dramatic, and five thrilling sets with the Huskers prevailing. The Huskers went on to win another National Championship two nights later against Florida, a match I also attended and loved, but the stakes, quality, and electricity in that semifinal were unforgettable.

BrianB2: The game was pretty arbitrary, but Maryland basketball played North Carolina in 2010 between two blizzards. At least they were blizzards by our standards. The student allotment of tickets generally runs out for games against teams of UNC’s notoriety, but given the weather, the university sent out an email saying anyone with a current and valid student ID would be permitted into the game. THEN, at the under 8 timeout in the first half they encouraged fans to move down and fill in any empty seats in the lower bowl. So basically, while the arena was only 65-75% full, it was almost entirely students, which certainly made for an interesting atmosphere. AND we won, so that was fun.

I went to my first NFL playoff game last year. Meh. To briefly expand on what Thump said above. I went to a race at Bristol Motor Speedway around 2004. The spectacle of the crowd did indeed inspire awe. The spectacle of NASCAR, however, did not.

Boilerman: The one that registers almost immediately is 2008 when Purdue hosted Wisconsin in Mackey Arena. Purdue had been picked to be in the bottom half of the B1G that year but had a talented young core that had been named the “Baby Boilers”. The atmosphere was truly electric. It was one of the first times I can remember the noise inside Mackey Arena hurting my ears. Purdue would go on to upset the Badgers 72-67 and it’s the first time I can remember the Paint Crew storming the court after the game.

Beez: The first playoff game the Twins hosted in the Metrodome the year they beat the A’s and then lost to the Angels. An A’s player lost a popup in the dumb white ceiling of the Metrodome early in the game and it was the loudest thing I’ve ever heard.

Jesse: There are three that instantly come to mind and none of them are football related. The first is Final Four Volleyball in 2015. Just insane electricity and a lot of fun with Kansas making their little run. Watched Texas the match before that too, which was wild considering how much the crowd rooted against them and they fed off of it. Just a blast across the board.

The second is Nebraska baseball’s second trip to the CWS in 2002. Managed to get tickets to see the insanity and it was a blast. Nebraska did not beat Clemson, but we sure as hell had a lot of fun getting there.

Last is random, but sticks out because of its uniqueness and ownership by the city: Crawford-Jean fight in Omaha. I don’t even know how to really describe it, but the atmosphere, crowd, etc. was just wild. It was a HBO title fight and everyone was dressed up, but we were in downtown Omaha. Super fun stuff and something I’ll never forget.

WSR: All right, there have been a few Vikings games and Wild playoff games that were just insane. And Game 163 in 2009 between the Tigers and Twins was absolutely insane. One other runner-up that comes immediately to mind was the 2009 TCF Bank Stadium opener against Air Force, which was nearly all emotion and very little about football. But the top spot is a tie of a pair of Gophers sporting events: One of them is last weekend against Penn State. The football was amazing and the crowd was even better. It’s not a day I’m going to forget any time soon. The other? On March 1st, 1997 some asshole named Knight brought his basektball team to Williams Arena to play the #2 ranked Gophers. Hooobaby was that a game. Minnesota ended up pulling off the win 75-72, and the most memorable part is Clem being slightly irritated with the officials (which included one “T. Valentine”), ripping his jacket off, and getting T’d up. He must have had that one measured because the crowd, which was ready to go all day, found another level and just went plaid. That game is why I say to this day that the best venue for a big sporting event in the Twin Cities will always be Williams Arena when the team is good. It just feels like the whole damn place is going to fall down around you because it’s echoing so loudly, and that wouldn’t be the worst way in the world to go.

Poll

Would you want Urban Meyer to coach your team next year?

This poll is closed

  • 16%
    Yes
    (29 votes)
  • 71%
    No
    (125 votes)
  • 12%
    I’m a Rutgers fan and why isn’t the money I’m throwing at the screen getting to him?
    (22 votes)
176 votes total Vote Now