Have you had enough basketball talk? No? Then I’ll continue.
(Seriously, though, we’re under a month to positional breakdowns and spring games. So if you’re a football reader who’s, frankly, tired of this squeakyfouls shit, just hang on.)
Anyways, we’ve given you a deep dive on how the Michigan Wolverines are somehow back in the running after Purdue and Michigan State both pissed down their legs, we’ve recapped the week’s hoops games, and we’ve updated you on the Big Ten’s NCAA Tournament bracketology.
Now it’s time to talk about today’s games, because the next week and a half of conference championship tournaments give you the great excuse to watch shitty basketball on your second monitor while pretending to fill out those forms.
Big Ten Basketball
Men’s Conference Play
Minnesota Golden Gophers at #24 Maryland Terrapins
MN: 19-11 (9-10 B1G), NET | MD: 21-9 (12-7), NET
6pm | FS1 | MD -7 | O/U 134
WSR: We beat Purdue. If we can keep it close with Maryland that’d be pretty awesome.
DJ Carver: Fully expecting a complete Turgeoning on senior night to complete the end of year slide.
Maryland should pick up Lester Quinones, 2019 2 guard. Fills a big need for a shooter. He was down to LSU and MD and well....zero chance Will Wade is coaching next season.
[Things seem fine; no need to ask any further questions.]
This poll is closed
Women’s Big Ten Tournament
 Maryland (26-3, 15-3) vs.  Michigan State (20-10, 9-9)
11am | BTN
We mentioned in the last thread—this is a rematch of the January upset the Spartans pulled over Maryland. The Terps are trying to keep alive any hope of climbing back onto a 2-line.
 Michigan (20-10, 11-7) vs.  wisconsin (15-17, 4-14)
1:30pm | BTN
The badgers are bad; Michigan is fine.
 Iowa (23-6, 14-4) vs.  Indiana (20-11, 8-10)
5:30pm | BTN
It’s all about weathering the Megan Gustafson storm, for the Hoosiers—they pulled the 75-73 upset earlier in the year thanks to a Bendu Yeaney runner to claw IU back from a 15-point deficit. The Hoosiers attacked Gustafson, fouling her out, and will need another hot shooting day to balance out the Hawks’ advantage inside.
 Rutgers (21-8, 13-5) vs.  Purdue (19-14, 8-10)
8pm | BTN
Heeeeeere comes the full-court press, whether C. Vivian Stringer is patrolling the Knights’ sideline or not (I don’t believe she will be). The Boilers handled the Huskers’ defense, but Rutgers is a different matter entirely.
Big South Conference Tournament
Gore Arena, Campbell University, Buies Creek, NC
 Charleston Southern Buccaneers vs.  Radford Highlanders (5pm, ESPN+)
 Gardner-Webb Bulldogs vs.  Campbell Fighting Camels (7:30pm, ESPN+)
Should I Care? The Buccaneers’ takedown of the Winthrop Eagles was a bit surprising, but this is background noise at best. There’s better stuff on.
Times Union Center, Albany, NY
 Iona Gaels vs.  Saint Peter’s Peacocks (6p, ESPN3)
 Canisius Golden Griffins vs.  Manhattan Jaspers (8:30pm, ESPN3)
Should I Care? Seems kinda cruel to force these kids to play a game at 9:30pm ET, all in the name of getting a couple of eyeballs on you thanks to ESPN3. But I guess that’s the way it goes.
Arch Madness! MVC Tournament
Enterprise Center, St. Louis, MO
 Loyola-Chicago Ramblers vs.  Valparaiso Crusaders (12:05pm, ESPN+)
 Missouri State Bears vs.  Bradley Braves (2:35pm, ESPN+)
 MY Drake Bulldogs vs.  Illinois State Redbirds (6:05pm, ESPN+)
 Southern Illinois Salukis vs.  Northern Iowa Panthers (8:35pm, ESPN+)
Should I Care? Hell yeah you should! The Valley is a decent conference down through about #7 in the bracket. The Redbirds were a tough out for my Bulldogs—who have, concerningly, lost DJ Wilkins to an ankle injury—in the regular season, but if chalk holds, a Loyola/Drake final will be a good one.
Plus, these are really your only options for the day in terms of games that are actually on while you’re at work. So...enjoy! Loyola-Valpo could be fine, while Missouri State-Bradley should be a good one!
Crescent City Craziness! OVC Tournament
Ford Center, Evansville, IN
 Belmont Bruins vs.  Austin Peay Governors (7pm, ESPNU)
 Murray State Racers vs.  Jacksonville State Gamecocks (9pm, ESPNU)
Should I Care? Absolutely, if just for Murray State’s Ja Morant. Get past the funky shooting motion, because the kid is averaging 20 points and 10 assists—the first player in D-I history to do that since assists were tracked—and will throw down a sick dunk or two. These games are fun, fast, and high-scoring.
U.S. Cellular Center, Asheville, NC
 VMI Keydets vs.  Western Carolina Catamounts (4pm, ESPN+)
 Samford Bulldogs vs.  The Citadel Bulldogs (6:30pm, ESPN+)
Should I Care? Not until Wofford (KP 20) and Furman (KP 52) play each other in the final on Monday. Unless UNC-Greensboro (KP 85) beats Furman, which is possible, I guess, since the Spartans are the 2-seed, not the Paladins.
Actually, Samford plays fast (90th AdjT) and The Citadel plays faster (12th AdjT), while VMI isn’t far behind at 31st. So if you want to watch bad basketball played at unnecessarily-fast paces, it’s something to check out.
West Coast Conference
Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, NV
 Loyola Marymount Lions vs.  Pepperdine Waves (4pm, TheW.tv)
 Santa Clara Broncos vs.  San Diego Toreros (6pm, TheW.tv)
Should I Care? No. Not until...you know what? Don’t even bother with the inevitable Gonzaga-St. Mary’s final. It’s not fucking worth it.
Here’s your open thread for the day’s basketball. Go nuts!