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Fall’s Tarts: 2019 Tart Of The Year Top Three Countdown!

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These three are surely immortal.

Here we finally are, at the end of the Fall’s Tarts Tart of the Year 2019 countdown. I’ve had a lot of fun with this, and BigRedTwice is fantastic for providing this series over the seasons. Not only are they great to read each week, but they catalog these silly, dumb, funny moments in an archive so we can go back and remember times this sport made us laugh.

We’ve had some funny little incidents on this countdown. But folks, let me tell you this. There’s a very clear separation between this top three and the rest of the field. As a matter of fact, if there were a Fall’s Tarts Hall of Fame, even if it went back decades, I think these three would be first-ballot Hall of Famers. This is it, folks. The main event.

#3: Scott Frost Says Hoodies Make His Team Weak While Himself Wearing A Hoodie (191 pts, 2 first place votes)

The Chosen One that would bring balance to the Nebraska became upset after a lopsided road loss to Minnesota. He took to the mic waxing nostalgic for the old days of Nebraska Football, as Nebraska fans often do. He then started to lose the plot.

Frost’s standards for toughness apparently leave no room for players to warm up in the cold at Minnesota while wearing hoodies. Now, the argument that coming out into the cold bare-chested in shorts and then conducting team warmups dressed this way will strike fear into the hearts of the opponent is certainly one argument. It’s completely facile, but it is an argument. Frost went even farther, saying that to dress appropriately for the weather conveyed a sense of contentment and entitlement.

At this point, I imagine Nebraska fans were desperate for him to stop talking.

please scott, please stop, don’t continue with this thread, i beg you

Nevertheless, he persisted.

He went so far as to say that back in the good ol’ days, such behavior would get you beat up by your teammates.

“Such Behavior” quite literally refers to “wearing hoodies.” So Scott Frost wants his team to physically assault any team members wearing hoodies.

This is a mix of funny and troubling; he clearly got carried away, but there’s a problem with the underlying themes. However, he ended up at the conclusion that wearing hoodies is bad and you should be beaten for it.

When you go on this specific rant, there is only one item of clothing you can’t be wearing,

In fact, if you wear that item of clothing during this rant, you will DEFINITELY end up on a list like this.

#2: Hashtag I Don’t Care (233 pts, 2 fpv)

Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald has been undergoing a metamorphosis for quite some time now, and his journey to being an out-of-touch old man had been gradual and somewhat subtle.

Big Ten Media Days 2019, then, marked the moment when Boomer Fitz truly arrived, as he issued a hell of a take in blaming declining attendance on the kids and their smartphones and apps.

This was just a taste of the power of Boomer Fitz, however.

Early in the year, he reminded us that Boomer Fitz was going nowhere by blaming a season-opening loss to Stanford on the players being on their phones too much. Already, he was becoming a meme.

This wasn’t even his final form.

In the wake of a crushing loss to Michigan State, Fitz took umbrage at a question posed about potential adjustments to the offensive game plan. His response was to address the “40,000 critics on Twitter that know better” by providing his contact info. “My email address is Hashtag I Don’t Care”

Imagine something your dad would say as a strong passive-aggressive complaint about everyone using their phones at the dinner table. How much does it sound like Pat Fitzgerald?

#1: The Sitkowski Punch (293 pts, 10 fpv)

A ’Gers offense that had had little to celebrate over the course of Chris Ash’s entire tenure found a long Raheem Blackshear touchdown against Boston College and in the wake of this, center Michael Maietti had his body possessed by irrepressible exuberance.

This expressed itself by compelling him to sock Artur Sitkowski in the face.

He got him GOOD, too. Look at how Sitkowski’s head snaps back! That must have also hurt Maietti. No explanation was ever given for this.

I could watch this a million times and laugh every single time. Congratulations, Rutgers! You’re #1!