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Where We Be, What We Be Drinking: Championship Weekend

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“I hope there’s gin”

Hey everyone, welcome to the final week of WWBWWBD: The weekly segment where your OTE “writers” share how they’ll be spending game day.

Welcome to the dumbest and most pointless week of the season, that for some reason is still so important it will determine where a bunch of our teams go bowling. That’s right it’s championshipship weekend! You want stupid rematches? You want neutral site games that take all the pageantry and atmosphere out of the game we love? You’ve come to the right place!

Let’s go get that extra TV revenue for the league around the country one last time to see what everyone is doing for game day:

Creighton

I’ve got a case and a half of Spotted Cow in my pantry I need to get rid of, and watching wisconsin get throatpunched by Ohio State again seems like as good a reason as any to put a dent in that supply. I also plan on drinking some eggnog (with bourbon) and probably a glass or two of scotch (Laphroaig Quarter Cask) to stay warm. I’ll be at home on my couch, probably making some chili and using a VPN to vote for Keith Duncan to win the Groza Award infinity times.

MNWildcat

Some jerks I know had the AUDACITY to schedule their wedding for the Big Ten Championship meaning the Northwestern fan Minnesota fans hahahahaha wisconsin fans in attendance can get dicked. As such, I will be doing three of my very favorite things in the world: Celebrating people getting married, getting drunk as shit on an open bar, and ignoring either Ohio State or wisconsin winning a Big Ten Championship.

Beezer

I will be in sunny cold Boone, NC watching the Sun Belt Championship and hoping for a win by Wisconsin’s marquee 2020 noncon opponent, App State (they host Louisiana because the sun belt rules and plays the CCG at the better team’s stadium). I’ll probably drink a couple App State golden ales because go team. Later, assuming I’m back in time and want to see a murder, I’ll watch the B1G CCG and drink eggnog with bourbon.

Candystripes For Breakfast

Saturday means work, but since I’m mostly in charge of the TVs in store, the B1GCCG will definitely be on. Coke and/or Cherry Coke will be toasting Ohio State whoever the new Big Ten champion happens to be.

Boilerman

I’ll be at the company’s Christmas party in Fort Wayne. Drinking Crown Royal and 7s and checking in on the game from time to time. Cheers.

Pkloa

I’ll be sleeping guilt-free. If I happen to wake up in the third or fourth quarter I’ll probably turn the game on. If the Buckeyes are pitching another shutout, however, you can count me out.

BigRedTwice

Going to Book Club! (“Murder Must Advertise” by Dorothy Sayers, if you were curious.) I hope there’s gin. I’ll probably remember to check the score after the game. Good luck with that, Wisconsin.

Andrew K

I will be in Springfield, MO, visiting fambly and more specifically Red Bean (niece) and Ginger Nugg (baby nephew I’m seeing for the first time). This will be their first, horrifying exposure to Uncle Andrew Yelling About Memphis Football.

Townie

I’m back in North Florida after some travel for work. I will be drinking and watching Ohio State massacre the Badgers.

Aaron Yorke

I’m going straight from work to an escape room for the same birthday party I always miss the Big Ten Championship for.

Dead Read

Lovely downtown Lincoln. I will luxuriate in the last week of regular college football (mostly). Some idiot scheduled a two hour conference call around noon.

WhiteSpeedReceiver

I’ll be making Christmas cookies and moonshine with my Mom in central MN.

Now that you know what we’re doing, how will you be spending championship weekend? Are you an Ohio State fan with enough marks on your Lucas Oil Stadium punchcard to get a free hoagie? Are you a Minnesota fan building a gingerbread stadium to fill with little gopher cookies so you can pretend you made it to the dance afterall? Head down to the comments and let us know!